Star Flowers
by Lady Elora
Summary: An alternate ending to the original story of Safe in My Arms. With an all new storyline and about 25 newly revised chapters, this story features an alternate ending to Safe in My Arms with a VictoriaxFaerlain pairing.
1. Expectations

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Tolkien's amazing work, nor do I ever even dream to foreshadow it's greatness with my puny, pathetic fantastic obsession.

**Note to the Reader: **For fans of _Safe in My Arms_, you were promised an alternate ending for the story way back when I finished the original in July of 2006. Well, as promised, here it is! Now, this story is not only an alternate ending, it is also a full revised edition of _Safe in My Arms_, and will span from 20 to 25 chapters of all new, revised content and an edited story line. :)

So if you're a fan of the original, or reading this story for the first time, I present to you, the alternate ending of _Safe in My Arms_, the tale of Faerlain and Victoria. :)

**Rating: **This fic is rated **'T' **for mild language, violence.

* * *

**Chapter One**

Expectations

* * *

_Once upon a time, there was a girl who had loving parents and a great brother. They lived on a horse farm. One day, the brother got into an accident... and he died. The End. _

_... Doesn't sound like much of a fairy-tale does it? No... not many people have fairy-tale endings anymore. But I did... and that bit was only the beginning... only the seed of my tale. It wasn't too long ago... not by any standards at all. But my tale... something different happened in my tale... something that doesn't happen in most. Have I intrigued you? I should hope so... my greatest desire in life was to always be remembered for something... perhaps this shall be my legacy. _

_And, like most fairy-tales, my story starts off with a tragedy. Death is something that happens to everybody... fate comes knocking at our door and no one realizes how much you have until you lose it. All of it. It was like that for me... and though death visits us all... it hit me in a particular way. For while we all lose someone at some point or another... it happens to us. Each one of us. _

_That was where my story began. _

_A story that belongs to me: I, Victoria. _

* * *

It was quiet that night... the night after the funeral. I don't think most people realize how quiet it can be... how silently change comes until, at lasts, it sweeps you so hard off your feet that you find yourself falling with no one to catch you.

I didn't have someone to catch me then... and I felt as though I could hardly breathe as I stood in the doorway of his bedroom... touching his clothes... remembering the way he would laugh... remembering that aroma he would bring into the house when he came in from riding.

He... was my brother, Zachary. And Zach... was dead.

Zach had a sort of vivaciousness to him that seemed to have left me behind. Blonde and blue-eyed, Zach had been my parents eldest child and only son... the star of the town and the light of their lives. He could brighten a room just by entering it... and his anger would smolder into flames that could have burnt holes in the old oak floors of our little farmhouse. And I had loved him... _very much_.

It wasn't like my parents didn't love me... it wasn't like that at all. I was just the quieter one. Yes, I could be bold. Bold, competitive, and prideful. But I wasn't like my elder brother. When I spoke my thoughts... they always came out wrong. I am brutally honest. And such honestly rarely finds many allies in a world such as ours. An ugly... dirty world that now... I felt I had no part of.

And it was so quiet... and there was no one their to catch me now as I fell. I did not sob or cry when they lowered him into the earth. I did not wail or moan as my father threw the first handful of dirt. Do you know it sounded like thousands of nails pounding in my head when the soil hit his casket? Do you know I wanted to rip it open the whole time and laugh when it turned out my brother had just been playing a joke and wasn't dead at all?

Did you know I wished it was all make-believe?

Did I know life could ever be like this?

No... apparently not. I could sense him everywhere... hear echoes of his deep voice drifting down the halls. I hardly noticed when my father gently laid a hand on my shoulder and asked me if I was all right. Mumbling, I told him I'd go to bed soon... hardly aware that he never left my side as I stared wide-eyed into Zach's bedroom.

Did you know it was then I shed my first tear? Did you know I could never remembered what happened after that moment the next day? Did you know I felt so hollow inside I thought I might break?

Do you know... I think it was all my fault?

* * *

My father's name is Henry, Henry Knightengale. My mother's name is Sarah.

Zach and I had competed together on my parents' horses since he was five and I was three. We'd compete in stadium jumping. It wasn't until I was fifteen that they gave me my first horse. He was an Appaloosa gelding, nearly 16.2 hands. Roughly white in color, with the barest hints of dark spots on his rump. We were a team.

That day after the funeral... it were as though time had stood still. I stood in my horse's stall... his name is Talorta, and I ran my hand over his shoulder... over and over again. Slowly, my mind numb, as I relished in the softness of his fur, the feel of his muscles beneath my hand.

Did I mention I have dark hair? Dark brown actually... and I share the same blue eyes as my brother... blue as the sky after a spring rain. Our eyes were the only things we had in common... that and our love of horses.

But none of that mattered anymore. I am eighteen... and the person closest to me that I have ever known... was gone.

It is summer now... and in the fall I am going to start my first classes at a local college... a college he had attended for two years now. Zach was always there to take care of me... and now I had to look out for myself.

But I didn't think I was ready... didn't think I could survive on my own. For the second time since the doctor told us he had died, the tears rolled down my cheeks. "How could you leave me?" I whispered, Talorta strained his neck and nudged me curiously, questioning perhaps the reason behind my tears. He didn't understand and I couldn't explain to him the reason for my sorrow. I couldn't explain it to anyone.

* * *

My parents tried as hard as they could in the weeks that followed to get our lives to return back to normal. But do you know what it feels like to see an empty chair at the table? Or to hear the silence that follows the wake of death? In some ways, the world moved on. The sun continued to rise and set, every day the horses still needed to be taken care of. Every morning I could still see the beautiful valley we lived in stretch out before me. An open vista, a glorious tribute to its creator.

But someone life seemed dimmer now... like a dark lense had been drawn over my eyes. Nothing brought me pleasure... and suddenly everything that once held meaning for me seemed lost on the morning breeze. Talorta was the only thing that remained constant for me. Because we did have something in common... we both had the same guilt.

* * *

"Did you hear about the convict that escaped from the city prison this week?" My father commented to my mother as he cut up his steak.

"Convict...? Around here?" My mother exclaimed in surprise. I offered no comment. While I knew their conversation was more for my benefit then their own, I also knew that they couldn't stand the silence any more then I could.

"Yeah... apparently he found a way out and they haven't seen him since."

"You've been locking up at night, haven't you Henry?" My mother asked nervously... I pushed my mashed potatoes listlessly around my plate... hardly listening to what they were saying.

"'Course I do Sarah." My father answered gruffly. "The guy broke into a local shop... but they haven't identified when he's stolen yet."

"All this excitement." She commented, then bit into her food. My parent's were in their late forties. My mother found out when I was born that she couldn't have anymore children. The fact that Zach and I had been born at all had been a miracle being as she had supposed to be phyically incapable of bearing children.

I waited for my brother to tell a joke... he'd always been so good at things like that. They didn't even have to be funny... we'd laugh anyway. That was just the way things were. But he never told the joke... and the conversation lapsed into silence. I felt my throat tighten and tears burned in my eyes. I dropped my fork and it clattered loudly, startling my parents as it hit my plate.

"Victoria!" My mother exclaimed in alarm. "Are you all right?"

I stood so fast that my chair flipped over, covering my mouth I just shook my head. "I need... I need to check on Talorta." I whispered breathlessly, choking on my words as his memory stole my breath away once again.

I could hear them call after me as I ran from the kitchen, out the front door, and out into the warm, evening air. It was dark now... a full moon shone brightly overhead and the stars were out. Our farm was at the top of a great big hill. To the left of the house there were some paddocks and an arena, to the right was the barn and our driveway. On all sides we were surrounding by dense woods and it took about five minutes to get back on the main road from our house.

I darted to the barn, in my blue jeans, loose black sweatshirt, and barefoot. Talorta jumped a little when I ran into the barn... and, to my surprise, I found the doors already open. My father usually closed the barn up before he went in for dinner. Hardly caring, I ran into Talorta's stall and wrapped my arms around his neck.

My shoulders shook as I let out long, shuddering cries that I had been holding in ever since he had died. And maybe that was my big mistake.

I have always been quick in my judgement, but I have rarely ever acted impetuously. Yet, as I scramble onto Talorta's back, I had no judgement at all I gripped his mane tightly and prodded his sides. I felt numb- nothing left to say or do except to ease the heartache that seemed to permeate into my very being.

Talorta tentatively exited the barn, snorting with excitement and the night air licked our faces and rippled his mane. Prancing, I started to trot him to the woods behind the arena. There was a trail there... that led to a clearing Zach and I always used to go to. I didn't care where I went... I just needed to find him somewhere.

_His_ memory lingered everywhere- killing me inside. I knew if he didn't leave me soon I wouldn't be able to keep up my facade... I'd just simply crack.

You know how when you watch those horror movies, the hairs on your arms stand up on end? I don't know what it was... but I slowed Talorta... and that's when I saw him. Not Zach... no. Though I wished it so many times in the seconds that followed. It was the silhouette of a man, his profile hidden by the darkness but his figure illuminated by the moon.

* * *

_It might have all ended very differently if a few things hadn't happened next... but then again... none of what happened to me would have occurred if not for this fateful night._

* * *

He was holding something that glinted... like metal... in the moonlight. And he was shaking... with anger or fatigue I didn't know. There was someone on the ground behind him... someone who moaned suddenly as the man's hand continued to shake.

They say that your life is already written by the big man upstairs from the moment you enter this earth. Whether or not you follow the story he has in mind for you depends entirely on the choices you make in life and the paths you decide to follow. I don't know what God had in store for me that night... either way... it was far from anything I had expected.

Talorta froze, his ears twitching as the sound of the man's heavy breathing permeated the night air. And we both stood there, staring silently as the moon light streamed down and the wind whistled in the trees. My mouth felt dry and parched and I thought longingly of my parents sitting back in the kitchen at home. _Why did you leave? Why did you leave?_ Kept echoing in my head, the thought tormenting me as the cold started to chill my body.

The person behind him moved sluggishly on the ground, and their moans were obstructed by something. "Don't-" I began... but just then the front door slammed and I heard the booming voice of my father from the front porch.

"Victoria?" He called sharply, concern evident in his tone.

It happened so fast after that... Talorta reared in fright as my father tromped from the house and then a loud shot rang out. I slid off, stunned and suddenly too weak to control Talorta's impetuous and frightened behavior. My head hurt as I absorbed the shock of hitting the ground and my shoulder burned... _a lot_.

I looked up at the stars... the beautiful stars. They had a dreamy quality to them, and the mist from my breath floated up to them, blanketing them in puffs of steam as I breathed and the mist vanished. It was all blurry for some reason... and I couldn't understand much as a strange weight in my head whispered to me of sleep.

Someone was holding my hand. It was a man... and he sounded tired. But his voice didn't belong to my father. Over and over again he whispered to me, "It's all right, I'll save you."

But his voice was fading now... and soon I couldn't see anything at all.

You know how things look dark when you close your eyes? Well... it wasn't like that for me. Everything just kept getting brighter and brighter until, at last, I didn't feel the cold of the night or the burn in my shoulder... or the soothing voice telling me to hold on... _to hold on..._

* * *

**A/N: **Well... what did you all think:) This begins a line of chapters I'll be posting every other day or so that will delve into what Safe in My Arms would have been like if Victoria and Faerlain had hooked up in the end. Do review, it's been so long since I dove into LotR fanfiction that I'm a little rusty. :)

Oh, and the SIMA website (the link to which has been posted at the bottom of my bio) has been updated with a brand-spanking new layout commemorating this story along with some new fan art done by myself. :) Do check it out if you get a moment:)

Till next we meet...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Awakening

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Tolkien's, that is all.

**Chapter Quote:** "What is your name?"

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Awakening

* * *

You know how you feel groggy when you first wake up in the morning? Well... I didn't feel like that... it was different somehow. My mind was all fogged up, not groggy per say, more like someone had thrown a blanket over my senses- confusing me. My body ached with a foreign pain, and I my head was ringing. But nothing felt familiar to me... not the sun on my face or the rustle of wind through the trees.

_Sun?_ What had happened to the man silhouetted by the moonlight? What had happened to the darkness of my autumn night? It was full daylight now... and I was in a forest of some kind. But I couldn't recognize the trees... and the sun was hurting my eyes. I winced. I could hear Talorta whinnying somewhere nearby, I could hear the pound of his hooves as he nervously struck at the earth.

Gritting my teeth, I rolled over- moaning as my movements jarred my injured body- especially my shoulder. I glanced at it as I propped myself up as far as I could. I felt dizzy as I saw blood seeping into the earth. _My blood. _I had to resist the urge to vomit.

I looked up weakly, looking for any sign of help. That's what I needed most now... help. I could feel myself growing weaker and weaker as I lay there, helpless to my fate. Talorta was galloping in and out of the trees, I was laying in a clearing of some kind... a clearing with tall grass and surrounded by trees with beautiful blue and white flowers.

Talorta sprayed my face with dirt as he skidded to a stop before me and whinnied again. I closed my eyes, listening to him paw the earth as he tried to understand where he was. _You won't leave me... will you boy?_ I thought. Was I to die out here... alone?

I laid back down, settling into the grass and letting the contentedness of the forest settle over myself, calming my panic. Would my life be ended here, now... so abruptly? I wanted to protest, to fight this... this weakness that tempted me with every second of life I possessed. It wasn't fair... I was young still... my life lay like an open book before me... a book with blank pages. But Zach had died hadn't he? Had he deserved his fate? I closed my eyes, blinking back tears as I tried to imagine my brother's face.

Talorta whinnied again, and I could feel the vibrations in the ground as he darted off again... back and forth, weaving in and out of the tree line...

_... back and forth..._

* * *

"_Oh sweet Uru... Cudir!"_

I woke up again with my head hurting worse then before. Startled by the sound of strange voices, I jolted awake and tried to jerk myself upright. My reward was a sharp bolt of pain that struck me helpless, and I could do little more then moan and shudder as I felt a cool hand on my forehead.

"_Is she alive?"_

"_She's bleeding badly... we need to get her back to the village._."

I couldn't hear Talorta anymore... had he run away? Had he left me here? I felt tears burn in my eyes at the thought. Was he dead... was I dead? Thousands of unanswered questions plagued me... but I lacked the strength to discover their answers. And, just then, I wanted nothing more then to remain there forever. _It would be so easy..._ enticed one side of my mind. _What are you holding on to?_

"_She's waking."_ Said the voice closest to me, and I felt hands slide under my body. I tried to weakly jerk away, but found my efforts thwarted by a body unwilling to cooperate. I opened my eyes to narrow slits, two men were hovering over me. They were dressed in strange clothes... like something from medieval times. Only they were in colors of light browns and greens, I tried to pull away from them again. I came from a rural area... but I could think of a 101 horror stories from the cities. _Who are you?_ I tried to pull away... but I found that they... _him_... was simply stronger. I looked up weakly at him as he lifted my body effortlessly.

But I wasn't... afraid. He was different... like this place. I had no words to say, and my vision was blurring badly as the pounding in my head grew worse. I tried to get a glimpse of his face, but all I could manage was a glimpse of grey eyes. Bright, kind, grey eyes. He whispered to me in a language I couldn't understand, but I felt calmed somehow, and I let myself go limp in his arms.

I heard Talorta now, he nudged me with concern as the man carried me to his side. I wanted to tell my baby that I was all right... that we were all right. That everything was going to be all right. But it wasn't... and I had no way of knowing what would happen next. I was too weak now even to move my weary limbs. "Talorta." I murmured and I felt the body holding me pause.

"Is that his name?" He asked me kindly, his voice was accented slightly- but not in such a way that made it difficult to understand. It only made his voice all the more beautiful- musical if you will. I could make little sense of my situation now, and I wondered if the he had understood my fleeting nod to confirm his question.

"You will be all right now." He said quietly, "What is your name?"

I could feel myself drifting off into a darkness that had seeped into my consciousness... and I found I could barely mumble my name before it overtook me.

"Victoria." I mumbled. "Victoria Nightengale."

I can remember sitting before him as we rode away on his horse. He bade me to sleep as we rode into the thick, green woods. So I did, and I found myself too weak to protest as he pressed a hand to my shoulder, holding my life between his fingers.

_Wake up Victoria... wake up._

_The sun felt so warm on my face and Zach's laughter had filled me with a sense of contentment I hadn't felt in a long time. _

_Wake up,_

_But I didn't want to wake up... I didn't want anything to change. I would just go on with my dreamworld... and no one would ever die._

_Ever._

* * *

When next I awoke, someone was bathing my arm. It was a woman, tall with dark hair that met with her small, delicate waist in a shimmering cascade. Her hands were gentle, and her continence serene. She smiled at me as she caught my curious gaze... and it was then I noticed that she had _pointed ears_.

I blinked once or twice, a thick bandage had been tied tightly about my head. And I found that while I didn't ache so much as before, I still felt very, very tired. I looked around, I was in a large room of sorts. There was a fire roaring on the wall closest to me, and it warmed my bare shoulders as she pressed cool compresses to my skin.

I was laying in a bed in the northern end of the room, or so I assumed it was. It was decorated sparsely, but not poorly. It reminded me somehow of home. In both east and west walls there were windows.

She smiled, "Feeling better?" Her voice was sweet and soft, melodic. Can a musical voice be described as having an accent? Her eyes were depthless blue. They were not like normal eyes, bright and young. They were old... older then the oldest trees back home on my farm. They held no past... no future... no memories. They just _were_... like they had just always _been_. Like the sea.

My throat didn't feel so dry now, and I closed my eyes briefly before I answered. I felt so relaxed, nothing in the world could have troubled me just then. "How long have I been sleeping?" I asked quietly, testing the words on my tongue which had been ill suited for talking last time I had been awake and aware.

She looked up for a moment, counting, "Nearly a week I should think. You were very ill."

My eyes widened. _A week! Where was I? _I felt a rush of panic and I jerked under her touch. Unnerved, I tried to sit up, but she firmly pressed me back down, to... well, whatever I was laying on. It felt like a bed. Nevertheless, it raised both my pride and my anger considerable. Who was she to order me around? I felt dizzy again and my head started to throb.

"No Victoria, you must rest." She said firmly, she gently caressed my cheek- soothing my quick-tempered emotions. "None of that."

I glanced at her in surprise, my anger fading as I gazed up at her. "How did you know my name?"

She smiled again, "Faerlain told me when he brought you here."

"Faerlain?" The name was foreign to my tongue. It had a strange sound... well suited to the strange voices of this people but it tasted different in my mouth. I was starting to feel drained again, and any energy I had moments before seemed to have evaporated.

"Yes _iell..._ it was he who found you in our forest." She shook her head as she gently pressed a crisp, white bandage to my shoulder. "Humans never do heal quickly... the recovery is always so painful."

My mind kept flying from one thought to another and her answer satisfied me in the mean time. What I knew so far of this place was that 'Grey Eyes', as I think I remembered him, had a name. Faerlain. I looked up at her again, "Who are you?" My mind tried to connect the dots of my present predicament. "And where am I?" My gaze touched the tips of her ears again and I frowned.

She smiled, "My name is Mirlaic... and you are in the village of Gilloth." She gestured with her free hand. "This is my home... I am the healer here."

I'm not a stupid person by far... and she was wearing strange clothes too. A gown made of dark brown material unlike anything I had ever seen... and the name of this place didn't ring a bell either. "Gilloth?"

"It is a small village. I am not surprised you do not know it. Few have ever heard of it, and even fewer have ever been here. But we are a good village, good people. If it helps, we only a few hours away from King Thranduil's palace- on the Eastern borders of Mirkwood."

My mind swirled with all this information, it was like a dream. Even now I wasn't sure that it was at all true. Where was I? Where was home? Where were my parents? I tried to concentrate on tangible things, I could feel myself fading. "Talorta...?"

"Your horse? He's fine. Resting comfortably in the stables, as you should also. I'll get you something to eat and then you should sleep. You are still far too weak for all this worry."

Above all else I did not want to rest _or_ eat. But the lady was so kind and patient. I was tired... and arguing required too much energy. So I found myself obeying her wishes and I soon fell back to sleep with the sound of her humming a gentle melody that sounded like wind in the trees and the patter of rain.

* * *

**A/N:** And here's chapter too. As you've noticed, I've booted out Aragorn from the original and put in Faerlain and Cudir. The beginning chapters are going to be very similar to the originals, I'll be mainly delving away from my original story line somewhere after chapters 9 and 10. Enjoy!

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Gilloth

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work. (Bows humbly to Tolkien)

**Chapter Quote:** _My parents didn't always have those lines of sorrow etched in their faces... or a lifetime of regret buried in their eyes. _

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Three**

Gilloth

**

* * *

**

Being in this strange lady's house took a while to sink in, and a lot of soothing on her part. The _lady_ being Mirlaic that is. Perhaps she thought I was some dim-witted girl from a neighboring village and, being so kind, decided to inform me of this place at which I was residing.

I have to tell you, I am not the person who is quick to trust... but there was something about Mirlaic that was calming. And sometimes she reminded me so much of my mother before Zach died I thought I might burst into tears. My parents didn't always have those lines of sorrow etched in their faces... or a lifetime of regret buried in their eyes.

But Mirliac was special too... maybe it was just the fact she looked so beautiful, or it might of just been her pointy ears. I don't know, but I found myself asking more and more questions; eagerly awaiting her replies and answers.

I was able to sit up after my third day awake, and I would bombard her with any questions I could think of as she dressed my bandages, helped me to eat, and generally helped me to get better.

I was confined to my bed for a week more. My arm was still sore and I couldn't use it yet... but Mirlaic began to tell me everything she could about this world I was now in. I hadn't been outside yet, but their were small windows lining a few parts of the walls of her house, in which I was able to look out sometimes at the people around me. All of them dressed like Mirliac and my mysterious rescuer... and I never heard mention of any modern technologies like cars or telephones. Maybe you can blame my high school knowledge of geography... but I couldn't remember any country called 'Mirkwood' on the globe.

I could decide on whether or not I was dreaming... but Mirliac humored me anyway and started in my 'education' by laying out a map of a place she called _Middle Earth_, I had never heard of it, but not wishing to sound any thicker then I must have already, I asked enough questions to satisfy my curiosity, and not sound entirely stupid at the same time. In fact, though I felt young and childish around her. And though my youth seemed to pale in comparison to her, she seemed to not care. Instead she seemed to rather enjoy my company, and as I grew in health, hers.

She showed me where Gilloth was on her strange map. She had been right, the village was not on it and had been roughly pencilled in by herself. There was a large forest called _Mirkwood_, and towards the middle-eastern part was _Gilloth_. The village was only about 50 miles away from the palace, as she called it. She said Gilloth meant 'star-flower', after flowers which grew here. The flower was rare and was used for it's beauty and smell, which could lull a raging animal (or human) to sleep and also aided in healing. It glowed at night a sparkling silver and during the day retained a creamy while color, like milk, with a pale blue center.

She told me that this Mirkwood was inhabited by people called _Elves_, which immediately brought to my mind images of little people running around Santa's Workshop in the North Pole. She laughed when I tried to explain this to her and she didn't end up getting it in the end.

She said that the Elves were the Eldar, the first and fairest race in Middle Earth. She told me that they were immortal and had lived in peace in their own respective countries for years. (She also said that Elves had pointy ears... which explained that I might very well be dreaming)

If you can imagine, when Mirlaic said she was almost 3,000 (She thought, she couldn't quite remember) I thought I had gone mad. But alarmingly, this whole place appeared to be more and more of a reality each day as I saw others stop by Mirlaic's cottage during my confinement.

All of them held the same grace and poise Mirlaic did, all had pointy ears, all dressed... well... _kind_ of funny. Like something out of King Arthur's time, only they all had this look of flawlessness... even when they were working. They all had this look in their eye-. This ancient sort of look, like they had lived through and seen countless things. And if what Mirlaic had told me was true, they had indeed- and were far older then I could even imagine. .

She said that Mirkwood was ruled by an Elf name King Thranduil. During my days in bed, I weaseled everything I could out of her about this fascinating world. She told me about the race of men, and pointed out to me their countries and the names of their rulers. She even informed me to a little history about each. She told me of little folk they called the _periannath, _in their own language. (Half-lings in my own) She said she knew very little about them. Few ever heard even of them. And it had been told that Hobbits liked to keep to themselves. Of course, I couldn't find America on her map or any such country that looked even remotely familiar... and I told her so. Surprisingly, she didn't seem at all concerned and continued on explaining to me the ways of this place.

When Mirlaic eventually mentioned the name of my mysterious rescuer, I pleaded with her to tell me anything she knew about him. She told me that he was the son of a the village merchant, and that he had only just come back recently from fighting on the borders of the country. She wouldn't tell me anything else about him- and I had to keep a hold on my curiosity in the mean time.

I loved to hear her speak in her language which she called, _Sindarin_. She even began to teach me a little. Needless to say, by the time I could get up and about, I was hesitant to leave Mirlaic to explore the village. However, it didn't take me long to get out of bed when she reminded me that Talorta was stabled just outside. That reminded me that I hadn't seen him since the accident... and I realized that for nearly two weeks I had hardly thought about my brother, or my home, at all.

* * *

"Hey baby!" I called as I entered the stables outside Mirlaic's house. I rubbed his neck as he whinnied happily and nuzzled my neck and chest with his velvet nose. I laughed and began to whisper the few phrases Mirlaic had taught me. I groomed him and found that he had become good friends with Mirlaic's horse, _Sirdhail_. Mirlaic had fashioned me into a sort of light brown dress, (which I hated but was not about to complain after being locked up for so long) and I decided to ride Talorta around the village bareback to see what I could see. 

Gilloth was indeed as Mirlaic had said, small. But it was beautiful, it was the first place I had truly seen in this Middle Earth. I wondered if I had gone crazy, and maybe I was dreaming. But this was much better then at home, so who cared if none of it was real and I was in a coma or something? (I certainly didn't.) At least at first I didn't mind. The Elves of the village were one of the reasons it was so amazing. They were perfectly flawless in appearance and grace. And I instantly felt out of place. The villagers were hesitant to talk to me, which Mirlaic had explained, was due to the fact that most humans did travel through, not many people (of any race) ever stopped in Gilloth at all except to get samples of it's rare namesake.

On top of that, it turns out that most Elves just don't mix with most Humans either. I was still pale and slightly weak from me past experiences, but I decided the best thing for me today was to get out of Mirlaic's house. Not that I didn't like it, I was intensively curious to the world that she had spent full days for almost two weeks telling all she could. That is, all that she could tell and that _I could understand_.

She said I was welcome as long as I liked when I told her the chances of me going home (or even finding it) were remarkably slim. Mirlaic didn't seem to mind at all. She kind of was like a second mother to me, and I wondered why she didn't have any children of her own. Thinking on the topic further if she did have children the same age as me, they'd be hundreds of years old! And that in turn, felt strangely uncomfortable to imagine.

Talorta was munching happily on a pile of hay when I entered the barn. He greeted me with a soft whinny as I approached and, smiling, I rubbed his neck tenderly. It was reassuring to see a familiar face after everything that had been happening lately... and it felt good to stoke his silky fur once more. A painful memory twinged at the back of my mind, but I firmly clamped it down. I wasn't going to let _anything_ ruin this day.

I would say I was different since I had come here... and that could have only been a week or two. Time felt strange here... the days seemed to be a whirl of mystery and exploration for me and flew by faster then I could recollect. But these people... if what Mirlaic said were true... had no sense of time. Sure, they slept at night and worked during the day- but there were no clocks. No one had to be anywhere at any other time... no one rushed about. All the Elves in the village had a certain grace... an air you could sense from even the youngest child I had seen.

Occasionally half-resolved that this place must all be a fantastic dream, I went through my days enjoying everything that I possibly could. It was like a vacation really... and it wouldn't be for a good long while that I realized I wasn't going to 'wake up' anytime soon.

* * *

The village was on the edge of a thick forest, surrounded by trees on all sides and parted by a dirt road then continued out of side within the forest's depths. The road ran from the west to the east and deep into the heart of Mirkwood, which Mirlaic explained led straight to another village or two, and then ended at King Thranduil's palace. 

I felt like a little girl, dreaming of Knights in shining armor and princesses locked away in towers. But this time, it was so _real_. Small houses lined either side of the road and were literally built in and around the trees. None of them had been cut down, save a few to built the houses themselves. Carved with intricate designs that seemed to flow right into the tree, the houses were a wonderful to behold... and I found I could spend hours staring at the different ones in Gilloth.

I guess questions about financial circumstances could be considered ill-mannered, so I decided to refrain from asking them. However, they did by no means appear to be particularly wealthy nor particularly poor. They were farmers, reaping the benefits of plentiful harvests and taking only what they needed. (Though Elves, apparently, do have a fondness for the finer material goods in life like gold and diamonds... which were apparently plentiful in some parts of this... dreamworld... of mine.)

I wouldn't say I was shunned by the villagers... but I wasn't exactly anybody's best friend either. My excursions through the village on Talorta often drew stares. Unfortunately, Elves seem to be pretty decent at hiding their emotions- so I was unable to tell what they thought of me and found my usual bold personality uncharacteristically reined in... and I was often too intimidated to stay in the village for very long though I did very much enjoy exploring the surrounding forests.

I asked once or twice about my rescuer... but Mirlaic said he was in some sort of army and wouldn't be back until later on in the year. I was slightly saddened by this news... because, of course, there was no way I'd keep dreaming about this for a whole year.

I didn't quite know what to think of them at all. Should I try to be friendly... or should I just keep my distance? But by the end of each day as dusk came and night settled, I would decide that I would try to adjust to this life and these people as painlessly as I could... I didn't want anything to spoil this place I was in.

I returned home after my latest evening of exploring to a steamy meal home-made by Mirlaic herself. She looked pleased with herself, she, unlike the others in the village I had encountered so far, was not hesitant about displaying her emotions. It was one of the qualities that I found so loveable about her.

And I went to sleep with a few thoughts in my head... first, would I wake up here in the morning? Two... would I ever fit in? And three... how on earth was I going to get home?

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Chapter three. I remember this chapter was sooo hard to write. Because, unlike my very first LotR fanfiction (which was soooo crappy), my main character knew nothing about LotR and therefore had to be explained everything. Overlooking the fact that Mirlaic is very accepting of Victoria even though she is a complete and total stranger was a minor detail I didn't spend too much time with. The beauty of fanfiction. :)

Per the request of an anonymous review, who so... how shall I put this... nastily pointed out the wording of my summary (which was a play on old movie advertising... but try explaining that to some people. ;P) I have revised the summary for Star-Flowers as well... so this really is a whole, revised edition of Safe in My Arms. :)


	4. Reveal

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of Tolkien's. My characters and my plot are my own.

**Chapter Quote: **_An enemy I was all too familiar with, one I had lost my brother to before._

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Reveal

* * *

I found as the days continued that I slowly grew to be less surprised when I woke up in Mirlaic's house every morning. And gradually, I began to understand my new 'mother', and her people, more. Mirlaic was the village healer and in being so, held great respect among the villagers. But I was a stranger among them. And while they were not an unkind people, they did have the tendency to remain slightly... _aloof_ towards me. Mirlaic said it was simply because they were not used to strangers, especially mortals, in the village. But all I knew was that while I was not rejected by the villagers of Gilloth, I was not entirely welcomed either.

Since few choose to speak the Common Tongue (that's what Mirlaic called English) in Gilloth, and even fewer could understand it, Mirlaic decided it was in my best interest to start to learn her language. In the mean time, I had given up the thought of trying to explain to her that this all must be a dream. And that I would be waking up in a hospital soon... and that this would be all over. But the days wore on and I still woke up in Mirlaic's humble abode with strange clothes on my back and even stranger people walking around.

Needless to day, I had come to the conclusion that announcing that I thought I was either crazy or from another world, was entirely out of the question.

Mirlaic was not only a mother to me, but also my guardian angel. For she turned a cold shoulder to the whispers and sniggering that slunk around the village. Quite frankly, it was only her patience that kept me from going out and chucking a rock at one of their heads when I heard what came out of their mouth's sometimes. (During the few times that I could understand them. But it doesn't take much to realize that actions can speak louder then words... more often on occasion.)

The elven boys, however, were much different... in a way that was growing rapidly more annoying everyday. All varied in age from what looked like ten years to fifteen. (There was a decided lack of young men in the village... which Mirlaic said had something to do with a war that was going on.) Almost every one of them liked to talk loudly in their language whenever I walked by, knowing I could neither speak nor understand what they were saying.

And those who could speak 'The Common Tongue' were too wary of me to say much... and so the days and weeks passed one with only Talorta and Mirlaic in the ways of company. As a result of this, I think you can deduce that I hadn't made many _friends_. Actually, I haven't made a_ny_ except for the horses around here who don't seem to mind that I'm human.

After a month or so of living in the village, I had made a break through with my Sindarin. Much to my surprise, I am actually able to converse haltingly in it. (Enough to understand most of what the boys say about me now and I now stay up at night thinking of replies.) But I was still a long way off from being anything to these people except an unnecessary visitor.

Occasionally, I couldn't help but wonder if Mirlaic wished she had taken in a stray dog instead of me, it certainly would have caused less trouble. Or maybe even a dwarf... Mirlaic had told me all about them, though it didn't take me long to gather from the bitter tone in Mirlaic's usually musical voice that she held no fondness for their kind.

And so the months passed. I grew strong and soon my shoulder no longer pained me from my wound, and my memories of that past night long ago seemed but a blurry dream in my mind. There was always this sort of... guilt, perhaps, that I wasn't back home with my parents. But despite the tension that had built up between the villagers and I... I liked this place.

It was not overly active. Everything moved at a smooth pace, a continual cycle that kept time in its allotted slot and events occurring in a predictable pattern. Such calmness was more then welcome to me, due mostly I supposed to the fact that my brother's unexpected death had sent my life into chaos... and had turned my house into a crypt of memories that refused to be buried along with my brother's lifeless body.

So I lived contentedly in Gilloth, I rode through the forests with Talorta and learned the ways of the Elves with Mirlaic. The days wore on and Spring turned slowly into Summer... and I soon found my family had taken a 'back seat' in the workings of my mind.

Sometimes... it was difficult to remember them at all. And though I was loathe to admit it, most of the time, I simply didn't want to.

* * *

I spent most of my days out riding as Summer progressed. I found it difficult to keep track of time because it just didn't have the same meaning here. Elves did not really celebrate birthdays, or look forward to being one year older the following year. There was no concept of time, so every year was like a day for them. Simply because you couldn't really count them.

For me, this way of life was utterly foreign and unrealistic for someone who was going to become older with each and every passing day. But it was also relaxing in a way. I found I was able to enjoy myself more without worrying about what was always going on around me. Make no mistake, this did not mean that the elves were lazy people. It just meant that they were more content, in a way, with their endless lives then most are with their short ones.

And I guess you had to find that peace sometime, living forever sounded exhausting to me.

* * *

On the particular day that something unexpected happened after my third of fourth month of living here, I had been out in the forest with Talorta as usual. I loved the forest. Mirlaic warned me never to stray too far, poor souls often got themselves lost within its dark depths. But I was enchanted by its mysteriousness, and I strayed as far out as the Star-Flower Trees stretched.

I had taken up drawing as a past-time. One could find almost anything lovely to look at. So, with a sketch book Mirlaic had purchased for me in a satchel hanging from a thick strap on my shoulder, I was returning home to help Mirlaic with the evening meal.

The last thing I had expected was to see them standing outside Mirlaic's door. There was almost two dozen of them, all dressed in some kind of armor, with long bows strapped to their backs and curved swords sheathed at their hips. Soldiers. The first young male elves I had ever seen.

They were all drooping with fatigue, some held bloodied bandages to various wounds. One or two sat on the stairs, the others lay across the lawn. A few of the villagers milled about between them, holding cups of cool water to their lips and dipping cool cloths to their faces. Most of the villagers had formed a circle around the yard, whispering nervously to themselves.

I stopped Talorta just behind them, my eyes widening with shock. My presence, nor Talorta's unusual appearance, caused any notice among them. I slid off Talorta's back without bothering to lead him to the stable and, upon shoving my way through the crowd, I darted inside.

There were a few more soldiers inside. Some waited patiently for attention by the doorstep, and there were two more standing beside the fire assisting Mirlaic to care for another. The third elf was stretched out upon what looked like our kitchen table. The other two held him down and he moaned under Mirlaic's gentle touch. I quickly covered my mouth as bile rose in my throat as I caught sight of the soldier's bloodied side. The fire roared in the hearth, casting shadows on the wall. The flickering images, combined with my own weakness, made me dizzy and I choked down the urge to throw up then and there.

Mirlaic spoke gently to the injured soldier on the table, and whispered firm commands to the others as they worked. The young elf's shoulder and side were a blood mess- but I didn't stare long before I backed away with my eyes closed tight.

It was then that Mirlaic saw me, standing stock still against the wall, hidden in the shadows. She said something soft to the two elves helping here, and then made her way over to me. Her face was drawn with a seriousness that I had never seen before. "Are you well, iell?" She said.

And, blushing over my weakness, I lowered my hand, nodded, and opened my eyes to look at her. "What happened?" I asked hoarsely, carefully avoiding looking at the wounded elf by the fire and the piercing gazes of the others as they silently questioned my unwarranted interruption.

"There was a battle, their healer was killed. Several have been wounded, though this one is the worst." She replied, nodding to the soldier on the table. "Do you remember what I've been teaching you Victoria?"

My face blanched. While it was true that Mirlaic had been instructing me in some of the ways of medicine here, I was no doctor. And never in my life had I tried to mend a wound. "But I've-"

She shook her head. "What I have already taught you will be knowledge enough."She titled my chin up and looked into my eyes. "I need your help, _they_ need your help. Will you do this? For me?"

The elf on the table moaned again and I fought to remain upright as a wave of dizziness swept over me again. I couldn't let her down though, not Mirlaic, not now. I clenched my hands into fists at my sides and swallowed down the sickness in my throat. "What do you need me to do?" I managed.

She smiled and quickly gave me some herbs, bandages, and last minute instructions on how to attend to general wounds. "Elves heal much faster then humans, but many were poisoned. They were all able to walk here, so most of their wounds will already be on the mend." She concluded with some final methods to telling if a wound was poisoned or not, and then she quickly pressed a needle and thread into my hand. "This is if any of them are particularly bad."

I said nothing as I clenched the items in my hands. "Bless you." She whispered to me. And I nodded bravely for her, though I felt far from it. She hurried back over to the elf by the fire and I stared at the items balled up into my fists. How could I possible do this? I hardly knew anything about healing, let alone _sewing people up. _The needle pricked my finger, but I hardly felt it as the room started to spin again. I steadied myself against a wall and slowly headed back to the door.

The soldiers inside never complained about a thing, though I could see their pain plastered almost transparently across their faces. I smiled weakly at them and knelt next to the first one. His eyes were glassy with tell-tale signs of fever, and he clutched his right arm tightly. The wound was halfway down his shoulder, and his blood trickled through his fingers.

I brushed my fingers across his forehead, confirming his fever. He shivered beneath my touch and turned to gaze up at me. He said nothing as I spoke gently to him, trying to appear brave as the other soldiers turned their own, weary gazes towards me.

I felt tears burning in my eyes as I carefully moved his hand away from the wound to get a better look. I kept telling myself, over and over, that I had to be brave. That these men needed my hep. But I was afraid.

For to me, the injuries and pain meant only one thing to me, that I hadn't escaped from death. It had followed me here, condemning me even in this fantasy world where the people never died. It meant that memories of my brother still haunted me, and that I couldn't hide from them- even in this place.

I froze, and the soldier still said nothing. He leaned weakly against the porch railings and gazed despairingly at me as I pulled my hand away and trembled. _I can't do this_. I thought desperately. _I'm not strong enough..._

"I brought the water." Said a firm voice suddenly.

I looked up in surprise, tears starting to streak down my pale cheeks. It was one of the soldiers who had been helping Mirlaic, but I hadn't recognized him until now.

I would never be able to forget eyes like his, and I knew at once it was him. Faerlain. I gazed upon him in breathless astonishment. He looked so tired, but he still offered me a kindly smile as he knelt beside me and displayed a freshly drawn bucket of water. "Mirlaic told me to help you." He said.

I blinked wordlessly, wiping away my tears shamefully and I turned toward the wounded soldier. "You're going to be fine." I said as my trembling fingers removed his armor and cut away the cloth surrounding the wound. Faerlain put a strong hand on the elf's shoulder as his eyes widened and his body shuddered with pain as I began work on the wound.

I worked diligently, fighting off my own weakness and cleaning and bandaging the wound as Mirlaic had told me. Faerlain spoke softly to him the entire time, steadying his movements if he jerked to much for me to work. He quieted the elf's moans when the pain grew to great for him to bear.

Mirlaic had told me about the poison, but I hadn't realized what a toll it would take on the soldiers. "They are brave boys." She had said. "But the poison weakens their minds and resolve. It makes their injuries all the more painful and it lessens their ability to bear that pain bravely."

Faerlain's quiet murmurs were unable to take that pain away that all the wounded felt. But, as we moved on from soldier to soldier, his soft words instilled courage in their hearts, and brightened their eyes.

We worked all day until darkness fell. Most of them were then too weary and ill to be moved, so the villagers helped us to strike tents above them. They made soft beds on the ground while I distributed a mild sedative to help them sleep. It wouldn't take all their pain away, or knock them out completely. But it would take the edge of it away and allow them to relax as the antidote and their own bodies fought off the poisons and began to heal their wounds.

I never spoke a word to Faerlain again that night. I, Mirlaic, and a few of the other villagers worked unceasingly- monitoring each soldier through the night as they burned with fevers and moaned with pain. We changed bandages, applied ointments to the inflamed wounds, dampened their foreheads with cool cloths, and told them softly that it would soon be over. That they were home.

I felt numb to everything around me as I worked. My heart was cold, frozen with caged fear. My tears had long dried, but I felt nothing during those long hours as we fought for those boys lives against a nameless enemy.

An enemy I was all too familiar with, one I had lost my brother to before.

By dawn, the worst of it was over. The fevers broke and the village breathed a sigh of relief as the soldiers slowly began to get better. I slept little over the next few days. I attended to them on and off day and night. And by the end of the week, the tents were stuck down and every villager took at least one of the soldiers into their homes to get them off the ground.

It would be another weak until most were well again. It amazed me how quickly their bodies healed, how they adapted to the worst circumstances around them. And though the villagers will thrilled that all the wounded were recovering, their was still a tension in the air. The blood and illness had hit one, hard fact home. That there was still a war going on, and that it was far closer then anyone expected.

Hidden in the depths of the forest, it is easy to forget about the world in this peaceful place. But these soldiers had not been off fighting in some distant land. They had been protecting the borders.

And many had died.

* * *

After two weeks, almost all of them left. The soldier who had been so badly injured that I had seen that first day, was one of the few who remained behind as his body continued to heal. He had a bright personality, and his name was Tirnel. It was rather hard not to like him actually. Mirlaic had an extra room for the people she cared for, it was just off the main room. It enabled poor Tirnel to have some privacy, but also made it easy for Mirlaic to keep an eye on him.

Tirnel did not judge me at all. He was young. After spending a week or two caring for an assortment of injured elves, one begins to notice differences between them. For instance, how to tell which were older based on that look they had in their eyes. Tirnel was still fresh, his eyes were always bright. But some of the others had looked more subdued, though none possessed the agelessness that always danced within Mirlaic's eyes.

Tirnel left us by the third week to rejoin his company. There was no question as to whether or not he would go back. It was expected, and above all else, elves have an unflinching fidelity to their own people and to their homeland.

I was exhausted by the time all of the soldiers had left, but the experience had taught me many things. One of which that elves do not usually hold malice in their hearts. Rather, a suspicion of what is unfamiliar or tainted due to hundreds of years of contemplation. They were not an evil people, just one immersed in tradition, and I could understand that.

One thing I was not satisfied with however, was Faerlain. He had rejoined his company before I could properly thank him for all the help he had given me. He had aided me wordlessly when I had needed it most, twice by my count now. And he had given me the same courage he had given the others, if only by his soft words and encouraging smile.

I would not soon forget the softness of his grey eyes, or the way he encouraged his fellows on. I only wished I could have thanked him for all that he had done for me, for them. And perhaps gotten to have known him better.

But even the nicest of fantasies don't always come true. And I could be gone, for all I knew, before Faerlain ever returned to Gilloth.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Many Meetings

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of Tolkien's. My characters and my plot are my own.

**Chapter Quote:** "_Well- you can feel free to come and catch chickens whenever you please."_

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Many Meetings

* * *

It took a few days for me to get my old spark back, and it took nearly a week after which before I ventured out on Talorta again. My encounter with the soldiers had left me oddly drained, and Gilloth did not quite possess the same magic it had before. It was easy to forget about my past in a place where people never died. But people did die, even here. And now I didn't really know what to think about it.

After a few probing questions, I had discovered from Mirlaic that the soldiers, or warriors- as she preferred to call them, had run into a company of orcs in the forest. They had been ambushed, for the orcs didn't usually make it this far into the forest. Several warriors had been killed in the battle, including the company healer. After all the offending enemies had been hunted down, they had traveled three days through the forest to reach Gilloth- which had been the closest village.

The wounded had been a reminder that the village was not as secluded as everyone would have liked to believe. For this reason, the villagers seemed to gain strength from each other- and my presence was considered something less then a hindrance now. I would have liked to have said that the part I had played in helping the wounded had put me in a more favorable light with the villagers. Again, it wasn't that they _particularly _disliked me, I was just unusual. A foreigner. So while they had taken me in without question, they weren't exactly jumping over one another to make me feel at home.

After the crisis with the wounded, things were much different then they had always been. But now, I could occasionally feel respect or gratitude mixed in with the suspicion and indifference. I guess it was better then nothing, so I never complained, or even spoke of it to Mirlaic. It was my problem, not hers, and she had enough on her mind.

I could sense that something had changed over the last few weeks. I had never seen her so contemplative and quiet after the soldiers had left. Often I would catch her staring out the window, her eyes misting over. She would quickly dismiss any tears or questions that I might ask with a gentle smile. For while she denied anything being wrong, I could honestly say I had never seen her look so old and weary in the days that followed. Though I had no idea what was wrong- my naturally inquisitive nature wouldn't really let it drop either.

The days and weeks passed. It was late summer now, probably mid-August if I had been at home. I still wasn't all that familiar with the names of the elvish months here, so between me and Mirlaic, we stuck to the common names of the seasons when speaking to one another.

We rarely heard news of the battles outside of our borders, and since the soldiers had left, we rarely received any news at all. I wasn't sure what to think of it, I only knew that the silence we received was more concerning then actual news.

The unknown is always more frightening concept, especially when it concerns those whom you love. And the painful absence of the young men from the village was a constant reminder that nearly all the villagers had someone who was off fighting in a faraway war. One that was so far removed from us, that it was difficult to remember it existed at all. Or maybe it was just easier that way.

* * *

My rides with Talorta were soothing during the deep silences that accosted the village in the weeks following the crisis with the wounded. The severity of the way had really hit home, and the tension in the air made me so nervous that I couldn't stand being anywhere in the village for long periods of time. I frequented the forests, finding peace and tranquility beneath the thick, leafy canopies.

Sunlight rarely managed to filter its way down to the forest floor, but that was what was so great about sun flowers. They would always glow dully under the thick foliage where it was often a mixture of light and darkness during the day. The forest reminded me of home, and of happier times when my brother had still been alive. Yes, I had found peace here for a time. But it was as the villagers were always saying, the lives of humans are far too short in order to really appreciate anything for an extended period of time. For this reason, among others, I found myself strangely detached from the elves of Gilloth. Detached, restless, and often times- quite lonely.

Talorta always did his best to cheer me up- but there was only so much that even he could do. And I would often find myself lost in thought while we wandered in and out of the trees. I had gone deeper into the forest then usual today, just outside the natural borders created by the line of star-trees. They didn't really grow deep inside the forest, there just wasn't enough light to sustain them. They weren't especially large trees, you see, and they weren't tall enough to reach the sunshine and fresh air that the other trees, towering above them, hogged to themselves.

I was enjoying the silence that the forest offered me. I was enjoying it so much in fact, that I hadn't realized just how far Talorta had strayed off until I had realized that I couldn't see the Star-Flowers anymore.

That realization came to me so suddenly that I jerked Talorta to a halt and he whinnied in surprise over my sharp movements. I had never been so far from the village, and the strangeness of my surroundings unsettled me. "It's all right, boy." I said quietly, easing my own nerves as I ran my hand down his neck. "We can't have gone too far."

I didn't realize I had company until the strange horse had appeared, emerging like a wraith from the shadows. "If you count three miles from the village perimeter as not too great a distance, then you should have an easy time of it getting back." Said a soft voice. I jerked to the stranger in surprise and his horse came from directly in front of me and halted just ten paces away.

I was surprised, to say the least, and my pulse started to quicken with fear until I recognized who the stranger was. Again, it was hard not to miss the startlingly bright grey eyes. "Faerlain?" I asked in astonishment.

The elf mounted in front of me smiled. I couldn't see him clearly in his present position half way in and out of the shadows, but I could hear him chuckling. "Yes... and I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure of a decent introduction." He replied lightly.

Talorta was rigid as he gazed at the opposite horse, his eyes twitching curiously back and forth, and then he heaved a deep, guttural whinny as he caught a whiff of the horse's scent. It, or rather _she_ was a mare. Talorta was stallion... which meant, in a nutshell, that he wanted to be closer to Faerlain's lovely dappled mare, and he took a few forceful steps forward to prove so.

The mare snorted indignantly at the unwanted attention and didn't move while I slowed Talorta's advances to a halt. "Sorry." I said hurriedly. I found I had trouble tearing my eyes away from Faerlain's face. My mind seemed to be everywhere just then, darting from thought to thought as I struggled to find something intelligent to say.

"No need." He replied jovially. "He is a magnificent horse... unique coloring. Spotted... I've never seen anything quite like him." His eyes flickered from Talorta's coat back to my face. "You are the mortal we found in the forest months ago... are you not?"

I nodded, blushing as I recalled my past weakness here. I had always been a dependant soul, I had always Zachary to lean on. But my newfound independence after his death had left me shaken, and needing help from someone like I had made me uncomfortable. I nodded just the same, feeling indebted more then ever to someone I had only seen twice, and never had a decent conversation with. "Yes." I replied cautiously, tightening my grip on my reins as Talorta tried to prance closer to the mare. "I'm-"

"-Victoria." He finished softly. He smiled again, disarming the defensiveness I had built up as soon as he had appeared before me. "I remember you quite well."

I didn't know what to say. I was caught off-guard. Faerlain was handsome in every sense of the word- and charming too. Dark-haired, with a smooth, angular face and eyes that seemed to shine like beacons from within the hallows of his face; he had a friendly smile, and a kind demeanor that put you immediately at ease around him. He was coated with thick, elven armor- colored in such a way that it matched the subdued tones of the deep forest. But I could still see hints of the lithe figure that was masked beneath it all.

I blinked, clearing my head as I realized I still had not said anything in reply. It was then, as I sat blinking stupidly from atop Talorta's back that I noticed he was hunched over slightly in his saddle. Not much mind you, but for someone who spent three weeks straight dealing with battle wounds, it was enough for me to note with curiosity. Again, it was not much, but he held his right shoulder forward, and at an awkward angle. His right hand laid listlessly in his lap, and it was then that I noticed he had a makeshift sling wrapped about his lower arm and tied to his chest. It was very discreet, the same color as his armor, and it was tied to attract the least attention while still performing its use: preventing him from being in pain.

Scanning his face, I could see weariness tugging at the corners of his mouth, drowning the brightness of his eyes. He obviously, however, was trying his best to hide all of this and I gulped nervously as I made this observation. "Why did you come back? So soon I mean?" I asked quietly.

Faerlain's smile never wavered, but I saw the briefest of emotions flash over his face as he caught me studying his arm. Uncertainty perhaps? Maybe embarrassment. "I'm on leave." He said quickly, and apparently honestly too- for the tips of his ears flushed red at that moment and I fought the urge to giggle. Gone was the confident young man who had rode up to me only moments before.

"Sick leave?" I asked hesitantly, nodding in the direction of his sleeve.

The smile faded, and he cleared his throat. "Ah- it's nothing really-"

I nudged Talorta forward just a tad, enough to release some of the testosterone that had been building up ever since he'd set eyes on Faerlain's dappled mare. He lunged forward two steps until I reined him in. It was an intentional maneuver, one that unsettled the mare and caused her to jump back just a tad. The result was what I was expected however, Faerlain's mouth pressed together in a firm line, his right shoulder doubled over more in an effort to keep his arm still, and his hand clenched on the reins. He panted once he'd calmed his mare, and looked at me- slightly bewildered- as I slowly smiled.

I dismounted and set about to tying Talorta to a nearby tree. I moved over to him, feeling oddly confident at my new found knowledge as I stood by the mare's side, and gazed up at him into a face that held a look of surprise. "Come on down." I beckoned, motioning to a fallen long just to my right. "Let me have a look."

He blinked, his fingers twitched on the reins. "I... ah-"

"You can't deny it now. I have a feeling that elves don't necessarily like to lie. So what are you going to do? Leave me alone out here in the woods?" He remained dubiously silent for a moment and I felt a giggle threatening to erupt in my throat. "I promise I won't bite... and if you're really going through that much trouble to hide it, it probably doesn't tickle."

Faerlain blinked again, still obviously bewildered at what had just happened. And then that easy smile slipped back on his face. "You're a rather resilient creature aren't you?" He said.

I shook my head. "Just one who's seen a little too much of battle wounds to take them lightly of late. Come on."

Charming as he was, he didn't fight me again as he slowly slid off his saddle-less mare and stood before me, still hunched over. I pointed to the log, still feeling slightly self-conscious as he shook his head, still smiling, and sank onto the damp wood. Mirlaic was always after me about carrying bandages with me whenever I went out, for emergencies, she always said. Whether intended for me or for someone else I wasn't really sure, but next to my notebook in my satchel lay three or four bandages, a small bottle of ointment I had used on the previous batch of soldiers, and a needle and thread. A Middle-Earthian First Aid kit to be sure, and I silently thanked Mirlaic for her resourcefulness as I sat beside Faerlain on the log and motioned for him to turn toward me.

His armor looked as though it had been hastily fastened, and not all that loose either. He didn't say anything as I removed it, and neither did I. Though I tried to hide my smile as I saw the tips of his pointed ears redden once more. "What did you do?" I said, as I untied his sleeve at the seams, knowing from my brief training that his wound would probably be somewhere on his upper arm.

He didn't say anything at first, and then he chuckled. "It was from a while ago-" He flinched as I finally pulled away the cloth and rested my hand against his inflamed skin. "-it got worse." Sure enough, there was a long cut, nearly six to eight inches in length, stretching across his bicep. It looked swollen and infected, and a brief inspection showed the briefest signs of poisoning. I shook my head and slipped the satchel off my shoulders and began pulling the bandages out.

"We could ride back to the village- I could get Mirlaic to look at it-" I interrupted with another shake of my head.

"This is an older wound... you'll have a fever by the time we get there." I replied. "You probably weren't traveling fast when you rode up to meet me- I would have heard you otherwise. At a walk to keep you from jostling it, you'd be lucky if you didn't pass out by the time we got there." I looked up into his face, noting again how pale he was. Pausing, I brushed my fingers against his forehead, confirming that he had already gotten the beginnings of that fever. "You should have gotten someone to look at this for you." I told him firmly. I worked quickly, washing it with some water I had kept in a small canteen also buried in my satchel, I spread the ointment on and bandaged it up.

"You've been poisoned, that's why your arm is infected and why you've got this fever. We'll have to wait till we get back to disinfect it, Mirlaic can take care of that." I slipped his sleeve back on, tying it back at the seam. I didn't bother to fasten his shoulder armor back on- it was far too heavy for him just now away. I stood and he looked up at me. I felt his eyes on my face and I flushed a deep red from embarrassment now that my deed was done. It had been easy to attend to him while I had been still at work, but not I was horrified at my own forwardness. And I found I had nothing to say as he stood, grimacing slightly, and offered me that warm smile once more.

I scuffed my foot in the dirt, my brown dress feeling suddenly plain and unsightly as he stood there, gazing down at me. "We should probably get back." I said, "It'll be dark soon."

"Well, now that this awkwardness is past us, I'd like to thank you for a good job well done." He said cheerfully, "That ride coming back was getting a tad uncomfortable, and I'd like to ask you if you'd accompany me back to Gilloth."

I looked up at him after this speech and I felt my expression melt into a smile as I accepted. It was getting dark rather quickly, but there was still a warm summer breeze drifting through the trees as we headed back. I found Faerlain quite friendly as we rode. He asked about my time here, light subjects. He never questioned why he had found me, bleeding in the middle of the forest, not quite five or six months before. He talked about his people, the village. How the elven horses probably avoided Talorta because of his color, and how my halting Sindarin sounded more understandable then it had the last time he had been here.

I found I wanted so badly to thank him for all he had done for me. You know... saving my life... giving me the courage to help those who needed it... stuff like that. But I couldn't manage it somehow. He was intoxicating. The entire time we rode I felt like being around him was familiar, but I couldn't imagine why.

I was almost surprised by the time we reached the village. The sun had set by then, and the village flets all glowed warmly in the summer night as the elves settled in after a long day. Mirlaic's flet was still on the other side of town, and not knowing, where he would be spending the night, I asked if he would like to use the extra guest room there.

He declined politely and I learned his mother lived in the village. "I'll be by sometime tomorrow though- to get this bit of trouble checked out."

I nodded my agreement, and Talorta stomped impatiently as I hesitated in turning him towards home. "See you later then." I said softly.

He smiled and inclined head. "Indeed."

He was the first to turn away, and I quickly followed the suit. But I couldn't help but question that excitement that had wormed it's way quite suddenly into my heart. After all, I had only met Faerlain and already I couldn't believe my own impetuousness.

And yet, as I turned back to watch him ride off to the village, I couldn't help but feel... I dunno... _disappointed_ perhaps, that he had to go.

* * *

Mirlaic had fallen asleep by the fire when I walked in the door. I kissed her gently on the cheek, feeling a surge of affection for her as she lay peacefully in her chair. I tiptoed to my room, but I remained awake long after I had slipped into bed.

I recalled everything I could about him, the way he looked, the way his voice sounded, the way he laughed and moved. Again I couldn't help but feel it was all so familiar... but it remained a mystery to me even as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It wasn't until morning that I had no idea where he lived. I felt funny asking Mirlaic a question like that... but I had fully intended to until I realized she was not there when I woke up. I wasn't concerned though, she was often out late in the morning, and I had gotten up late after last night's excursions, and I found myself looking forward to the promise of Faerlain's visit all day.

But the problem with expectations is that crushing disappointment you get when they don't happen as you would like. And as much as I questioned it, Faerlain didn't come that day. Mirlaic didn't come home until long after I had fallen asleep, and I heard nothing of Faerlain.

Not one thing.

* * *

He wasn't there the next day either, or the next. I felt hurt and rejected as I sat by my window gazing out into the street. I had seen Mirlaic only moments in the early morning, dashing to and fro, grabbing herbs and bandages off the shelved. I assumed someone must of had an emergency, which wouldn't have been uncommon. But it meant I was alone as I wallowed in my disappointment and wondered what had happened to keep him away like this.

I knew we hardly knew each other, but already I missed the sound of his laughter and that quiet twinkle in his eyes. Maybe it was infatuation, but all I knew what that being around Faerlain was coming up for air after swimming for a while. He gave me my breath, filled me with life. I had missed that feeling and he had brought it back for me.

When Mirlaic came home that night, I discovered that Faerlain had come down with the fever I had predicted, and had been ill the past few days. She apologized for not telling me before and causing me to worry, but he had been in a bad way for a while due to the poison.

She hadn't been able to stay long and after leaving me with a few instructions for any emergencies that might arise in her absence, she was gone again. My disappointment was lessened by the knowledge that he had been ill, not avoiding me. But then concern over-weighed my temporary relief. After one meeting I missed him already and I prayed fervently that he would be all right.

* * *

Mirlaic was out of the house all week attending him. I took care of the flet while she was gone. Two young elves cut themselves after falling out of a tree and after a quick visit and some healing ointment later, I sent them on their way with smiles on their faces.

Mirlaic told me I couldn't go to see him, that he had something contagious as a result of the infection. Something that I could catch easily due to my 'human nature', as she called it. I managed to get by all right on my own for a while. But my constant worry for Faerlain and my loneliness for Mirlaic kept me up most for most of the nights she was gone. And, five days later, it was the happiest thing I had ever heard when she told me he was going to be fine and was on the mend. And that he had begged Mirlaic to relay his apologies for me for causing me any worry.

Relieved that he was fine, I received the news with a smile. But I positively glowed for the next few days, because he had remembered _me._

And I looked forward to the day I would see him again.

* * *

I was sitting at the table trying in vain to practice some Sindarin phrases Mirlaic had been teaching me when she emerged from her room with a small smile on her face. Her eyes, that bright blue, shined happily as she sat next to me at the table.

"What is it?" I asked in surprise as she smiled broadly.

"I want you to go see Alphril, the old merchant's wife. I think it is time we made you some proper clothes, you are too young to be wearing my old things."

"Clothes?" I asked curiously. I glanced down at the dull dress I had frequented for the past few months. Sure, the thought of new clothing sounded fun- but I was still wary of dresses. And even more wary still of associating with elves I didn't know.

I blushed a little and looked down sheepishly at my paper. "I cannot accept money from you or anything else to trade Mirlaic."

She laughed, "I know, you've told me countless times before. What pride you have! But you live here too, and you help and earn more then your fair share. Besides, I know Alphril's last chickens died in the spring. She would be more then happy to sell you some nice fabric for a few of ours."

"Mirlaic..." I began haltingly, searching for the words to refute her unchecked generosity. But it seems I could not persuade her today as she pulled me happily to my feet with a chuckle and an added bounce in her step.

"Come... you deserve this. You've hardly had any time for yourself since I've been busy with Faerlain. Besides," Her smile broadened. "... the fall festival is on its way. And you should be wearing something lovely for it."

Mirlaic had a way of making anything I did seem like some great favor to someone else. Yes, I had watched the house while she was away, so what? It didn't require that much effort. But she seemed so excited at the prospect of spoiling me that I found I didn't have the heart to put up much of a fight. I wondered for the umpteenth time why she didn't have children of my own. Perhaps that was how she always managed to guilt me into accepting everything she had to offer.

"I'm afraid you shall have to listen to me, Victoria. I grow weary of your senseless bickering and besides," She stroked my cheek tenderly with a tender smile. "... you are the only daughter I shall ever have."

Another reminder that Mirlaic was alone in this world, for reasons she would never explain to me. I smiled weakly and kissed her hand. "You win." I said lightly, throwing up my hands in defeat as she pressed her pouch into my hand. "I honestly don't know why you don't have kids Mirlaic. You'd be a great mother."

She looked down, the joy in her eyes fading slightly and she smiled faintly, "That is a story for another day." She shook her head, as if she shake away her own memories and gestured to the pouch. "Her flet (that was what Mirlaic called the houses around here) is the greenish one with the Star-Flower tree by the front door. Tell her what you want and," She tapped my nose playfully, "no cheating. I will be asking her how your Sindarin was."

I nodded weakly, my Sindarin still sounded stilted and forced. But Mirlaic was rather persuasive and, before I knew it, she was sweeping me towards the door with laughter on her lips and butterflies swarming in my stomach.

I did not bother with a cloak, and I slipped on light shoes on over my bare feet. There was only a few weeks left before the Harvest... which was at the beginning of September. Mirlaic called it, _Yavieba- _and it was, apparently, a big event for the villagers.

I was wearing my soft brown dress again, it had light blue edges and was one of the few dresses I owned. My old clothes had been beyond repair, so Mirlaic had give what she had and had completed a dress or two with some old material of hers. I might not have been royalty... but they were still the nicest dresses I had ever owned.

Though I couldn't say I was thrilled about wearing dresses all the time, it didn't seem like I had much of a choice. But I found I didn't mind so much as the months wore on... they were sort of comfortable really. And female elves never wore stockings... which thrilled me. Stockings were overrated anyway. I started out onto the street and I heard Mirlaic call after me, '_No cheating Victoria.'_ She said jovially in Sindarin.

'_Yes...I won_'_t._' I said haltingly and then I looked back at Mirlaic to make sure I hadn't said anything stupid. She smiled,

'_Get going, it is almost supper time and we should get started on those dresses tonight.'_

I nodded and continued wordlessly into the street, my heart pounding nervously in my chest. It wasn't long after noon and the sun was in a pleasant position in the sky. I wasn't used to being so nervous about such a trivial matter... I was used to be confident. I had competed nationally across the country with Talorta and I could usually handle my nerves without trouble. All that had changed when Zach had died. I had never met Alphril... and I wasn't sure how exactly she would react to my presence there. Despite Mirlaic's reassurances, I was still nervous. I walked as slowly as I could as I approached Alphrils' flet and, upon reaching the door, I knocked loudly upon it.

'_Do not bang it down! A few taps is all I need.'_ I heard Alphril say from within as she soundlessly crossed the threshold and the door swung open.

'_Greetings Alphril.'_ I said slowly and she looked up at me in surprise. '_My name is-'_

'_You are Victoria? Mirlaic's ward?' _She said, smiling broadly. Alphril's eyes were a cloudy grey, and I knew somehow at a first glance that she was older then my adoptive mother. Also dark-haired, she was slightly shorter then Mirlaic with sharper cheekbones and pointed ears that seemed to disappear within her long dark tresses. She extended her arms to me and pulled me into a warm embrace, laughing. '_Mirlaic was always so full of surprises! What a wonder you are my dear I must thank you for taking such good care of my son... Mirlaic said If you hadn't helped him-.'_ She paused, looking me up and down with bright eyes. '_Mirlaic has taught you our language then?_'

'_Some of it... just don_'_t speak to fast.'_ I said haltingly, then I paused, thinking carefully about each word as the merchant's wife eagerly gestured for me to come inside. '_Did you say I helped your son?'_

She bobbed her head as she motioned me inside. '_Yes, yes, of course! Didn't Mirlaic tell you? I don't know what he would have done without you.'_

Her words left me speechless as I followed her inside and I found I could hardly pay attention to what she was saying as she pattered about the shop.

'_What did Mirlaic send you over here for? Surely not to humor the likes of an old elf like me.' _Alphril didn't look the age her eyes stated. She wore a simple brown dress, similar to the one I myself wore, except there was no blue trim. She moved gracefully...like a swan. But then again, all the elves seemed to move like they were floating on the clouds themselves. '_What can I get you?'_

'_Some cloth, Mirlaic thinks I ought to have a few new dresses.' _I said sheepishly, still hardly following what she was saying. Good Lord! She spoke so fast, I could hardly catch the words in between her breaths. Her son? I had helped her son? I felt flustered as I struggled to interpret what she was saying. Feeling both embarrassed and shamed by my own stupidity.

She showed me some dazzling material, which she kept along a wall in the back of her store room. There was a door further back that led to the rest of her house. But this room, this front room, was lined with every sort of provision the villagers could ever need. She chatted with me all the while as I tried to keep up with her musical string of words.

My eyes flew over the material, some colored dark violet, some redder then blood, but most were the colors of earth: tans, browns, light greens and sky blues. All were amazingly beautiful- and they distracted me temporarily from keeping up with her flying conversation. But in the end I choose a simple light blue, tan, and green.

'_What will you use in payment?'_ She said as she wrapped the fabrics up.

'_Mirlaic said you were looking for some chickens?" _I replied, still trying to figure out whom I had helped who was related to her. Sure, something about Alphril looked familiar, but I couldn'tr figure out what exactly.

'_Chickens would be wonderful... I think two would be sufficient. I_'_ll have my son follow you back. He hasn't been around here in a few years, and though I find it unlikely he's forgotten Mirlaic's cottage. He was there many times in his youth but you should accompany him all the same.'_

I frowned, it wasn't like I didn't trust Alphril... she was actually quite a pleasant person to talk to. '_Son?' _I asked, still confused and feeling quite dense.

'_Yes I told you dear, he's ever so thankful you were there to help him. Mirlaic said you saved his life. Imagine if he'd been out in the woods alone? Foolish boy... so stubborn, just like his father. He was sent home on sick leave... but he will be home for the harvest.'_ She sighed contentedly as she handed me my package. '_Now if only my daughter, Araviniel, would come home- it would be like old times.'_ She shook her head, '_Don't listen to me... go on outside, I will call him. He's out with that fool horse of his right now.'_

I nodded my thanks dazedly and clutched the package to my chest. '_Thank you.' _I said hesitantly, still not sure what exactly she was talking about.

She waved me off. '_Anytime, Victoria, anytime. You must come visit me soon- and show me what those dresses look like as soon as you_'_ve finished them.' _She paused thoughtfully. '_You know, they_'_d go very well with your eyes. You've lovely blue eyes.'_ I smiled.

'_Farewell then.'_

'_Farewell.'_ She smiled before turning to someone who'd appeared at her side.'_There you are, here_'_s Victoria. Now you follow her and go pick up two chicken's from Mirlaic's house.'_

'_Yes Mama.'_

I couldn't see him until he had kissed Alphril and then walked into the street. He was tall, a good head above me. With dark brown hair braided in the common fashion of a warrior. But it wasn't until he turned to me that I realized I had seen him before. His eyes... they were a soft grey... a grey I hadn't easily forgotten.

"_Faerlain?"_ I murmured in disbelief, gawking like a school girl as the tall elf strode over to me and smiled.

"Hello." He said, in the common tongue might I add. And I hadn't heard the language spoken so freely in a long time that it caught me by surprise. Both Mirlaic and Alphril had a slight accent when they spoke it... and his was nearly like my own.

"I'm glad you came." He said, he still looked pale, and his arm was no longer in a sling, though it hung stiffly from his shoulder. "I've been wanting to thank you." He grinned sheepishly. "Apparently I was worse off then I thought."

I smiled despite myself, "Now we're even." I said.

He looked confused for a moment, then he chuckled as he caught my meaning. "Yes... fools we are. Wandering around injured in the forest. Could have attracted the wrong sort of people." He gestured toward the road. "Shall we go?" He asked, offering me his good arm. My eyes boggled, but I couldn't help but accept his offer- feeling like something off a queen as I draped my arm through his own.

We started walking... and I realized that perhaps, when one was assaulted, you can quite possibly be rescued by just the right sort after all.

* * *

Faerlain... _Faerlain..._ the name seemed to roll right off my tongue and felt warm as I tested it in my mind. We talked about everything, the trees, Talorta, how I had enjoyed my stay so far in Gilloth.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." I told him, noting still the dark circles under his eyes. A gentle summer sun warmed my skin and a gentle breeze licked my hair.

"Me too." He replied, glancing with feigned disgust at his shoulder. "It was a foolish mistake... one I don't intend to repeat."

"When did you start to notice how bad it was getting?" I asked, I must admit, I get pretty immersed in this whole healing business now. I found it interesting and refreshing, and Faerlain's cut had been pretty bad off by the time he had gotten here. Which mean it had been festering for some time, especially in light of the knowledge that elves heal rather quickly.

"Promise you won't tell?" He asked lowly, glancing around the street for anyone who might my listening. I smiled and nodded. "I fainted."

My eyes widened and I bit my lip to hold in a giggle. "You _fainted?_"

He nodded gravely. "I woke up with a dreadful headache... I went to go get some water and the next thing I know I'm back in my tent with my commanding officer demanding I take a sick leave." He gestured about him with his good hand. "And now I'm back here... though I must admit, Gilloth isn't quite what it used to be."

"Really?"

"Sure... you're arrival really seems to have livened up the place a bit. We haven't had this sort of excitement in a long time."

I smiled, "Excitement huh? If it's agreeable to you then I'm glad you're enjoying it."

Faerlain laughed, it was a wonderful sound, resplendent. It made you want to smile just by listening to him. He wore a silver colored tunic, with some sort of symbol on the front. He had a sword sheathed to his waist. He wore dark, knee-high boots and his hair was braided in the back. I found that as I talked to him, I just couldn't be bitter or angry... or anything. Not even annoyed at the snobbish people who managed to treat me so coldly here.

"I apologize for the way my people have treated you." He added gently, as if reading my thoughts.

"Don't apologize, it's their mistake, not yours. Besides, between you, your mother, and Mirlaic, that makes three of you who've begun to like me in almost six months."

He laughed, "I can see your making progress."

"I'm not exactly... personable... I suppose."

"I beg to differ, you have a quick and clever tongue, never be ashamed for being what you like."

His words warmed me in a strange way and I felt a blush rising to my cheeks. "Thank you." I paused, questions swirling in my mind and begging to walk right off the tip of my tongue. "I never got the chance to thank you... for saving me. Mirlaic said you were away..."

"I was away... I wanted to see how you were doing, but I had to leave. I was called up again..." He gestured to the symbol on his tunic. "...I've been enlisted for some time now. This year is to be my last." He frowned, as if remembering something unpleasant. "The fighting on the borders..." He shook his head and cleared his throat. "... anyway, I won't be going back until after the harvest."

I honestly didn't know what to say. Faerlain spoke so little about the military... and my ignorance about what he was fighting over made me uncomfortable. Besides... I rather liked Faerlain- I honestly didn't want him to go anywhere, war or no.

We talked all the way back to Mirlaic's, and I found myself surprised when we reached her yard, it had seemed like only seconds for I had enjoyed speaking with Faerlain so much. I showed him where the chickens were kept and helped him catch two and put them in a cage.

I felt like a little girl, romping around the yard catching chickens with a man... erm... _elf_ I hardly knew. Faerlain was still weak from the fever, but we was so much fun! By the time the chickens were caught and I was straightening my dress, I was breathless and the smile on my face seemed to illuminate my whole mood.

"I enjoyed talking with you, Victoria." He said as he shouldered the cage and prepared to leave. I pushed back a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"You make good company. Mirlaic is like a mother to me... but..."

"But?" He asked, a quirky smile spreading across his face.

"But I suppose you wouldn't talk with your mother like this." I said pointedly.

"No... I suppose not." He replied, laughing. "I would like to see you again."

"Well- you can feel free to come and catch chickens whenever you please." It was an absurd comment, but he only laughed.

"No... I think we'll be fine for chickens- thanks." Did he see my face deflate? For some reason I felt a rather disappointed at the thought of not seeing him again.

"But... I heard that horse of yours is getting lazy... would you like to come riding with me sometime?"

My eyes lit up. Could I... could I possibly be _flirting_ with him? A stranger I barely knew? A stranger who had saved my life? "Anytime!" I responded breathlessly, feeling silly but hardly caring.

He smiled again, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I could help you will your Sindarin if you like... it might help you fit in a little more around here until you decide-" He broke off and looked at me expectantly. I knew he was going to say, _until_ _you decide to leave. _

But the thought of leaving just now didn't even appeal to me. "That would be wonderful." And I wasn't lying, I wouldn't mind at all if I saw Faerlain again, again and _soon_.

"What about tomorrow? At the old willow by the stream?"

Hardly knowing where any old willow tree was, I found myself nodding automatically. "Works for me, what time?" I could have burst will excitement, I enjoyed his company. And there was something about those eyes... were they familiar otherwise perhaps? I wasn't sure... I just knew I was looking forward to seeing him again.

"Noon, bring something to eat." He smiled, "Till next we meet."

My stomach did a funny little leap and I nodded helplessly in return. "I'll see you then."

"Good-bye Victoria."

'_Good-bye Faerlain.'_ I said as quickly as I could in Sindarin. Again he gave me that smile and then walked back down the road. I lingered outside the door way, watching him go and then shook my head. I couldn't possibly be acting so flirtatious with someone I hardly knew but... _but what?_

But the feeling of bliss I had felt with him didn't leave. And I found myself awaiting tomorrow with barely anticipated excitement as I entered Mirlaic's flet and closed the door behind me.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. A Mother

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Tolkien's masterpiece, this is only a small contribution to his greatness, and a chance to let loose my imagination. :)

**Chapter Quote:** "_You mortals seem to understand- you envy us for our immortality, while we envy your peace with life at death."_

**Chapter Six**

A Mother

I found I had a little trouble keeping my mind on my chores as I continued the day after my meeting with Faerlain. My mind kept wandering as I reviewed every detail of our conversation. Had I seemed silly? Immature? He was immortal after all... how much older did that make him? Had he enjoyed my company, or had he found me irritating?

And what was my meeting tomorrow considered? A _date?_ Was I really going on a _date?_ My mind refuted the idea. After all, I couldn't _date_ someone who couldn't possibly be real... right? Sometimes, I'd feel a slight pang of guilt when I thought about what awaited me at home and that I was having such a good time while my parents were probably worried sick. But could I hardly help it? I'd been here for months now, and I had no idea how to get back home. So what else could I do?

Besides, I had buried memories of my home so deep inside of me that, sometimes, I could pretend I had always lived in this place- this place of fantasies that seemed to have appeared from a dream. Maybe I would never leave... but was that all that bad? I wasn't homesick. In fact I didn't miss home much at all.

* * *

Mirlaic kept eyeing me curiously with an amused smile on her face that night as we ate supper. "Did you find material that you liked?" She asked me, using my own language for my benefit.

I didn't look up right away from my plate, how much had she heard? "Alphril said I found flattering colors, and I love the material I chose."

"Good, good." She said slowly, she glanced up at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "So... Faerlain is up and about is he now? I believe I told that boy at least a few days of bedrest, but he was always so stubborn."

I smiled as I recalled how he'd blushed under my administrations in the forest days before. Stubborn, yes, but not obstinately so. "I could believe that." I sipped the steaming tea Mirlaic had prepared for me. "He walked me home." I set the cup down and shook my head, half-smiling. "You know, I think besides you, Alphril, and Mirlaic; no one in this village will speak to me."

"At least they tolerate your presence." Mirlaic said cheerfully.

"I guess that's a blessing."

She sighed as she shook her head. "I know that adjusting to our way of life has not been easy for you, Victoria. But you should be pleased that they acknowledge you. We are a people immersed in tradition. Almost all of us grew up in this village, and we have never been especially used to strangers, or especially trusting of them." She looked up at me and smiled. "Don't worry, they one day they will come to love you as I do."

I smiled and said nothing, turning my attention to my plate. A moment of silence passed between us and then Mirlaic cleared her throat. "I was wondering though my dear, would you like me to pack anything for your little outing tomorrow?"

I nearly choked on the meat I had been chewing as my eyes widened. I quickly gulped down some water to wash it down. "You _heard _us?"

"Of course _iell_, you giggle rather loudly."

"I do-" Then I paused mid-sentence of my indignant reply as I recalled how I had laughed when I had seen Faerlain scrambling all over the yard in an attempts to catch a chicken. My face flushed hotly.

"For a human of course." She cleared her throat and batted her eyelashes at me. "_Feel free to come catch chickens whenever you please_."

I smiled weakly and she could hardly breathe through her laughter. "Come," She managed through her soft chuckles. "Let us get cleaned up and started on your dresses."

The Mirlaic's flet was silent as we sat outside on her front porch as night settled, silencing the village and the surrounding forests. The gentle summer breezes warmed us, but it was always slightly chilly at night in Gilloth- Mirlaic said it had something to do with the trees. And such trees they had in Gilloth... the Star-Trees. We watched as the flowers started to sparkle a shimmering silver until the entire forest and the village was encircled with a stunning replication of a star-lit sky. It was beautiful.

I suspected that Mirlaic had not just gotten me material for my dresses without some reason... but I did not intend to interrogate her generosity. I instead sat quietly at her feet by the fire as she diligently she taught me how to begin working on my dresses.

During the past months, we had become close. I suspect this was due in part because I had no one else to speak to until now. But I think it was also due to the face that she seemed to like me so much. I imagined that Mirlaic must have been lonely before I had come to her, and I wondered why she had never married.

Mirlaic sat on the steps and I was cross-legged on the grass, watching the flowers glow dance in the evening din. My needle and thread lay limply in my lap as I stared dreamily at the trees. "You seem to be making good progress Victoria." Mirlaic said, chuckling and pushing a stray lock of her dark hair behind her pointed ears.

I jerked from my revere and looked dumbly at the material in front of me. "It is all right, I had no expectations to finish these tonight." She said, smiling fondly at me.

I looked up at her, setting the material down in my lap. "You're so patient with me." I said, smiling softly. I looked up into her face, "You would have made a wonderful mother."

She paused from her needlework and a gentle smile formed on her face. "I always wanted to be one, that is one of the reasons I am so glad to have found you. Sometimes I pretend you are mine." She frowned suddenly and glanced quickly at my face. "Do you mind?"

I shook my head quickly, quenching her nervousness. "Not at all, I miss my mother... sometimes." I hesitated. "The way I left... it's just hard to think about her." I shrugged, "Sometimes I miss her...and other times-" I left my sentence unfinished. I didn't want to think of my mother, father, or dead brother for that matter. I wanted nothing to ruin this night, and my past felt heavy on heart. She nodded knowingly, though she couldn't completey hide the sadness in her eyes.

"I take care of my people." She said softly. "That is enough."

"But, I mean... you are _wonderful_, Mirlaic. Didn't you ever find someone? Your prince charming?"

She stopped again and set the fabric and needle down in her lap. She smiled and exhaled with a soft, regretful sort of sigh. "Yes... I did. A long time ago."

She didn't continue and I tapped my hand impatiently on her knee in a gesture for her to continue. "Well, what happened?"

The twinkling from the flowers danced in her blue eyes. "It is a sad story." She said slowly.

I didn't say anything for a moment. I didn't want to drudge up any painful memories for my adoptive mother... just as I was thankful she didn't drudge up any of mine.

But she continued, softly, in almost a whisper at first. "It was a long time ago...I was still but a maiden. I shall never forget the day when a messenger brought us tidings that the Queen had delivered her first son. A son she had called, _Legolas_. My two sisters and I were all in an uproar, and we, along with half the village, hurried out to reach the palace to see him."

Mirlaic sighed. "There were so many Elves... more then I had ever seen before...

"_From all over Mirkwood they had come. All wanting to see the new Prince. It was there I saw Tatharion for the first time. He was a guard, standing tall and proud at the gates. At that moment, I thought I had never seen anyone so handsome."_

"_I had gotten lost, my sisters were somewhere in the crowd and I was frightened at the prospect of being so alone. I sat on the steps and began to cry when I heard someone draw near. He was tall, with shining brown hair and hazel eyes. He smiled kindly as he looked down at me and he said, 'Why do you weep fair maiden?' I was so shocked he would speak to me so that my tears stopped. I answered slowly, 'I have lost my sisters, we were separated in the crowd.' He offered his hand and said I could stay with him and that they would find me soon. He sounded so confident, so true... that I found I could not say no."_

Mirlaic blushed and glancing at me as her eyes came alive with her memories. "We got lost in the moment and we talked for hours. He took me to the gardens and to the palace library- we didn't return until someone said that Prince Legolas was soon to be brought forth. He stood proudly at the gates while I waited by the steps, and the crowd hushed as the Queen brought the baby out. He was so small, with golden locks... just like his mother."

Again Mirlaic blushed, which was rather amusing since elves usually seemed so confident and unapproachable."I have to admit I found I could not pay much attention to the newborn babe just then for I was too busy watching Tatharion. My sisters found me later. But before I had a chance to say good-bye, he had gone."

I sat upright, my eyes wide with shock. "Mirlaic, that's tragic." I breathed, recalling how receiving no word from Faerlain had upset me.

She shook her head, bading me to quiet myself while she continued. "I was so distressed when we returned home that I fell ill and was bedridden for the next few days. I told my sister, Ana, about Tatharion and the next day who should walk into my room but him! He was dressed in a plain brown tunic... and his hair was pulled back and braided in the customary fashion of a warrior."

"He stood in my door way... and he smiled at me and my breath seemed stole away. He was carrying a bouquet of Star-Flowers and he handed them to me with a smile. He stayed all afternoon, though I never found out just how he found me, and he came back every day till I was well again. We saw each other almost every day after that. He lived in a village only a few miles away, and he'd get up at dawn _every_ morning to come see me. We decided we would like to marry, and my parents both agreed whole heartedly. Everything was going so perfectly, I thought I had strayed into a dream."

Mirlaic paused, clearing her throat, tears slowly forming in her eyes. "Tatharion was called away to the palace when news reached him of a threat on our southern borders. He told me we would marry as soon as he returned. Later, it was discovered that our army had been attacked and that many soldiers had died. Many of the village men rode out to see if it was true... they returned carrying the bodies of elves, not many in number but..." Mirlaic's voice broke and her words were regretful as she continued.

"Tatharion was one of them. He was so ill, and even when his wounds had healed, he did not regain his strength. One day, he took me to a willow tree by the old stream and told me that only Valinor could bear him peacefully. He told me that I should live out my life here before I came to him when I was ready. His words broke my head, and the next day before I could protest- he was gone. "

Now Mirlaic stopped altogether and started to sew again. Silence reigned for several minutes before I interrupted "That was it? You stayed here?"

"Obviously I stayed here little one." She said with a sad sort of smile. "He said he would wait and I await the day when I will be able to see him once more." She looked around at the village, " I found I was not ready to leave this place, just as he said. These people... they needed me. And I have tried to take care of them as if they were my own children." She fondly touched my cheeks. "So you see... I have had practice as a mother- and I will have an eternity to spend with Tatharion when I am ready to pass over." She nodded slowly, "But, I am glad I stayed _iell_- how else would I have met you?"

I found I was speechless as I watched her resume her needle-work, so peaceful and content as if her life had been a fairy-tale, and not the tragedy she had told me. "I don't think I'd have the patience to wait for something like that." I said quietly.

"Ah... but some of the best things in life are those we wait for. Sacrifice is a part of true love. And anything worth having is difficult to obtain, everything has a place- each thing has it's time."

She _was _good at this whole 'mother' thing. "If I never find my way home, Mirlaic, I don't think I shall mind terribly. You have been so kind to me."

"You will see one day that the life you lived was a blessed one- your life could not have been so terrible... or else you would not miss it so."

I blinked in surprise... but then again, she did not know about Zach. Did I really miss home so much that she had noticed?

"But you will understand one day why I do not regret not crossing with Tatharion. Elves have so much time in which to live for. You mortals do not seem to understand- you envy us for our immortality, while we envy your peace with life at death."

"Our lives go on like a continuous dance- we can only hope to step in time with the tune and to hope we can complete it. But when the song is over- it is time for us to go home. And we find we dance to the same tune over and over. Yet so often we wish to linger. And, occasionally, we wonder if we ever truly _lived_. Our dance may become perfected, but is it even enjoyable then?"

"You see, that is what you mortals understand. The Dance does not lose it's beauty for you. You enjoy it to it's fullest. When it is over, well, there is only a new one to begin. I think that's what I envy most about your kind, the unknown adventure -death- is only a part of the dance." She paused, tapped my nose with her finger. "When you understand that, child, I do not think you will ever regret that you began... and that you truly lived to dance it."

"Death is not something to fear, nor is uncertainty or the promise of a new tomorrow. It is only a part of life- a life I hope you come to accept one day."

My talk with Mirlaic kept me up most of the night, and I found myself thinking about Tatharion. Her love lay across the sea in Valinor, she had told me about it once before, Valinor. It was the final resting place for Elves. She made death seem... _inviting_. Not something to be dreaded at all.

But she was immortal... death did not come for her people. I had seen firsthand how the wounded from the battle had unsettled the villagers. How did she, or any of them, deal with loss? How did any of them deal with death? How could they understand the feelings I felt when I thought of home? Of the emptiness that had reigned over my heart when I realized that my brother, my friend, was truly gone?

All night as I laid in bed I wondered if my fate was truly the blessing Mirlaic had described. Because for me, death meant pain, suffering, and separation. And it had become something of a curse.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	7. Faerlain

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Tolkien's masterpiece, this is only a small contribution to his greatness, and a chance to let loose my imagination. :)

**Chapter Quote:** "_Two lovers."_

**Chapter Seven**

Faerlain

* * *

Mirlaic gave me a small basket the next day as I prepared for my lessons with Faerlain. Talorta seemed excited at the prospect of going out for a ride, and I found myself nervous as I mounted him and set out for the old willow tree. It was easy to find. There were few trees other then the Star-Trees within the borders of Gilloth. And there was only one willow tree. It's picturesque spot seemed predestined, as if it had been planted there for just such an occasion. Talorta set out at a slow trot, and I tried nodding and smiling to people as I rode past them.

I wondered if their solemn faces were a good sign. I mean... they're weren't jeering at me after all. And they weren't _racist_... just wary I think, as Mirlaic had said.

It was lovely out, the sun shining through the trees and warming me as Talorta and I continued down a beaten path towards the meeting place Faerlain had instructed me to find. The willow tree was quite large actually. Its long, leafy branches stretched out over the stream. It produced some shade just before the forest opened up into a small clearing on the opposite side of the stream. And there, standing beneath it, was Faerlain. His beautiful grey mare was tethered in the clearing. He was watching the river with such a contemplative look on his face that I almost didn't want to disturb him. He was so handsome... so charming. I wondered if I would wake up once we began our ride together. Could anyone be so _perfect_?

He looked up as I approached and I swept a stray lock of brown hair away from my face. I felt breathless and excited as I halted Talorta next to him, he grinned at me.

"I'm glad you found this place all right."

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long." I said, slightly flustered as those grey eyes met mine.

"Not at all- I arrived a little early." He gestured to the forest. "Have you been exploring much?"

"The only time I left the village borders was when I met you." I blushed slightly at the memory. "But I hadn't really been paying attention."

"Well that's good." He said jovially. "I'm here in one piece, and you'll have no objections to the ride I have planned." He had a suddenly mischievous look on his face that I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh? And _should_ I have any objections?"

"I hope not." He replied, mounting his mare and turning her towards the forest. "Come, lets go further in."

I complied with a smile and nudged Talorta into a trot after him as Faerlain's mare started off into the forest. We set a simple pace as he introduced to me a part of his world that I had never seen before. We talked the whole time- about our lives, our families.

Maybe I was dreaming, but the flowers seemed to give the forest a quality of paradise. Everything was perfect... everything seemed to glow with a beauty and peacefulness that I had never felt before. The forest was a beautiful place... and I could hardly imagine Faerlain fighting somewhere far away in a part of it that was supposed to be so dark and dangerous. When, at the same time, I seemed to have strayed into a fairy-tale. We stopped in a grove of Star-Trees for lunch. The horses grazed while we ate and I found that I enjoyed myself more thoroughly then I had in a long, long time.

We returned to the willow tree after our meal was finished, where he produced a sack of books. Pulling one out the first, he sat down on a patch of green grass by the riverbank. Gesturing to the grass opposite of him, I let Talorta follow Faerlain's mare and I sat beside him.

"Shall we begin?" He asked.

I sat beside him and he handed the book to me. It was written in the Elvish... something I hadn't quite mastered. I ran my fingers along the spine- tracing the embossed letters with my fingers. "It's lovely." I said, opening the book and squinting slightly at the pages in an effort to make out the letters. Mirlaic had begun to teach me a little about their alphabet... but I had put most of my concentration into just learning to speak her language.

"It will be of more use to you, of course, once you learn how to read it." He said with his deep voice lined thickly with amusement.

I laughed. "If I learn you mean. I'm not exactly a fast learner."

"Well... I have an eternity." He said, grey eyes twinkling with mirth. He looked so much healthier now. Though I noticed any movement he made with his right arm was slightly stiff, he had a healthy glow to his cheeks once more.

I cocked my head impishly. "And I, my dear teacher, have only one afternoon."

"But we can do this again-" He said hastily. And as I raised my eyebrows in surprise, he smiled again. "After all, it will take more then one lesson for you to grasp all of this."

I nodded, trying to contain my giggles with a small smile. "Then you have just gotten yourself a regular student."

I spent most of the day by that stream and, very slowly, I began to learn the ways of theeElves. For not only did Faerlain teach me how to read and write in his language, he also taught me the history of his people. By the day's end I regretted having to leave.

'You're a good teacher.' I said slowly in his language and he smiled.

"You are foolish to let my tongue wander so freely. When should we meet again?"

"Tomorrow?" I asked hopefully as I mounted Talorta, my cheeks flushed pleasantly as I caught his gaze.

"Tomorrow." He confirmed with a nod and a smile.

I hardly realized when Talorta started off towards home- for my thoughts were otherwise occupied by fleeting dreams of a handsome elf and the musical tone of his voice.

Nearly every day for almost two months we met for our lessons. Faerlain's company was stationed a ways off, and several soldiers had been sent home to assist with the upcoming Harvest. The threat from the borders had died down, so the general mood of everyone in the village was much more relaxed then it had been.

As for me, I could barely concentrate on making my dresses at night, or any task Mirlaic had me do for that matter. I became more determined to study _Sindarin_ (which sounds really pretty when you get the hang of it) or to practice my _Tenquar_ letters (The Elvish alphabet, which has the funniest looking letters I've ever seen). Mirlaic never once scolded me and would only smile as I raced to do my chores every day so I could get to the old willow tree in time.

Eventually, I wasn't working on my dresses at all and could have cared less if I ever finished them. The material remained unfinished in the bedroom Mirlaic had given to me, and my presence at home grew to be less and less as I spent my days racing through the forest with Faerlain and learning everything he could teach me.

I would finish my work every morning, then leap on Talorta- squeezing his sides and urging him on as he galloped through the streets and to the river. Talorta liked Faerlain- and he liked Faerlain's mare even more, who's name was Mithroch. I wondered if she would have been having a foal next year- since Talorta seemed to be spending a lot of unsupervised time with her. That was a thought to chew on.

I was fascinated with Elvish culture and if ever I had a good friend, Faerlain was the best. Soon he began teaching me how to use a bow. (Per my request... it just looked like so much fun) I started hiking up my skirts or pinning it up around my legs when we went riding or walking through the woods. Either way, my ideas about proper behavior and my sense of fashion weren't exactly ladylike as he told me one day through a spasm of laughter.

The forest, the river, the old willow tree were our secret haven... neither of us had to face reality of our lives while we were there. It was just the two of us... me and Faerlain. Through that we found a sense of peace. I didn't have to worry about the life I couldn't return to at home, or the rejection I faced by the villages.

I could always be myself around Faerlain, and my 'eccentric' qualities never once caused a frown crease his elegant face. But such fantasies can never last- no matter how magical.

I was reminded of the life I needed to live one day at the end of our second month together. Rumors raced through the village like wild-fire, but I found I could care less what the people thought or said. It wasn't as though I sought their acceptance very much anyway.

It happened very subtly. As I hurried about preparing to leave early one morning, I was stopped by Mirlaic. Her voice was firm as she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, stilling my frantic movements.

"Victoria, we have to harvest today." I blinked in surprise, where had the time gone? Already it was mid October... and they leaves had begun to change their color. She searched my eyes. "I need you home- you can resume your lessons after the harvest is in. But for now, I'll need your help. All the villagers are expected to aid with the crop and, believe it or not, you are apart of this place now- mortal though you are."

I frowned, "But Faerlain will be waiting for me-"

She pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me and said, "Perhaps... it was best if you took a break from your lessons for a while... aye?"She said gently. She planted a kiss on my forehead. "The knowledge will be waiting for you afterwards- and you shall see Faerlain during the harvest."

She patted my cheek and went to make breakfast. But that simple conversation left me speechless, and I stood still by the door of our flet for quite a while- feeling numb and mute. It was in that one sentence, that one... _reminder_... That I realized that the fragile glass around my dream world had shattered.

In all rationality, there was nothing the matter with pausing with our lessons to resume after the harvest. Mirlaic and the villagers needed my help... but it was then that I realized something. That these lessons I had been having with Faerlain- weren't simply that.

Had I been so blind? So foolish to think that's all they were... games I played with him? But then what were they? I would miss our meetings by the river- no matter how long or short the harvest work would take. And it wasn't because of what I was learning in Faerlain's books- it was because what I was learning about Faerlain.

I liked him... maybe I felt more for him that simple affection. The thought of missing our lessons hurt me deep inside and filled me with an inner sense of longing. But what did that mean? Because I couldn't possibly fall in love with this place... I couldn't fall in love with him.

Love had hurt me too much... and I couldn't give my heart so freely to someone who might not be there when I awoke. If this place had been a dream... it had changed to a nightmare within seconds.

And I realized, we wouldn't always be able to escape our lives and run to the old Willow tree, because there wasn't always going to be an old willow tree... and there wouldn't always just be the two of us.

He was immortal... and I knew from then on that the magic about our time together would never be the same

I didn't tell Mirlaic I would be gone... I didn't tell anyone for that matter. I slipped out and mounted Talorta before she was done cooking our meals for the day. I didn't ask Talorta to gallop to the river. Instead we walked, slowly- very slowly. I knew Faerlain wouldn't be there. He was helping Alphril with the harvest- just as I should be helping Mirlaic.

But I couldn't think of the harvest just now, only thoughts of Faerlain and my brother swirled around in my mind. Both marked a severe difference to me... both held my heart, and both now threatened to break it. One by his life, and the other by his death.

The water sparkled in the sunlight as I slid off Talorta's broad back. Even the leaves of Mirkwood changed color and died, only the Star-Flowers remained immortal like the people who loved them so. Mirlaic had once said, the death of the forest marked a period of renewal for the people of Gilloth- a time before heavy snows blanketed the country until late April. Mirlaic told me that autumn was one of the few seasons in which the forest didn't seem so foreboding. Honestly, I didn't understand their fear of the place.

I was once enraptured by it's beauty, and I once thought nothing could ever harm me in this dream world. But now I knew better.

Suddenly everything came back to me in a continuous flow. My parents, the farm, and I realized how much I had changed. In the Spring, I would have been here for a whole year. One whole year. What had happened to those I had left behind? Was I in a sort of Purgatory? Did my parents now mourn the loss of two children?

How I missed the way my life used to be- when Zach was still alive and everything had been so simple. Immortality had it's advantages: elves had years to change their mistakes, elves didn't die. They didn't break the hearts of those whom loved them by a painful parting. One riddled with mystery and dread, the great unknown chasm of death.

I felt a longing for my brother then that I hadn't felt since that first day he had gone. I had learned, the hard way, that loving someone meant taking a risk, making a sacrifice. How then had I given my heart so freely to another? To someone who might not even be real?

Faerlain would never suffer the pain that I would... because death meant that someone you loved _never_ came back. No matter how much you cried or longed for them. And I, unlike Faerlain, would one day die.

I sat by the river, watching the water flow past. The leaves had already started to turn, beginning their dance of death to the ground. My tears were swept with the ongoing tide. Death was a dance to Mirlaic, as was life. But to me, it was a curse, something to be despised and hated. Because I realized that it was my fate, but not his.

No... Faerlain would live, and live on and on- until my name was only a whisper on the wind. A memory faded and frayed with time.

I stood, Talorta watched me curiously, his ears pricked. Elves could dance, and so could I. And I did. I danced to the flow of the rives, the rippling water on the rocks, the wind in the trees, in the grass. The laughter coming from the village. I danced my own dance of death.

And I cried.

I cried till my tears blinded me and I stumbled, landing hard on my knees and hands. I sobbed, covering my face with my hands. Why was I in this strange world? If it was not real... why was I allowed to love? I didn't understand and nor did I want to. I stood again, trying in vain to dance once more- only to stumble and fall again. But this time my scraped hands and bruised knees didn't hit the ground again. This time, two strong hands caught me by the shoulders and pulled me up to my feet.

"Victoria?"

I looked up, my tears subsiding long enough for me to see whom had caught me. It was Faerlain. His tunic was soiled, bearing the tell-tale signs of a hard days work, bearing smudges of dirt of his face. I glanced up at the sky, feeling rigid as he held me tightly. Where had the day gone? Already dusk was settling upon the earth, darkening the forest.

"Mirlaic sent me to look for you." He glanced over my disheveled appearance. "What are you doing here?" His voice held surprise and concern. "What is the matter?"

I pulled away from him, still sobbing and hating myself for it. I had never cried in front of anyone before...not even when Zach died. It was a sign of weakness to me, and I did not have a weakness. Vulnerability would mean that I could be hurt again- I didn't want to ache like this anymore.

"What's wrong? _Everything_'_s_ wrong!" I cried, stamping my foot angrily. "Why did you become friends with me Faerlain? Why did you allow me to play these...these _games_?"

"They were not games Victoria. You have become a treasure to me-" He said in evident surprise.

"Yes they _were_! Even now I can't tell what reality is anymore. Who am I to believe? The explanations of strangers?" I met his grey gaze. "The fluttering of my heart? I can't-" I broke off and turned away from him, for the confusion in his face pained me. Could he not see... that I couldn't love a dream? Someone who might vanish in my arms with any moment? With any breath that I took?

"Victoria," He said gently, nearing me again."Of course I am real." He said, reaching out to me."What is this about?"

I stomped again, glaring up at him. "Why did you let this happen? How could you let me..." And then I froze. I couldn't even say it, for the words had only struck me suddenly. I had barely known Faerlain but a few months- and for all I knew, everything about this world could disappear with a sigh.

"Let you what Victoria?" He asked softly, stepping closer to me and lifting up my chin to gaze into my eyes. I felt lost as I stared back into his, lost, helpless, and weak.

_How could you let me fall in love with you?_ I thought fiercely, but I found I lacked the courage to say it out loud, and I remained silent.. Yes, I had. It was a bit of a shock, but I knew it was true. _I had fallen in love with Faerlain_. His eyes widened for a moment, his brows raised as if he too had realized it for the first time, and like me, didn't know what to do. For the first time since I had met him, Faerlain was speechless. No smile returned my accusations, no words escaped his lips. He only stared at me, stared and I found I could not draw myself away from him.

"I didn't understand it until today." I continued softly. "But none of this can be real. None of it could _ever_ be real." I backed away from him, shaking my head and smiling regretfully. "Death haunts me like a plague, Faerlain. I am mortal... you are an elf. And I thought... I hoped..." But confusion had risen up in my chest and I couldn't pull my mangled thoughts together. Tears cut me off once more and I whirled away from him no longer able to speak. _I had hoped you would make everything right again. That your immortality could save me from myself... from an inevitable fate that I feared so. _

Faerlain didn't say anything for a long time, and I literally felt my heart tearing into pieces. Torn between what I was... and what I wished to be. And more importantly, what I knew _never_ could be. That us being just 'friends' hadn't worked... and that he had stolen my heart away. I was so new to this life here, and he had taken me captive to a place where I could not escape. I was a prisoner of this place and I wondered, if presented the choice, if I would have the strength to leave.

"Victoria, please listen to me." I felt his hands on my shoulders as he turned me around. "I never dreamed this would happen." He said earnestly, his eyes searching my own."When I met you, you were so full of fire and life... I enjoyed your company. I felt honored to count you as my friend." He hesitated, "I never wanted... never _intended_ to hurt you."

"I can't do this again." I whispered. _I want to always be friends with you. I never want to lose you... like I lost Zach_. My words also made me realize something else, my affection for him had run deeper then I even knew, and I was terrified of losing him. I pictured my brother's face for the first time in months, and the force of it reopened old wounds that had never really healed.

Had I spoken aloud? Had I voiced my thoughts? I wasn't sure... but Faerlain didn't say anything. He pulled me into his arms as he embraced me tightly. I sobbed shamelessly on his shoulder, releasing tears that should have been cried a long time ago. He caressed my back until no more tears would come and we stood silently, holding one another. He tilted my head upward and looked into my face, his eyes sad. "I do not know what words to say that would comfort you. I _don't _know how-" He shook his head, drifted off.

I could not bear the look I saw in his face. It was one of pain and sorrow, intermingled with regret. "I do not ever want to hurt you, and I never will." He said softly. I could feel his warm breath on my hair, my skin, and I felt such an ache in my heart I thought I might die. But if what I was kept us from being together, then at least Faerlain could always be there for me. I wanted to stand there forever with him, but reality hit me again full force and took hold of me once again.

_I do not have forever with you- for even the best of dreams come to an end._

I broke his embrace gently, immediately missing the warmth from his body. I stepped away but before I moved far he caught my hand. "Mirlaic was worried about you- I'll bring you home."

"She will have been looking for me." I agreed, hugging my arms to my chest. I pulled myself onto Talorta and said nothing as Faerlain swung up behind me. I felt and saw nothing as Talorta started the walk home. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his breathing- I imagined a life I could never have with him, and my eyes watered.

I helped me down once Talorta stopped and I walked slowly to the house. "Friends?" I heard him asked softly. I turned to him, he stood by Talorta, my horse's nose on his shoulder, nibbling him. Did he fear loss as I did? Could he even know how I felt?

Did I dare take another risk? What else could I afford to lose? But, in foolishness or bittersweet regret, I smiled weakly at him and nodded. "Yes."

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"We have to harvest tomorrow. Of course you shall." I said, I was by the door now, my right hand touching the door handle.

"But after that... will you come back?"

I looked at the ground, and then slowly to his hand which still gripped mine. And finally to his face, his grey eyes, his depth less grey eyes bore into me. I wanted to turn away but found that I could not.

"I think so." I whispered, suddenly breathless.

"I shall tell you next the tale of Luthien and Beren." He replied with that smile I had grown to love so much. But he was sad... I knew he was sad.

"Oh?" I asked curiously. "What is that about?"

"Two lovers." He said simply, not saying more.

I chuckled ruefully. "Your calling was a scholar Faerlain, not a soldier."

"Not all of us fulfill what we are called to do. Sometimes the dreams we cherish never occur out of the love we have for others." He looked imploringly into my face. "You will come?"

My throat tightened, I felt tears burn in my eyes once more. Still managing a weak smile, I nodded. Then I fled from him into the flet, with my heart breaking in two.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	8. Harvest

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing of Tolkien's work. So let's all be happy and dance.

**Chapter Quote: **"Ah, you are young. Tonight is for _you_."

**Chapter Eight**

Harvest

* * *

I didn't tell Mirlaic about my dance by the old willow tree- or my night with Faerlain. She didn't question my disappearance and I felt no inclination to explain it to her. I couldn't. I was confused and heartsick- and never have I felt guiltier about anything in my entire life.

She bade me to eat something the next morning when I awoke- not asking any questions. It was the second day of the Harvest, and we would work all day bringing in the crops for winter.

And even though I said nothing, I could feel her eyes, and somehow I think she knew something was wrong- more wrong then I would let on. I was glad she didn't ask about yesterday, for even if she had- I don't think I would have been able to answer them.

Though she was close to me now, no one could take the place that should have been my mother's. And if it had been my mother's, I would have never met Faerlain anyway. I would still be home, and thoughts about elves and my own mortality wouldn't be plaguing me.

There were four days of harvest altogether, and the fifth day, the final day, was one in which we would feast and dance all day- sort of like Thanksgiving back home in the States. But I had doubted I would find any joy in the holiday anymore... not since Zach died. It had been our favorite. And I imagined that eating turkey and mashed potatoes wouldn't have the same effect without my brother's laughter and the joy he would bring to my parents' faces.

I was sure to see Faerlain on both days, and I couldn't help but wonder how I would keep my emotions in check? We didn't really talk the previous night... hadn't addressed my feeling for him besides confirming that our friendship had not been completely demolished as of yet. I pressed my hand to my cheek, the one he had held his own. The memory held a warmth that I could not explain. Mirlaic gave me a curious glance.

"Victoria?" She asked. I looked up into her wise, beautiful face. "Anything you want to talk about?"

I hesitated, then shook my head. I could not find it in my heart to tell her, that even though I loved her, and this place, I was miserable. And always would be. It hurt to much to think on what had happened by the old Willow tree, and I found I lacked the courage to tell her my heart. That I knew, that no matter what happened, I would never belong here.

That I was destined to pain.

Before long I was being gently shaken awake by Mirlaic. Her eyes were merry, though slightly concerned. "Are you all right _iell_? It is time for the harvest."

I nodded and quickly slipped into a faded brown work dress. We ate hurriedly, then started out for our field. Elves are not natural farmers and rely on mostly hunting for food. But corn helps during the winter months so they picked it up over the last few hundred years or so. One field was allotted to everyone in the village. The size of the family would determine how many acres each would own. Mirlaic had about a half acre. But during the harvest, everyone helped each other get the labor done.

After we had finished getting her wheat and corn, we would help other families harvest their own crops. The work was hard, but the reward was much greater. The knowledge that you could grow and harvest your own food filled one with a sense of pride- one that had the tendency to make you turn your back on charity.

Not to mention that the festival that would take place tomorrow afternoon. I didn't see Faerlain in the morning, I was too busy helping Mirlaic pick out corn and shear our wheat. The Elves might be at times arrogant, but they did know how to work together in peace.

After we had the noon time meal, we helped Alphril out with her field, which was larger then ours. I had to work side by side with Faerlain for most of the day- and I discovered that his presence didn't hurt as much as I had thought. Soon we were laughing together as though nothing had ever happened between us. With everyone helping each other, we soon finished the harvest and Alphril invited Mirlaic and I to her flet for the evening meal.

Faerlain and I talked all night and I was pleased to say, our conversation was all in Sindarin. I still had to speak slowly, but I was getting the hang of it. Throughout the day I found that I couldn't look into his eyes without hurriedly looking away, he had been watching me as well. Sometimes I longed to embrace him as we had done before, for him to gather me into his arms and whisper words to comfort my conflicting feelings.

But I couldn't- and neither could he. By the time Mirlaic and I returned to her flet, I was exhausted. I collapsed into bed- thinking dreamily of what the new day would bring. I wondered, was I dreaming the dream of a dream?

Were such things possible?

You know what... I found that I didn't even care. I only wanted to see his face once more. And now I had only to wait for the breath of the dawn to see him again.

We husked corn and packed it all day so when it finally came time for the autumn festival, I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to stay awake.

"Now you must get dressed for the festival. Tonight is for you, not an old badger like me. There will be dances all night long."

I smiled and hugged Mirlaic. "How can you be old? You're the immortal one remember?"

"Ah, and in you being mortal, you are young. Tonight is for _you_."

My hand flew up to my mouth in shock as I recalled something, "Mirlaic, the _dresses_! I've forgotten all about them!"

"I know you did." She said simply. "I did not expect you to finish them." Through this speech she had been fighting back a smile from appearing on her kind face, but now the corners of her mouth creased with mirth. "So I finished them for you. Your head was in the clouds all this time-don't think I haven't noticed. Do not assume age has dulled my senses. Sometimes our greatest trials are those which are the most transparent."

I slowly shut my mouth, narrowing my eyes. Just how much did she _really_ know?

"Well, would you like to see your new dresses?"

I nodded and she took my hand and led me to my room. Laying on the bed was a beautiful dress. Light brown and a soft green. I saw no trace of my unsteady hand or uneven stitches. Leaves were embroidered into the long sleeves which drooped into a point at the hands. "It's beautiful Mirlaic." I breathed, tracing my fingers over the intricate designs.

"Well you should have told me that you do not know how to sew. It took me days to correct those stitches." I didn't know what to say. "Try it on Victoria, don't stand there gaping." She said, chuckling over my astonishment.

So I did, I pulled my soiled work dress off as quickly as I could. Sliding the new one over my head, it fitted to my body like a soft blanket. I twirled, watching the folds of the material swirl about me like flower petals. My eyes shined with excitement as I looked back at her. "I love it Mirlaic."

"You needed something for the festival tonight." She said softly, caressing my cheek. Then a mischievous gleam entered her eyes. "Lets fix your hair. And we can show those Elflings how human girls _really_ clean up."

The Autumn festival was held in the center of the village under the tallest Star Flower Tree. The elves from the surrounding villages came as well, bringing some surplus profit from their own fields. It had been a bountiful year. Everyone gathered to feast and dance well into the night. The elven maids swirled gracefully in the dying sunlight and the handsome elven boys sometimes watched and sometimes danced with them.

Even though I had tried not to let their rejection bother me, I still couldn't help but to be fascinated by them. They all seemed so friendly with each other and I couldn't help but wish that I too was standing with the other young girls giggling, wondering if anyone would see _me_. For the first time, I wished that I I didn't feel like such an outcast. I wished I wasn't so different.

As soon as the final meal was served, Mirlaic shooed me away to the dances. My hair was arranged so that it fell softly on my shoulders, with a crown on leaves woven through my hair, courtesy of Mirlaic of course. The sun had started to set, so in the center of town there was a huge bon fire. From every horse and tree in the village, colorful lanterns glowed brightly in the coming dark.

The elves danced gracefully around it, doing difficult jigs and reels. I found myself clapping and laughing as I watched the others dance along the sidelines, standing with the other elves as they watched the younger ones in the firelight. I received a few polite greetings, but no one asked for a dance. But as I watched their feet fly and the orange flames licking the darkness, I wished, fleetingly, that someone would.

And the someone from my wishes tapped my shoulder, "Enjoying the dancing Victoria?"

I flushed slightly as I turned round to gaze at my friend. "I would have never guessed that elves could dance so well Faerlain." I replied teasingly

He smiled, chuckling. "We consider it a polished skill amongst ourselves, but I bet I know a mortal maiden who could put some of our own to shame."

I held my breath as the music slowed, I could imagine his heart beating as he stood beside me. And his presence was so intoxicating that I felt myself swaying dreamily to the music.

It was like the slow dances at your high school prom. Where, if you were lucky enough, you would rest your head on Mr. Right's shoulder and sway with the music while your heart raced wildly. I hadn't been lucky, I had served snacks and punch all night long at my own.

He leaned his head towards my ear, his breath tickling me. "Shall we dance?" He whispered.

I smiled and shook my head. "I don't think I'd _quite_ fit in."

He took my hand and I met his gaze. He smiled, "Someone as beautiful as you will stand out- which is something I like _much _better."

Before I could protest he had led me into the throng of dancers and slipped his hand around my waist. My senses erupted like fireworks and I was glad the shadows from the setting sun hid my flushed cheeks. "Follow me." He said softly, and I began to move slowly, following his body as he swayed with the music- as a tree sways in the breeze. I could feel the heat from the fire and the warmth of Faerlain's hand pressed into my own. But the music was like the earth, it became one- melding us into perfection.

I swayed with Faerlain and he pulled me closer. And, for a time, I could forget all my fears and my painful desires, and I could love him as if we could always be. I can't remember much of what happened next at all, only that the music became faster. And he began to lead in into a fast jig, similar to Irish tap dancing.

Then his face was gone, and I was swept into a new partner's arms. Again it happened, I had forgotten how much I liked to dance. I smiled and my heart pulsed with the beat. I switched partners again... and again...and again... all of them smiling and laughing with me. The elves along the edges laughed. And then I was with Faerlain again, our bodies moving, flickering like shadows in the firelight.

By the time it was all over, we were laughing and breathless as we clapped and bowed our heads to the musicians as a sign of respect and gratitufe. Faerlain and I somehow found our way back to Mirlaic and Alphril, and after we said farewell, we parted. I shall never forget that night. For I think it was the only time me and Faerlain could toss who we were aside and just have fun.

I don't think either of us felt a pinch of pity for our situation. Not even once. We were just us. And that was better then anything in the entire world.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	9. Winter

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LotR. Only my characters and my plot.

**Chapter Quote:** "_Does 'happily ever after' mean they got married and lived together forever?_"

* * *

**Chapter Nine **

Winter

* * *

The war had gotten worse. How did one know this when an immense forest encircled our tiny village for thousands of miles? Well, the villagers themselves knew. The spiders had seemed to become only more violent of late and were a reason of constant worry on everyone's mind. Including my own, I don't know how many nights I woke up in a cold sweat do to nightmares. Besides that, the orcs had started to invade the woods. Mirkwood's soldiers were constantly on alert, and dreadful rumors of bloody battles were whispered through the surrounding villages until they festered in Gilloth. These, of course, did nothing to alleviate my own fears. 

Once the Harvest was over and the hints of winter bore down upon the village, all the eligible male elves were called up to return to military service. Twenty such elves had returned home for the Harvest within the three villages that made up a thirty mile perimeter. Faerlain was one of these elves.

I had thought our time together would never end. But I could have never dissuaded him from the unflinching loyalty he possessed when it came down to defending all that he loved. Until that day when he had been wounded, the thought of war in a place like this had seemed impossible. Yet now, as I and all the other villagers stood assembled out on the fringes of the forest, this war delt more real to me then ever before.

I found I had nothing to say as I watched Faerlain pack up his own gear and assemble the other elves. He looked so handsome in his elven armor... tall, strong, and invincible. Imagining what that armor would need to protect him from made me shudder with fear. I had no idea what orcs were, or why the villagers were so afraid of the spiders, or why they were even at war. But their fear was contagious, and the unknown is always more terrifying. I felt numbed by that fear as I stood staring, watching him prepare to leave.

At last came the good-byes.

The soldiers said good-bye to their families and friends, Faerlain exchanged a tearful parting with his mother, and then he stepped over to me. I didn't know what to say and I felt an intense terror rise in my chest as the realization hit me that I might never see him again.

With my heart aching with this longing, I ran to him and pressed myself tightly against him. I squeezed my shut tightly against the threat of tears as I felt his arms wrap about me, pulling me firmly against him. I cursed this foreign war that insisted on taking him from me. I cursed the hard, cold armor that separated me from the warmth of his body. But I found I had nothing to say as he slowly released me, holding me from him at arms length. He offered me his gentle smile as he tipped my chin up and looked into my face.

"So... will you miss me? I was getting worried when you didn't say anything."

My eyes burned, but I forced a smile upon my face as I nudged him playfully. "You big oaf..." My smile faded slightly. "Try to come back in one piece?" He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I'll be back before you know it." He said quietly, and I put on the bravest face I could manage.

"I'll hold you to that... I don't have forever you know." He squeezed my arm, and, raising my hand to his face, pressed his lips to my fingers. Then he let go.

"Good-bye." He said, meeting my gaze. He rounded up the others and they mounted their horses. They turned toward the forest and before I knew it, they had gone, riding out of sight beneath the bronzed canopies. I wanted then so badly to tell him just how much I cared for im. How I never wanted to be parted from him. How I loved him.

But he was gone, and my whispered words of tenderness blew away on the autumn wind, unanswered, long after he had disappeared beneath the trees.

* * *

The snows came a week later. It kind of just comes on all of a sudden, winter in Mirkwood. One day, the leaves were still falling, and the next- the world was white. Of course, the Star-Flowers themselves never die, the leaves on the trees do, but the flowers live on. Glowing softly in the darkness at night, beacons in the darkness.

Once the storms really got going, it was dangerous to even leave the house. It was easy to get lost in the forest if you were unlucky enough to miss your destination in the village. For the first week or so, I couldn't go out at all. Even when the snow stopped, the winder blew it in drifts that were past my waist in some places. Which meant that, yes, it was bitterly cold now and the snow was much too deep for me to walk through.

I felt a little stir crazy, cooped up in Mirlaic's flet while most of the elves went about their business, tromping about here and there, _on top of the snow._

Literally, they walked right on top of the stuff, it was amazing! It was like they floated or something... they barely even left footprints. Beside the point that they hardly seemed to feel the cold at all.

I always seemed to be cold now and it was near suicidal to venture out of the flet that first few weeks of winter. When it really got going, the temperature (I imagine) hovered below zero and the visibility was usually less then but a few inches before you. This meant, for a while, I could do little but drift listlessly through the house. I couldn't get my mind off of Faerlain and what dangers awaited him on the battlefield. But most of all I felt explicitly useless, which I hated most of all.

I couldn't venture outside for sometime, so excursions with Talorta were out of the question. Mirlaic found my agitation somewhat laughable I think, thought she'd never say as much. Afterall, what were but a few weeks of inactivity to her? But she had no idea how my mind wrestled with fear, listlessness, and sanity day in and out. And having no where to run to in order to work those troubles out was maddening.

By the time there was a break in the snow storm almost three weeks later, I was practically begging for Mirlaic to give me any errand at all to get me out of the house. Even a little while would be a piece of heaven.

So she gave me a basket with some herbs and soup and sent me over to visit one of her patients, Elenowen. I discovered that she was the wife of Cudir, a good friend of Faerlain's who had also been with him when they had discovered me in the forest. Since Cudir's last leave and impending absence, Elenowen had become _very _pregnant. Mirlaic told me she was due within a month now, and the thought of delivering her first child without her husband was troubling her greatly. I was thrilled to finally have something I could do as I trudged through the snow which was nearly waist high in some places where the winter drafts had blown it into drifts.

Elenowen's flet was practically on the other side of the village. And after hauling my body through the thick snow throughout the tedious trek, I was nearly drenched in sweat by the time I rapped on the door. Waiting on the steps, I unwrapped the scarf from about my head and neck and stood, panting with exhaustion, when the door swung open.

There was a little girl standing in its entrance way.

I've never been particularly fond of children, it wasn't as though I hated them- I just hadn't had much experience with them. But this little thing made me want to laugh as she darted behind the door once more and sneaked quick glances at me as I stood there. "I'm looking for Elenowen, may I come in?" I asked. I couldn't tell if she nodded or not, but the two bright blue orbs never left my face as the door swung open a tad wider.

I shrugged off my damp over-cloak as I entered. There was a small fire burning in the hearth. I knew that elves were not bothered by the cold, which meant the fire only offered a small amount of heat. I didn't mind thought, I was still breathless from the hike over here. The little girl shut the door behind me and I smiled encouragingly at her as she darted past me and disappeared within the next room.

I felt a tad awkward, standing there in a stranger's house. "It's a start." I mumbled. I hung my cloak up on a hook by the door and then walked further into the house. There was a common room by the hearth. Which itself was surrounded by a number of cushioned chairs. I was about to call for Elenowen when I saw the little girl again. This time she was standing behind one of the chairs. I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "Hello again." I said. She didn't respond, just stared curiously at me.

I tried again, this time in Sindarin. '_I'm Victoria... do you have a name?'_ She ducked behind the chair once more and I shook my head in amusement. '_If you won't tell me your name I shall just have to think of a new one for you. Will mouse do?'_ I sighed dramatically when she didn't appear. '_Then there is no one to take this delicious, hot soup to poor Elenowen. I just know she'd like it so much.'_

I saw her eyes once more, hidden behind long locks of dark brown hair. This time I could see the tips of her pointed ears as she stuck her head out further. '_Tell you what, I'll tell you a story and then you can help me bring this to Elenowen. Will you do that for me?'_ Mouse hesitated, and then nodded slowly.

I racked my brain, it was my challenge. I wanted to get _Mouse _to speak. So I searched for a really good story, one I had always liked till finally I decided upon Cinderella. '_Once upon a time...'_ By the time I got to the part with the fairy godmother, her face had changed completely. And when Cinderella danced with the prince she was sitting on the chair itself.

She was dressed plainly, a dark brown smock with black leg wrappings and a tan scarf around her neck. Her eyes were wide, the fire reflecting brightly in them as I told her the story. '_...and she and the prince lived happily ever after.'_

I stopped, waiting for her reaction, when I received none added, "The end." slipping back into English, or the common tongue as it's called around here. And for a moment I wondered if I had gotten my Sindarin accent right when suddenly she blurted out.

"Does 'happily ever after' mean they got married and lived together forever?" She also spoke in the common tongue which surprised me greatly.

"Yes."

"And they were very happy?"

I nodded.

She relaxed into the chair and sighed, "It was a good story."

I smiled. "I'm glad you like it Mouse. By the way, that's not your name is it?"

A shy smile passed over her fine features. "I am called Ana." She said. It was strange really, talking to her like this. Immortality was a daunting concept, and I had forgotten that even the elves had to start out somewhere. It was refreshing to speak with Ana.

Her brows met in concentration and she looked up at me again. "You are a human, aren't you?" When I nodded, she stood and gazed at me curiously. "I don't think you look at that different." She said decidedly.

I laughed. "Perhaps not... but I think your ears are much more interesting then mine."

She cocked her head, studying my rounded ears, and then she giggled. The brighter smile that followed was small, but it likewise illuminated a face that looked like it had been sad for much too long.

"Astonishing." Came a voice from a doorway opposite the hearth. I turned and saw a dark-haired, elven maid with an obvious bulge in her stomach, watching me with a smile. "You must be Victoria." She said in the same accented voice I had grown so used to from listening to Mirlaic. "Mirlaic said she might be sending you along one of these days to visit me. But imagine, getting little Ana to speak!" She walked slowly into the room, pressing a hand to her swollen stomach and grimacing slightly as she lowered herself into a chair.

Ana, still smiling, turned to her with excitement. "Victoria is very good at telling stories." She informed her. Elenowen's house was small, not quite the same size of Mirlaic's. But it had that hint of youth to it that Mirlaic's lacked, and I guessed it had to do with containing the energy that Ana hid so effectively.

Elenowen glanced at the younger girl and took her hand. "You must thank her, would you make us some tea, _iel_? That's a good girl." Ana headed off merrily to the kitchen, repeating her favorite parts of Cinderella under her breath. She turned to me again. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting, I was napping when I heard the two of you talking."

"I'm sorry if we woke you-" I said quickly, eyeing her stomach as she rubbed it affectionately.

"Don't trouble yourself, I'm just not as quick on my feet as I used to be." She smiled. "It is a pleasure to meet you however, Mirlaic has told me so much about you. And then Ana..." She shook her head, chuckling softly. "... you must have some magic about you. I've never seen to take to anyone like that before."

"Is she your daughter?"

"No... Cudir, my husband, is her older brother. She rarely speaks with anyone, but especially since he's been away she hardly says anything. Her parents died in an orc attack long ago she's lived with us ever since." I blinked in surprise, it had not occurred to me that elves would suffer as regular people do. "No... I love Ana as if she were my own but..." She glanced down at her stomach again. "... this little one will be my first."

"I guess Cinderella cheered her up a bit." I said, smiling at Ana as balanced two cups of steaming liquid and walked carefully back to us..

"Who?" She asked, glanced at me with an amused twinkle in her eyes.

"It was the story I told her."I explained, thanking Ana as she handing me my cup.

Alphril chuckled as Ana handed her the box. . "If it cheers this little one up, I think I should like to hear that story as well." She turned to the little girl, who's pointed ears seem to stick out awkwardly through her hair. "Thank you Ana. I was just telling Victoria how you like to help me while your brother is gone." Ana nodded and then looked up at me.

"Will you tell me another story Victoria?"

I laughed. "Maybe another time Ana, Mirlaic is waiting for me. But you can visit me any time and I shall tell you a different story."

I stayed the afternoon with Elenowen and Ana. We heated the soup for supper and ate a hearty meal. Cudir hadn't been able to stay the whole break for harvest when he had come. And Elenowen, apparently, hadn't really started to get so large until he'd been away. I learned that she was especially nervous about delivering their child without him, and I promised to come and visit as often as I could in the weeks to follow.

I enjoyed Elenowen's company very much. At times, I felt so young sitting next to her. If she were mortal, I don't imagine that she would have been much older than me. But I couldn't even almost imagine having children, and by myself while my husband was away at war. Her husband. I felt an ache for her as I thought of the fear and anxiety she must be going through every day now. And I whispered a prayer for her as I said my good-byes and headed home.

* * *

"Cinderella aye?" Mirlaic was smiling as I told her about what had happened at Elenowen's flet. "I know Ana and Elenown very well. And poor Cudir... I helped to bring both he and his sister into this world. Their mother was such a young, sweet thing." She shook her head. "It was such a shame... their deaths. It was very hard on that little one- she was such a tiny thing at the time. Poor child... he has had to leave Ana after all this time. But, hopefully, his contribution to this war will rid it of those who would harm us and then he will be able to come home."

_War. _

It stung like a hot poker and left my mouth dry and my tongue feeling like parchment. War. The deliverer of death. I thought of little Ana's sweet face and my heart broke for her loss. I couldn't imagine losing both of my parents. A lonely, little girl and an expectant mother were my newest friends. Who would have known? I helped Mirlaic prepare her herbs and I reminisced of Spring in Gilloth. I was already counting the days until the snow would melt.

* * *

With January came the new year, (Not that it mattered, for time itself mattered little to these people). When I wasn't visiting Elenowen or helping Mirlaic around the house, I was telling stories to Ana- who appeared all the time at Mirlaic's doorstep. On occasion, she brought a friend, which amused me to no end since I was still getting used to the idea that there were any children even in the village.

Elenowen grew more and more nervous as her baby's due date drew closer. I did what I could to console her, but I knew nothing would ease her nerves until her husband returned. Her child would be in the first baby to be born in Gilloth in a long while. Because of this, the day was awaited by the whole village with great anticipation.

I made a point of visiting her nearly every day, and when I did not come she was at our flet. She spoke often to Mirlaic about childbirth, the baby being her first and anticipating delivering it without Cudir made her very anxious.

I was trudging through the snow to Alphril's flet one morning, Mirlaic needed supplies and sent me over. Despite the added burden of trudging through the snow, I didn't mind. Being cooped up inside all the time was making me stir-crazy.

The snow was crisp and the air clear. If the sun had been out it would have blinded me. A cold wind was blowing through the trees and I pulled my winter cloak tighter about my shoulders as I crossed the barren streets. The storm seemed not only to kill the plants and trees, but also much, if not all, of Gilloth's social gatherings. I was almost at Alphril's when I heard light footsteps coming up behind me. It was Ana and she was running frantically towards me.

"Victoria! Victoria!" She called, stopping in front of me and glanced down at my feet. "You can't walk on snow?" Momentarily distracted by her distress. Then she shook her head before I could answer. "I guess not."

Ana's eyes widened with fear and she looked back up into my face. Her ears were red from the cold and snow flakes whirled from her dark locks as she shook her head again. "Elenowen says her time is near, you must come quickly!"

Now my eyes widened, "I don't know anything about babies Ana!"

"Surely Mirlaic has taught you something?"

"A little but..."

"I little is enough! I will get Mirlaic, but please go to her!" Ana's large eyes were gazing intently into mine, I could see her fear, her nervousness. I lock my jaw, my resolve hardening into determination.

"All right, but go. Quickly!" She darted off into the hazy streets, her footsteps not even make the faintest tracks on the snow. I whirled and bounded towards Elenowen's house. My heart was pounding fiercely against my chest, and I as neared I began to feel light-headed. Even if I got there in time, would I be able to do anything? The snow was up to my knees and I had to lift my legs high in order to run. I leaped, my muscles straining with the effort.

By the time I reached her door, my lungs were heaving for air and my legs were shaking, threatening to collapse. I opened the door to her flet and stumbled inside. I leaned against the wall to catch my breath and then slowly walked inside. I couldn't hear anything at first as I pealed off my soaked cloak and closed the door behind me.

"Elenowen?" I called breathlessly, I brushed back damp locks of my hair away from my face. No one answered and I called again. "Elenowen?" Finally I heard moaning, coming from a room in the back of the flet.

I ran and found Elenowen in the doorway of her bedroom, her face was twisted in pain, her hands clutching the frame tightly as I knelt at her side. "Elenowen!"

"Victoria! Is that you?" She whispered weakly, she moaned and clutched her stomach.

"Yes, it's me." I took her hand and squeezed it. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to her feet.

"I'm so frightened Victoria...I'm afraid... I might... that I'll-."

"No such thing will be happening to you, you'll be fine!" I said firmly, struggling as I led her to her bed and she groaned once more.

"Where're Mirlaic?" She asked frantically, breathing deeply as she slid onto her bed.

"On her way. Don't worry. I know exactly what to do." I smiled and brushed her forehead comfortingly. _What do they always use in movies? Water... blankets... oh God, Mirlaic, please get her quickly!! _It was my biggest lie, and I could only pray everything would be all right.

* * *

I can hardly remember what happened all day. I felt light-headed and so nervous that I felt like I might die. But after it all, and this part I remember very well, was cradling a small baby girl in my arms. Just as Mirlaic rushed in the door.

* * *

News of the baby's birth spread like wildfire. And so had the fact that Elenowen had named her Turwethiel, which is the Elvish version of my name. The little thing had dark hair, just like her mother's, and the clearest blue eyes I had ever seen. Elenowen said they were from Cudir, her father.

At first I'm sure the villagers didn't quite sure what to think of me. After practically ignoring my existence after half a year they had two options, to praise my bravery, or to be appalled that one of their own had been delivered by a mortal. I hardly listened to the gossip, and nearly every day went to see Elenowen. I held baby Turwethiel in my arms, whispering her English name to her when no one was looking. I loved the way her tiny hands would grasp around my large, rough fingers. I loved to caress her dark locks, which unlike her mother's, were slightly curly.

"If it weren't for you, you know, I don't think I would have made it." Elenowen said a week later as I kissed Turwethiel's hand while Elenowen sat down to rest. I blushed,

"Don't be silly, you did all the work." I recalled how Elenowen had struggled and fought for her daughter's birth, and I shook my head. _Childbirth... bleh. _

She was still weak, the birth had been difficult for her. She was sitting in a large, cushioned chair. "No, I was close to giving up. If you hadn't been there...I don't know what would have happened."

I didn't reply. Some things just don't have answers. Besides, sometimes I didn't know what to think at all. I was just relieved that my friend was all right.

"How's Talorta?" She asked, taking little Turwethiel back from me and preparing to nurse her.

"He's a little stir crazy because of the snow. But he's made some friends, and doesn't seem to mind _too_ much."

Elenowen nodded, "He is a beautiful animal Victoria. He is one of your greatest friends... no?"

I smiled, that was a fact known without words. Talorta was why I was here, I had given everything for him, as he had given everything for me. We were bonded forever now. "Yes. He is."

I stretched my back as I straightened up again and glanced outside the windows. It was snowing harder now. Much harder then it had before. Strange. "It's getting worse out there." I said, voicing my thoughts.

"Yes, our winters are always hard." She replied.

I reached for my cloak and threw it over my shoulders. "I should go."

"Will you be able to find your way?"

I nodded and she took my hand, "Thank you Victoria, you are a true friend."

I smiled, '_So are you.'_ I answered in her own language.

"Will you come again soon?"

I paused to think, "Yes. Tomorrow morning. Early, and then you can help me with my letters." I was relearning the letters Faerlain had begun to instruct me in.

"I'm no scholar, but I'll do what I can." She smiled at me and squeezed my hand before releasing it. I braced myself for the cold and threw the door open, trudging into the rapidly filling streets.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	10. The Forest

**Disclaimer: **I do not pretend to own anything of the masterpiece created by Tolkien, I only wish to honor him by my own little creations for his fellow devoted fans. :)

**Chapter Quote:** "They _stole my horse._"

* * *

**Chapter Ten **

The Forest

* * *

It was cold. There was no other word to describe a Mirkwood Winter. I thought I could feel my body slowly freezing as I started my walk back to Mirlaic's flet. I smiled as I recalled Elenowen's face when she held her baby girl for the first time, that look of tenderness in her eyes as she gently brushed her daughter's delicate ear-tips and then- gently- nursed her at her breast. 

I was in no phase of life to even consider the possibility of motherhood in my future. But that love I had seen in Elenowen's face... had my own mother felt the same way towards me? Had she held me to her heart and cooed softly in my ears words meant only for me, ones I would never remember? Had she loved me that much?

My mother had never been cold or distant towards me. Yet somehow I had always imagined that Zachary was her favorite. He was the talkative one, the bold one, the one who made everybody laugh and seemed to defy all that threatened to bring normal people down. Zachary hadn't been ordinary, he'd been something of a god among men. Nothing seemed to phase him and until his death I had been more then content to live in his shadow. To make my own life behind the scenes, caring not for what others thought of me and shaping an image of myself that would be both pleasing to my own mind and to my Creator.

But then I had been cast in the spotlight, and suddenly I couldn't hide anymore. Zachary, my fearless older brother, was no longer there to guide and protect me. I was thrust into a world I had been unprepared for... and then I had come here.

I wasn't burdened by a past that had haunted me from the first moment I had realized my brother was really dead. I was not bound to the mortal chains of sorrow when I was with these people. I was allowed to live the beauty of life without boundaries and without fears.

But I was afraid to love those I cared most about... because one fear haunted me still. A fear of losing everything I had gained, losing all those who had come to mean so much to me. I shuddered and crossed my arms over my chest. I had to stop thinking on this... I was on the road to insanity if I kept this up. You can't live in two words nor thrive between them. That is not to say that I wasn't already crazy. Living in an imaginary world and falling for some wonderful dream guy that can't possibly be real didn't exactly sound all that sane either.

* * *

It was dark by the time I got back to the flet. The snow was still falling hard, but it was at a gentler pace so that while I could hardly see two feet in front of me- it was pleasurably to look at. The pristine whiteness... the tone of peace one derived at gazing at a world blanketed with an exquisite sense of renewal. That was the _true_ beauty of the season. 

Light from inside had spilled out of the window by the front door, bathing the chilled area just outside the steps with a pretense of warmth. Pausing as I stood, shivering, at the door- I glanced in the window. Mirlaic was stooped over something in the kitchen. Something that steamed as she poured it into a large bowl and nodded with satisfaction. I had grown to love her during my stay here... she had become the family I had been torn from, and I the daughter to her she had never had.

I wondered if she considered it a fair trade-off.

Though the thought of warming up inside by the roaring firing sounding just a tad more tempting then simply 'desirable', I instead made up my mind to say good-night to Talorta before I disappeared within the flet's welcoming interior.

The stable Mirlaic had was small and not quite twenty or thirty paces from her house. Talorta spend most of his days wandering around the land surrounding Mirlaic's flet... and at night he 'hibernated' in his stable which he accessed through a tall, narrow door that led to his dinner and a warm bed. Needless to say, saying he was spoiled would have been a gross understatement.

It was windy out and the snow continued to fall as I trudged through the drifts that came up past my knees in some places. But when I reached his door, I frowned. It was half-open and I could hear nothing to reveal his presence within. Feeling a deep, gut-wrenching feeling brewing in my stomach, I approached the door and cautiously entered. Every fibre in me wished just then that he would be there and that my foolish nerves would just be a product of a day full of too much excitement. This was not the case, because the stable was empty when I entered and I could see not a single track leading in or out in the snow.

Snow that fell harshly now and chilled my heart with fear.

Talorta was gone.

* * *

I ran back to the village square, screaming Talorta's name as I went and arousing the villagers from their firesides with glares. They muttered at me, grumbling for me to silence my cries but I didn't care. Talorta was gone... my Talorta, and I had to find him. Above all else, Talorta was my closest and dearest friend and the only link I had besides weak memories of my life back home on the farm. 

"What goes on mortal?"

"Why do you run like a mad woman through our streets?" They asked me over and over and I couldn't answer through my gasps as I rasped his name over and over.

"_TALORTA!"_ I called, stumbling in the snow as I searched frantically for him, "_TALORTA!"_ I started a dash towards the forest when I was halted by the sniffling figure of a young boy coming towards me from that direction. He was not still a child, more like a young adolescent flocked on both sides by two, equally young elven boys. The three elves glared at me as I stopped them, wide-eyed and breathless I begged them for any news of Talorta and I cared not for the prejudices against me, if they indeed harbored any.

The one in the middle looked abashed as the other villagers crowded around my shivering form whilst I entreated the three for an answer. He clutched his arm closer. "Why would we know anything about your horse, mortal?" He said in a voice that spoke of one putting on a brave face to make an impression.

I was simply irked that they couldn't give me a straight answer and instead looked down at his arm. "What happened?" I demanded and the other two boys pressed closer to the third, all glowering at me.

"I fell." He murmured, pulling away from my hands that would have been quick to help him if he had only let me.

"From what?" I persisted, my mind was half frantic with worry, but at the same time I couldn't help but make sure the boy was all right. He was hesitant to answer and then I realized I could see something else etched in his face. He was afraid. I looked towards the forest which was not but a few feet away from me now... and I saw hoof-prints in the snow where the tree line began- where the snow wasn't yet so deep.

My mind started bantering about this information as the boy's mouth clamped shut and I stared dumbly at him. The realization I came to made my countenance darken and I fought from grabbing the boy to force his answer from me.

"You stole my horse! Where is he thief? What did you do to him?!" I demanded shrilly, now numb to everything except the raw fury I felt burning inside of me.

"We didn't steal him!" Said one of the boys defensively. "We just wanted to ride-"

"He's what you fell off of, isn't he? Where is Talorta? What did you do with him?"

The boys shrank away from my harsh tone and one of the villagers pushed ahead of me, effectively shielding them from my view. "Enough." The villager said sternly to me. "Interrogating these boys like this in the snow isn't solving anything-"

"They _stole my horse."_ I said in a clipped tone, turning to the elves behind me for some sort of agreement.

"_There is no proof to lay such an accusation about that."_ Said one.

"_Everyone is innocent until proven guilty."_ Said another and the murmurings of agreement from the others made me start to feel sick.

"But-"

"_There are no exceptions, Victoria Knightengale. Maybe your horse found one of our mare's... he is a stallion is he not?_"

The thought made my head spin. Of _course_ Talorta was a stallion- they all knew that. Every villager was jealous of Talorta's unique coloring and strength- and everyone wanted their mares to have a foal by him. What I couldn't believe was that they were just letting this off the hook, and I felt cheeks flush hotly as rage flooded my senses. "My horse did not 'find a mare' and disappear." I said hotly. "These boys took him out for a joy-ride and-"

"_You have no proof."_ Someone said again.

"_This is folly!"_

And then I couldn't take it anymore. Shoving through the bystanders, I thrust myself into the forest despite their cries of warning and I was soon tramping beneath the dreary skeletons of the trees as the temperature continued to drop.

But I saw neither hide nor hair of Talorta.

* * *

It was pitch dark now, but I knew nothing of time and the dark branches all seemed to sway with a rhythm that I didn't understand. The trees creaked underneath the weight of the snow and ice and the world seemed deathly still. 

I trudged on.

I shoved my way through the trees until the voices from the village were only an echo on the breeze. My cheeks burned from the cold and my ears felt like ice. I felt numb with the frigidity of the air and my thoughts seemed disoriented and sluggish.

How long had I been wandering? Hours? Minutes? I didn't know and I had no way of finding out. All I knew was that I was exhausted and my steps were slowing as I plowed through the knee-deep snow.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... maybe I should go back..._ But one glance behind me told me there was no going back, because I had no idea as to where I was at all.

I felt suddenly light-headed and I sank to the ground beside a tree. It was so _cold_. I gasped as I struggled to breathe and hugged my arms to my chest tightly. The cold bit my skin due to the dampness of my clothes and to my own perspiration, which had begun to freeze. But I now couldn't find the strength to stand.

Still it snowed, and it seemed so deathly quiet. The silence enveloped me like a dark cloak... and I found before long that tears had begun to stream down my face.

I sobbed until I could hold no more tears and then even they began to freeze on my face as night settled. A strange calmness took hold of me, I felt so tired.

How long had I been out here? Questions... endless questions swirled in my mind.

"Mirlaic..." I whispered, wishing my faint call would somehow bring her to me. Desperately wishing that she would appear through the trees to take me home. But she didn't. And now Talorta was gone too... from the prank of a foolish boy.

Now the sky was so black that it felt like death and my eyelids felt so _heavy_.

Strange... I could hardly even feel the cold now. Was the good or bad?

_I can_'_t sleep... not here... not now... _but my body wasn't listening to me. It was shutting down. I looked up at the sky, and I watched as the flakes danced slowly on the breeze- freezing on my eye lashes and melting on my breath. _...so tired..._ I laid my hands on the snow, resting my head upon them. It was so beautiful... and I felt so warm.

I felt so content, not frightened at all. The snow flakes whirled, like in the _Nutcracker_. The fairies waltzing on the wind, shimmering in the moonlight. A wonderful ballet.

_Can_'_t stay awake..._

And that was all.

* * *

"Mirlaic, did Victoria ask you to come?" Asked Elenowen in surprise as the healer entered her flet. Elenowen was seated in a large chair by the fire, and little Turwithiel nursed contentedly at her breast. Mirlaic gently touched the baby's cheek tenderly before she looked up at Elenowen.

"Isn't she here? That's why I came... it's gotten so late and she wasn't home yet. I was worried..." She answered, frowning as she saw the concern seep it's way into Elenowen's fair features. Both elves gazed out the window, at the landscape covered in another layer of thick snow in the darkness.

"She didn't come home after she helped me?" Elenowen asked in surprise.

Mirlaic's face paled slightly and she pressed her lips together. The baby turned away from Elenowen and began to wail. Elenowen started as she small child cried, as if unnerved by the small sound Mirlaic knelt at her side and cooed softly to the baby. "Don't worry little one- you'll be all right." She tugged the little girl tightly into her swaddling blankets and said softly to Elenowen. "You are making her nervous- she can sense your emotions."

Elenowen smiled nervously, looking suddenly very young and exhausted as she leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. "It's just been hard- with Cudir away." She shook her head. "I don't know what I would have done if Victoria hadn't come."

"She'll be fine." Mirlaic said firmly. Smiling, she rose and squeezed the young mother's shoulder. "Let that little one finish eating, and then we'll get you both cleaned up and put to bed."

"But what about-"

"Victoria will be fine, she is no stranger to the snow." Mirlaic moved swiftly to the kitchen and set about to boiling some water. Though she wouldn't speak her concerns aloud, she knew... just _knew _that something was wrong. _Victoria will be fine... she's a big girl. _She nodded her head to confirm her beliefs but the fear and doubt churning in her stomach didn't settle. "_She has to be._" She whispered.

* * *

I blinked, I felt so _warm_. I smiled- _I could hear Talorta grazing in the paddock, his hooves stomping the ground in an effort to get the flies away. The sun beat warmly upon my face. Someone was shaking me, I didn_'_t want to move. It was so lovely here. I never wanted to wake up. If it was a dream, let it so remain. _

"_Victoria_."

_It was whispered on the wind, my name. I opened my eyes, and there was Zach. He was smiling, his eyes bright. No longer lifeless and staring at some unseen object, but vibrant and soulful. His hair shining in the sun like in that TV show, Touched By an Angel. You know... like when ever Monica tells someone she's an angel, her whole being is bathed in this warm, heavenly light. That's what Zach looked like now. His neck wasn't twisted funny, his chest rose and fell. Everything was fine._

"_I missed you." I murmured. He smiled again and shook his head,_

"_I've missed you too." He lay down beside me and pulled me closer to him. Like when I was little and he'd hold me until my nightmares had faded away. He felt so alive._

_But I felt so cold._

"_Wake up Victoria. Wake up." _

_He faded, his face was suddenly gone, and the snow was biting me again. Someone shook my shoulder, everything burned, but at the same time, I couldn't feel anything at all. How can that be?_

"Mirlaic?" I whispered, begging for it to be her. No more dreams. "_Zach_..."

"No. _Please_ wake." Came another voice. A strange distant voice. I tried to pull my body out of the sleep that had taken it. But the rude awakening hadn't suited it and it refused to cooperate as if it had a mind of it's own. An icy cold hand touched my forehead and I shuddered beneath it. "You burn with fever. Where do you come from?" Came the voice again.

Everything was clouded and I couldn't think straight. Where was I? _What happened? _"Gilloth." I muttered. A horse whinnied and I strained to look for the reason for it. "_Talorta?"_ I whispered weakly, but neither the voice nor the horse replied.

It was so confusing- all my thoughts seemed huddled together too tightly for my to decipher one thing from the other. But I was vaguely aware of someone moving around me. The owner of the voice was moving me. It's arm under my shoulder, hoisting me up upon limbs too rigid and numb with cold to move. The owner of the voice dragged me forward, a protective arm draped about my shoulders. I stumbled, my legs protesting at the added strain. Every part of me throbbed and I could feel myself slipping away into the tantalizing darkness. Oh... it would just _be so easy..._

"Stay awake." It warned.

But it was so hard, I wanted to beg it to leave me be. When it suddenly paused in it's jerky movements a pain awakened me enough to open my eyes. It was a girl- an elf. Can't think... it was taking so much energy just to keep moving. _More pain_, it was beginning to intensify.

"Leave me." I whispered. "_Make it stop_." My vision was blurred and I found that I couldn't see her very well.

"Do not fall back asleep." She said again. I could hear horses... and now she was hoisting me up off the ground.

"Keep talking." I whispered, as she swung herself up behind me and I slowly registered that we were now on horseback.

"Foolish mortal." She muttered her fingertips digging into my back as she struggled to keep my body upright. I figured the only way I would be able to stay awake was if I had some sort of diversion... something else to concentrate on and yet my body rebelled again against my mind's demands. It was snowing harder now if that were possible. I started to shiver uncontrollably.

"We're almost there." She shouted over the deafening sound of her horse bounding through the snow. But I felt so tired, and it _burned_ everywhere.

I could feel the snowflakes melting on my skin. I collapsed, my mind could no longer rouse my body to move. I couldn't do it. I heard shouts and footsteps crunching on the snow. But I couldn't... I _had _given up. It was too hard to accomplish on my own. The snow seemed to swallow me whole and I fell into the most deep and wonderful sleep I have even known. It was the best I could ever remember.

And the pain was gone.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	11. Fever

**Disclaimer:** Though I am immensely fond of Tolkien's work, (Biggest understatement I have ever made) I would never stoop so low as to claim them as my own.

**Chapter Quote:** "There are some times in life when our stories have happy endings."

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

Fever

* * *

When I awoke again, I felt worse. My limbs burned and ached with a passion that threatened to sever me in two. I moaned and cried, but it didn't stop. 

"Victoria, _please_. You must warm up."

_Warm up?_ I was burning with heat! I wanted to be tossed out into the snow. I imagined how the steam would rise from my body as I laid on the frozen earth... oh what sweet _bliss_ it would have brought to me in my misery. I couldn't move, couldn't see. There was fire everywhere. My body was drenched in sweat and I couldn't stop shaking. Something cold touched my forehead but it too burned like ice that was too cold. Then someone else was brushing my hair back.

"Shhhh Victoria. It's all right _iell_." The voice was familiar and though I couldn't open my eyes, I knew at once who it belonged to.

"Mirlaic." I croaked but the words wouldn't come out right. My throat burned. "It hurts... _too hot._" I whined breathlessly, too weak to speak to her my desires and too miserable to seek comfort in her words.

"You are going to be fine." She cooed, stroking my forehead again and I shivered as her hand sent chills throughout my body. Her voice was distant, like reality fading into a dream. She brought a cup to my lips and helped me to drink. Cold water rushed into my parched throat, it tasted wonderful. "That's better isn't it?" She asked, her voice floating along the thin line I drifted along, between reality and unconsciousness.

I wanted to hug her, she was so good to me. But my arms lay weak and lifeless at my sides and the pain confused my thoughts, jumbling them all into one cry of agony. Everything was growing fuzzy, I couldn't think straight. My eyelids were too heavy to open. She began to sing softly, I couldn't understand the words. They were different than Sindarin...

_No!_

It hurt to much to think. So I listened to her sing until her voice faded on a cloud of mist and I drifted off into a sleep that freed me from me pain. A sleep into which I remembered nothing more.

_To sleep, perchance to dream._

* * *

When I awoke again I found I didn't burn so, but now my heart ached with each burst of pain. For the first time in nearly a year, I wished reverently for my mother. She always knew how to make me better, how to soothe my aches and pains. How to ease the ailments that would occasionally afflict me. But she wasn't here. 

Curious... it felt like someone was holding my hand. It took everything in me to slowly open my eyes, but even an illness hadn't dampened my inquisitive nature. My eyes widened as I gazed into the face of my visitor. "_Faerlain?_" I whispered in astonishment, my throat hurt and it was a struggle to say anything at all.

He looked so handsome- so strong, so vibrant. I was jealous of that life that seemed to radiate from him. I wished I could take some of it for my own. He smelt of leather and of the crispness of a first snowfall. His grey eyes glistened as he smiled. Leaning toward me, he pressed a finger to my lips, "Silly girl, Mirlaic said you shouldn't be talking." He glanced both ways conspiratorially, "So I shall do the talking for you."

His hand moved to my brow- damp still with sweat from the remains of a fever. He moved to me face, caressing it gently, then to my hair. My head hurt and I closed my eyes, breathing in his aroma and relishing in the warmth and comfort of his hands. I found I was too weak to move but, swaddled in warm quilts, I let myself relax as he pressed a cool cloth to my forehead.

"You're probably wondering why I am here." Was I? In all seriousness I really didn't care. I was just happy to see him. I wasn't really wondering about much of anything. Faerlain was probably a dream... he couldn't possibly be here, taking care of me. He'd only been away for how long? Wasn't he supposed to be doing something? Fighting perhaps? My thoughts were buried in a fog and they came out hazy as I tried to pull them out to the forefront of my mind.

"My company had to pass through this area so I asked my commander if I could spend a day here. I came only to discover that my dearest friend was rather ill." _Dearest friend._ Hmm, I liked the way that sounded.

"Faerlain?" I asked dreamily, my words felt like sand on my tongue. They were cracked, dry; they tumbled over one another. Useless as they chafed my skin. I must have spoken barely above a whisper- but it was enough. He could hear me, he could always hear me. "Why are you here?"

He blinked, smiled again. "I've already told you-"

"_No_. Why are you doing this... for me?" He stopped and I opened my eyes once more to look at him. He didn't say anything at first, he seemed at a loss for words. But I was so tired, and I was already half-asleep by the time he replied.

* * *

Mirlaic had told him she'd been ill... but Faerlain hadn't realized how pale mortals could get when they were so close to death. He'd seen death before, many times. But never in this way, never so close to someone he treasured so dearly. Victoria had hardly the strength to move as she lay on the bed. Her hair and face were both damp with sweat and her skin was flushed with the marked signs of a fever. Her eyes seemed clouded and disoriented as they looked into his. And he wanted anything in the world to only ease her pain. 

Stripped down to only a light shift, he pressed cool cloths to her face, neck, and arms. She stirred occasionally, sometimes to moan and sometimes to look at him. She seemed to draw strength from his presence... or at least he hoped she did.

But it was her question that took him by surprise. _Why am I doing this?_ It wasn't just because she was his friend, and the reality of that situation took him quite by surprise as her eyelids fluttered shut. He hadn't be able to put a name on the reason.

Maybe because, when he'd realized how close he had been to losing her, it had hurt him to breathe. The thought of never seeing her again, hearing her voice, breathing in the sweetness of her skin- it had made him insane with grief. He would have done anything- given anything, but he couldn't place the term on the emotion. It evaded him easily, and so the question floated about, unclaimed and unanswered.

"Maybe I like coming to your rescue." He had answered jocularly. But it was something deeper then that, and he sighed as he grasped her hand tighter. "Maybe I'm too much of a coward to tell you why." He stated finally. Her chest rose and fell deeply with sleep, but the thoughts kept nagging at him and he leaned closer to her. "Maybe because the thought of losing you hurt like nothing else ever has."

But there was nothing anyone could do to take away the stirring inside of him. Nothing anyone could do to ease the pain of what he knew to be his own reality. And for the life of him, he couldn't give a name to what all that was.

* * *

He talked all day- I knew that much. I couldn't always make out his words, or decipher the meaning behind his mumblings. But I could hear his voice- and that was enough. Sometimes I would look at him... and all I would be aware of was his eyes. His beautiful eyes. Then, in what seemed like moments, he was gone. 

And I was alone.

* * *

"She's past the worst of it now, Faerlain. She'll be all right." 

It was past dusk now. Night was settling in over the village and Faerlain knew his company would be waiting for him at their encampment. He longed to linger a while longer, to see her laugh again and tell him that he shouldn't have worried.

"Faerlain?" Mirlaic prodded gently, and with a start he looked up at her.

"I'm sorry- I seem to be distracted." He cast a lingering glance towards Victoria's bedroom. The door stood slightly ajar and, from his position, he could see her hand resting lifelessly on the thick quilts. Mirlaic followed his gaze and her brows creased as she watched him.

Watched him watching her.

"It is late- you should get going. Victoria wouldn't want you to get in any trouble."

He nodded. "Of course." reaching for his cloak on a far hanger on the wall, he turned hesitantly back to Mirlaic. "Will you tell her... I was here, in case she doesn't remember?"

There was such eagerness in his request, emotions he hadn't thought to keep in check. Mirlaic's face was sad as she smiled at him. "I shall... you should write her. She will be bed-ridden for a while and I think she would enjoy to hear from you."

While it would be nigh on impossible to get letters to the village on a regular basis while he was off fighting, the thought brightened him somewhat. "Thank you." He said, he pressed his hands into her own and squeezed them. "It helped me more to see her then you'll ever know."

"I was young once too, Faerlain." Mirlaic cautioned with a coy smile. "Be careful- it would do all of us good to see you home safe and sound again."

He half-smiled, nodded, and with a wave, slipped out the door. Without turning to glance behind, he bid Mirlaic farewell and fled into the darkening streets.

* * *

The warmth of the camp fire didn't seem to melt the numbness from his aching limbs. Faerlain found he couldn't concentrate on what the others said or did. His head hurt and his heart was racing, it hadn't stopped since he'd left Gilloth. He imagined Victoria, lying ill and feverish on the bed. 

And he wished, for the hundredth time now, that he were at her side. Instead of here, searching for enemies and battles in the dead of winter. He felt a hand on his shoulder and, slightly startled, he glanced up sharply.

"You haven't listed to a word I've said, have you?" Asked his friend, Cudir. His bright eyes reflected the firelight, glowing warmly in the frigid air. Faerlain smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, my mind seems to be elsewhere tonight." They hadn't stayed long outside the village. Their company commander didn't like sitting still during the storm, and they had headed east towards the outskirts of the forest. The spiders were usually passive during the winter months, but there was a war in the east. A war, though still largely removed from Mirkwood's culture, still haunted its borders with pinpricks. Pinpricks that were unnerving both the King and the people, which meant that enlisted soldiers like Faerlain and Cudir would serve nearly the whole year for a long time patrolling the borders until the threats died down.

There tour would end in the south, during the spring, where the kingdom ended and the plains leading to Mordor began. "We'll be home by Spring without too much trouble if these snows keep the orcs away." Cudir replied, looking longingly westward where Gilloth lay, a gathering of lights in the distance now where the snow swirled around flets illuminated by their interior firelight in the blackness of the evening. Cudir had a wife waiting for him, a wife he sorely missed. He had hoped to get leave to go see her as he had been away for nearly ten months. But the commander had not been so generous.

Cudir had led the second company in later during the day, and by the time they had passed the village the commander had not allowed for any delays. So Cudir's wife would have to wait a bit longer before they would be reunited once more.

"Orcs." Faerlain murmured contemplatively. "Orcs and spiders. If only they'd stay close to their dark nests we'd be home by now."

Cudir looked across at him for a moment in silence. He lowered himself onto a log opposite of Faerlain with a sigh. "Something is bothering you... isn't it?" He questioned softly. Cudir was wearing a thick winter cloak about his armor. And his armor, made by only the finest elven smiths was wrapped about his chest, waist, and thighs while his helmet lay discarded by his tent.

While elves did not really feel the cold, it kept the snow out of their inner layer of clothing which was good enough for most, keeping it dry. Their company hadn't seen much action since the heavy snows had come, but they were always prepared for it. The spiders especially knew all the darkest places of the forest and the warriors were also on guard for them.

Faerlain didn't reply to Cudir's question. Honestly, simply because he didn't know how to answer. Something was bothering him of course, he just wasn't sure what. It gnawed at his mind, toying with his thoughts when he usually wouldn't have paid them a moment's notice.

The way the snow disappeared in the fire reminded him of how the beads of sweat had trickled down her forehead. The flames recalled the image of her inflamed face as the fever had ravaged her body. "I see I'll get no answer from you tonight." Cudir announced at length.

Faerlain glanced up at him and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry my friend, it doesn't seem like my thoughts will leave me alone."

Cudir stood and patted him on the shoulder. "Then nor will I add myself to that burden you carry." He moved away from the fire, "But if you need someone to talk it over with... you know where I am." He gestured to the edge of the camp where Cudir's tent stood. Faerlain nodded appreciatively, and then dropped his head into his hands.

"_...why are you doing this... for me?"_

He poked at the embers absentmindedly with a stray stick, and the question continued to plague him the whole night through. For while he thought his way through the problem, he just didn't want to admit to his end result. He didn't even want to think of possibilities, but they plagued him all the same.

* * *

The days passed slowly in a confusion of dreams and painful awakenings. Something I would see Faerlain by my side, only to awake and find it had only been a dream. Now I found it increasingly difficult to discern what was real. For what is _real?_ The dream? Or the dream within a dream? What could I classify as reality? 

Eventually Mirlaic told me that my fever had broke and that I was getting better. But had no meaning to me in this world of in-betweens. There was no day or night, they just faded into one another. In and out, light into darkness and back again.

The first time I truly grasped the concept of time during that miserable period was when I awoke one day to Mirlaic braiding my hair. I was stretched out on my side, my quilts pulled back exposing my bare legs and my frail body covered only lightly with a nightshift. The cool air felt wonderful on my skin. I felt parched, stale. Like I had gone too long without the taste of something new.

Mirlaid gently rolled me over onto my back and she smiled at me as she pulled the quilts up to my chest. It felt so good to see her clearly, not blocked through the haze of illness. She sat on the edge of the bed and pressed her hand to my forehead. I closed my eyes as she brushed her fingers over my face, relishing in the coolness of her skin. "You are getting better." She informed me, smiling all the while as I opened my eyes once more to gaze up at her. "How are you feeling _iell_?"

"Tired... and a little hungry." I answered.

Mirlaic chuckled and her face brightened as she stood once more. "That is the best thing I have heard you say in a long time." She said cheerily. "I'll warm up some soup, you just rest now." She glanced outside and I followed her gaze. It was still snowing, but somehow the weather didn't look at all frightening as I looked out the small window while I lay warm and cozy in my be.

"The snow will stop soon enough." She informed me, turning back to me with the smile still lighting up her face. "Now all you need to do is regain your strength."

Her slippered feet padded out of the room and, nearly perfectly content, I honestly couldn't have agreed more.

* * *

I decided that getting better was a tedious business. I was too weak to do much of anything for the first few days. The energy required just to eat a meal would drain me quickly. After a while I started to feel my strength returning, but it was a slow process. One that I had little patience for. 

Mirlaic was an angel to me, always patient, kind, and caring. She didn't ask why I had been out in the forest in the first place. And the damned troublemakers who had gotten me into this whole affair didn't offer an explanation. I felt hollow. Word from the village was that Talorta had disappeared. And while I knew those boys had not intentionally caused him harm, that logic did little to dampen the rage festering inside of me.

Mirlaic plaited my hair in the morning and wrapped me in thick, warm blankets. I think she was really troubled about how cold I always felt and I had a hard time explaining it to her. She did not feel the sharp chill of winter snow as I did.

I felt weak... inferior. I tried a few times to write a letter to Faerlain but each time I tried I found my words left me. The letter would go on, incomplete, maybe it would be that way forever. I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't know what words to use to tell him how happy I was that he had come to see me. How much I appreciated his friendship and how much I missed him.

I couldn't explain those sorts of feelings on paper and so my letter remained unwritten. I gained back my strength daily and, with Mirlaic's tender care, I was soon hobbling around the house. I had lose an unhealthy few pounds and my face looked thinner and paler than it had before. But I was getting better.

And yet, after a week, Talorta still hadn't been found.

* * *

I was rolling up some freshly washed bandages by the fire while Mirlaic washed pots in the sink. I tired easily still, but I was able to walk around now. There was a knock at the door, and before I could rise to get it Mirlaic had noted my movement and dried her hands with a smile. 

"I'll get it." She told me, patting my shoulder as she walked past the common area to the door. Mirlaic's flet was slightly circular in shape, and the large tree that stood in its center blocked the doorway from view. I turned my attention back to my task. For while my curiosity had been sufficiently roused, one thing my stay in Gilloth was beginning to teach me was patience.

I was curious because Mirlaic didn't often receive visitors when the snow storms hit. We'd just weathered another fierce one this past week. And then there was the fact that she was still speaking with our mysterious visitor.

"Victoria, come quickly!" She said breathlessly from the door.

I stood with a start, hurrying over in alarm as I hurriedly imagined what would upset Mirlaic so. Was someone ill? Had Elenowen had some trouble with the baby? How was the baby anyway? Was there news of Faerlain? But I did not recognize the woman who stood in the doorway. She was an elf of course, you could tell them apart from any creature in this world just from a quick glance.

A light snowfall had sprinkled innocent looking flakes throughout her long, dark hair. And what interested me the most about her straight off were her eyes, which were the same stormy grey as Faerlain's. "What is it Mirlaic?" I asked, coming to a halt by her side. "Has something happened?"

I heard the whinny before she could reply and immediately I was out on the steps, wrapped only in a light gown, and staring face to face with my horse. My beautiful horse. He looked none the worse for wear, and a strangle cry escaped from my lips as I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. "Talorta!" I cried, stroking his fur as he softly knickered and nudged my shoulder.

"I found him out in the woods... I think he got lost. He looks alright, none the worse for wear." Said the woman. I turned back to her, my arms still clutching at his mane and neck.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you." I told her, emotion flooding my voice as I spoke.

Mirlaic stepped forward just then, smiling at me as I kissed Talorta's velvety nose. "Victoria... this is Araviniel." She said, gesturing to the woman. "She's the one who found you in the forest, and she is also Faerlain's younger sister."

* * *

Araviniel refused to let me out of the house, insisting that she could bed Talorta down and give him a good meal on her own. She stayed for tea, and I told her- upon request, how I had come to be out in the forest. It was a story I could tell infuriated Mirlaic to no end. 

Afterward, she asked me how I had come to know her brother and she didn't seem in the least surprised upon hearing of his coming home on a forced sick leave. "It was always in his nature to overlook his own needs." She told me with a fond smile. "He always did put others first. My, it has been a long while since last I've seen him." She sipped a cup of tea Mirlaic had supplied for us. "I missed him so." Araviniel told us how she had been a lady-in-waiting to the Queen before she had decided to come home and learn the ways of healing.

"Alphril had always hoped you would be an apprentice of mine one day. She did always hate you living so far away."

"What changed your plans?" I asked between sips.

"The Queen passed into the Havens." Araviniel said slowly. "It was too painful for me to remain at the palace, though I did stay on for a long while to help around the palace. In the end I decided it was time to come home... and here I am."

"Good thing." I said softly. I turned to her, "I can't thank you enough for what you've done. I don't know what I would have done if I had never seen Talorta again..."

She smiled in reply, "Don't think on it." She told me with a smile. "There are some times in life when our stories have happy endings."

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	12. Monotonous Pastimes

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**The mortal we rescued in the forest?"

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Monotonous Pastimes

* * *

I found the weeks in which my recovery to place went along much faster now that Talorta was back. I had felt perpetually anxious and agitated the whole time he had been missing, and having him back was like having an amputated arm or leg returned to me. I felt whole again.

I'd imagined so many horrible things that could have happened to him... the only link I had to my past life, Talorta represented a period of time for me. One I might never be able to return to. For this reason, he was my past, my present, and also my future. And the thought of losing him and made my heart ache in a way it had only once before, and that was when I had realized any affection I could ever develop for Faerlain would only end in pain, for the both of us.

* * *

Araviniel came often to our flet now. Mirlaic was quite a gifted teacher, and out of curiosity I would sometimes sit in on their lessons. Araviniel had been a lady-in-waiting to the queen for most of her life. But the queen had passed into the Havens long ago, and she had grown so used to her position that she had stayed on as a lady-in-waiting for some of the other noble ladies. 

In a letter to her mother she had revealed a growing despondency with her life at court and had mentioned an interest in learning the practice of healing. Alphril had immediately in reply and practically demanded that she return home and study under Mirlaic's tutelage. I enjoyed Araviniel's company, and she would have been around my own age if she, too, had been human.

She was graceful and decisive in all her movements which I had long since grown accustomed too from living with Elves for so long now. (For me anyway) She did have one quality, however, that made her 'stand out' from the others in the village. She was not proud. She was one of a few who didn't look down their nose at me, or at anyone else for that matter, for being different. She was kind-hearted soul in a way that reminded me very much of both her own mother and of Mirlaic herself. She also possessed a certain elegance that made her stand apart from the simplicity of the country, and I wondered if she realized that she was a bit of a curiosity for the villagers, most of which who had probably never been to the capital city of Mirkwood itself in all of their long lives. I imagined she got almost as many stares as me sometimes.

As I gained back my strength in the weeks to follow, I would often find myself seeking out her company. I enjoyed speaking with her very much, finding we had many common interests. But I found that the subject I loved to divulge in the most was that concerning her brother.

"He's not angelic, Victoria." She told me one day, laughing she did so. "He is a good man, kind, just, honorable..." She smiled fondly. "I think he has always felt a need to protect that which he loves. For this reason, he has been enlisted for over half of his life." She glanced at me. "And that has been for a _very _long time."

What she told me of Faerlain coincided easily with what little I knew of him myself. He was an open book to me, and I was only half-way through his tale. I craved the ending, or anything I could learn about the rest, but the pages had remained stubbornly stiff until Araviniel had come.

Of course, what little I knew of him had been enough to fall in love with him. But sometimes, love can just be unpredictable like that. Then again, he had entered my life like a god, both physically and emotionally. I adored the man, frankly. So any new knowledge I was granted of him made my heart ache even more.

* * *

I helped Araviniel grind herbs one morning, I was feeling much stronger and I didn't mind helping her with some of the more menial tasks Mirlaic set her to do. "Did Faerlain ever... fall in love?" I asked hesitantly as I slowly ground some basil leaves in a marble bowl. 

Araviniel paused and turned curiously to me. "You are fond of my brother... aren't you?"

I felt heat rise to cheeks and I avoided her questioning gaze. "Of course I am fond of him... he was my greatest friend here. My only friend for a while actually." Araviniel accepted my answer with a silent nod, but the resulting silence made me doubt if she actually believed it.

"Once," She said at length, gently dicing up a long, leafy green herb as she spoke. "when he was very young."

This answer surprised me for some reason, and my curiosity would not let the matter rest. "What happened?" I asked, pausing to look at her.

Araviniel's eyes, so similar to her brother's, remained fixated on the task before her. "She didn't know of his affections, and married another before he could gather the courage to tell her on his own. He was very shy as a young man."

I felt a strange surge of emotions. Relief that this lost love had not returned his affections, frustration, perhaps, that I felt I was in a similar situation. Only I was not too shy to speak of my feelings, I just dared not. I wasn't frightened of his rejection, I was frightened instead of the consequences of such actions. It was in this way that my fear kept me silent.

Now she looked up at me cautiously. "She broke his heart, and he has never loved another." I felt suddenly uncomfortable under that piercing gaze and I shifted uncomfortably. "Victoria, I have not seen my brother in many years." She set her knife down loudly upon the counter-top and the noise aroused a questioning glance from Mirlaic, who sat seated by the fire rolling bandages. Araviniel only lowered her tone. "If there was something between you and my brother... you would tell me, wouldn't you?" She questioned softly. I pulled at the hem of my apron. "_Wouldn't_ you?" She persisted, leaning toward me.

I sighned, "If there was anything you needed to know about Faerlain, I wouldn't have hid it from you. Besides," I went back to my task. ", there is nothing to tell."

* * *

_Faerlain_

* * *

Though the chill from Mirkwood's harsh winters had never bothered me before, I imagined I shivered on occasion from its bitter sting. My company has been traveling for several weeks now, on assignment to track down a group of orcs who were reported having been seen on the border just a day or two south from Gilloth. They have evaded confrontation until now, and have instead been wreaking havoc throughout various villages lining the edges of the forest. Many of the villagers have fled deep within the forest in hope that we will be able to flush these invaders out. 

There has not been a great many casualties for either our own company, or for the victimized villagers, but even one death is severely lamented by an immortal race. We travel rather stealthily on foot, and have long since given up riding horses. The winter months are too hard on tem, who are not able to walk atop the snow as we do.

I think suddenly of Victoria and I find myself hardly aware of my surroundings as her image fixes itself in the forefront of my mind. I heard once that humans cannot walk on the snow. The thought of her trudging around the village while my own people dance upon the snow brings a sympathetic smile to my lips. I draw my cloak closer about me, more out of habit than instinct as a stiff breeze swirls the snow about us.

We will be on the march, fighting the endless battle, for a good long while to come. We all know it. If the fighting isn't too bad, we will be able to return home for the Spring Festival. But with the way things are going right now, our next has never felt such a long way off.

* * *

We didn't usually camp for very long. But it was snowing harder now and after a few days of long marches and little rest, my whole company was beginning to feel the strain. But I also felt oddly drained at the end of each day. Something else seemed to ebb at my mind that only added to my fatigue.

Victoria.

A slip of chance had allowed me to see her for that day only a few weeks past. And it had hurt me more deeply than I could have imagined to find her so ill. I knew Mirlaic would set her to rights, but seeing her so weak had unnerved me. Her skin had been almost as pale as the sheets covering her bed and served to remind me so much of the first day I had met her. Of the day when I hadn't been so sure that her life would be spared.

Most of my company was now resting in anyway that they could, but I found myself too restless and I instead volunteered for the first watch. I glanced up, startled from my thoughts as I heard soft footsteps approaching my post at the edge of camp. I discovered that the perpetrator had gotten much closer, unchallenged, then he should have. "Volunteering for the watch again are we?" Came the amused voice of Cudir, his bright eyes shining with mirth- even through the present darkness. I breathed deeply, watching as my breath curdled into steam in the frigid air, dissolving into the blackness of the sky.

"I couldn't sleep." I told him.

Cudir cocked his head curiously. "That's been happening quite often of late."

I smiled ruefully. "Does it? Are you my keeper now?"

He chuckled as he took a stance besides me. I thought of Cudir's young wife waiting for him back home. Of his unborn child. I flushed with shame when I realized I hadn't asked about her when I had visited Victoria. Quickly assessing my options, I glanced towards the forest, casually acknowledging his presence as my mind whirled with possibilities. "You know Cudir... I know many in our company are anxious for news of home. I need a messenger, seeing as our last one is too ill now."

I noted how his expression slackened in surprise at this abrupt change of topic. "Would you be interested?" I asked innocently, glancing at him again to gage his reaction. He grinned broadly and clapped me hard upon my armored shoulder.

"I'd be honored."

"Can you leave first thing in the morning?" I asked jocularly and he laughed.

"I'd leave tonight if not for this cursed storm." I knew seeing his wife would be especially treasured by him, but I wasn't only asking this of Cudir out of good will just for him. I had also wanted someone to return to the village for my own reasons.

"Could you deliver something for me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" He replied light.

I pulled a letter out from beneath the folds of my armor and I hesitantly handed it to him. "This is for the young woman who resides with Mirlaic."

Cudir's brows rose, "The mortal we rescued in the forest?" I hoped my look would ward off any questions and, after a pause, he did not ask anymore. If there was one thing I was still muddled about, it was how I felt concerning Victoria. Cudir quickly agreed and soon left me to my own thoughts.

The letter had taken me days to compose. Not because of its length, but because I had difficulty in writing what it was I wanted to say. What did I want to say? At last, some ramblings had made their way onto my parchment, and I had only waited for an opportune moment to deliver it. What Curdir didn't know was that I kept both that letter, and its intended recipient, close to me heart.

Always.

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

I found my senses rapidly dulled by the monotony of winter. The thick snow kept me indoors most of the time and when I did venture out, it was only to visit with Elenowen or Alphril. Aravineil practically lived at Mirlaic's now, so I saw her all the time anyway. Having an eternity to learn what she needed about Healing didn't seem to faze her. She insisted on learning as much as she could, as fast as she could, and use this new knowledge efficiently. 

We became pretty good friends in the weeks that followed. She would often accompany me to visit Elenowen and found immeasurable delight in tiny Turwithiel. For as I was learning, there had not been an infant in the village for quite some time. She was fascinated with the concept of creation and of new life.

"I don't think you can quite grasp how stale this life can be at times. Children provide refreshing relief for us." She nudged me. "In a way similar to you I suppose. I imagine," She continued. "...that my brother found a similar fascination when he met you."

As you can imagine, I found myself speechless in reply.

So the winter wore on. I guess I didn't mind the snow itself. Dreaming or not, it was the same as back home. I pursued a new hobby to pass the time: drawing. Not having much else to occupy my days when I wasn't visiting with my new friends, I'd like to say I became quite good at it. I'd make Araviniel in particular pose quite often for me for practice. I mean, I had painted back home- but that seemed like a lifetime ago. So this didn't develop out of no where, I just didn't have any time to devote to it when I had been home. That situation had changed.

I began to draw just about everything, besides the lovely ladies surrounding me. The flet, the hearth, the window in my bedroom. Ana in particular liked to pose for me, magical child that she was. She looked like a pixie, star-flowers strewn through her hair, she enjoyed dressing up for me and sitting as still as she possibly could as I sketched her. I drew Mirlaic, smiling as she sewed or knitted, I'd envision on parchment when the star-flower trees would look like come spring, or how Faerlain had looked that first day I had met him in the forest.

I had received no word from him for several weeks now, and even if I had known how to get a letter to him, I didn't even know how to begin one. While yes, we had established our friendship, a letter seemed forward somehow. Equally nerve-wracking was the terrifying silence regarding news of the war. We hadn't had a messenger in several weeks now either.

It was isolating, to say the least.

We had no way to find out what was happening, good or bad, and we were all starving for any knowledge at all.

I had recently drawn a sketch of Faerlain before he'd left that bitter autumn afternoon months before. One day I envisioned I could draw him returning, but in the mean time, I imagined instead the way he smiled, the warmth of his hands.

Maybe it would be spring then, maybe this war would be over.

Maybe.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	13. Letters

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Are you Victoria Knightengale?"

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

Letters

* * *

I was at Elenowen's when I heard the knock at her door. I was in the kitchen, slicing up herbs for dinner when Elenowen changed Turwithiel into some fresh clothes in the back room. The noise startled me a tad, and I pricked my finger and the knife slipped for a moment in my hand. Gasping slightly, I stuck my finger in my mouth, soothing the slight throb with a few gentle caresses from my tongue. 

Another commodity I found myself lacking just then: band-aids. "I'll get it." I called to her. I could see her hunched figure over her baby's bed. She nodded to me and, wiping my hands on my apron, wrapping my wound in a corner of the fabric. I wondered who would risk traveling through the storm.

A quick glance outside told me that the biting winds and snow hadn't stopped at all. Bracing myself for the cold, I opened the door and quickly ushered the stranger on the doorstep in. I shivered as I hastily latched the door and rubbed my hands together.

"What can I get you sir?" I asked him, recognizing his light armor as those the messengers wore on the rare occasions they visited Gilloth. The stranger had fair skin and eyes and the dark hair I had become accustomed to. I couldn't place his face, though I was confused by the perplexity I found etched in his expression. His calm eyes traveled to my ears and I cocked my head quizzically before he turned his gaze back to me.

"Are you Victoria Knightengale?" His voice was soft and deep.

I nodded in surprise. "Yes. But how did you...?"

A small smile appeared upon his flushed face. "There aren't many mortals in Gilloth, Faerlain told me about you."

My eyes widened, "_Faerlain_?"

He nodded and then glanced eagerly into the flet, "Yes, but first tell me, where is my wife?"

* * *

Elenowen practically threw herself into her husband's arms once she had appeared at the bedroom door, curious to see who had been demanding my attention. I smiled as I watched them embrace. Cudir was speechless as he held his wide tightly in his arms and he closed his eyes. 

I felt a sudden warmth in my cheeks, wondering if Faerlain would ever hold me like that. If his eyes would shine when they saw me even though, deep down, I knew he should never do any of those things. Because, like it or not, it could only end in heartbreak, for both of us.

I felt a sense of intrusion as Elenowen led her husband into their bedroom where little Turwithiel lay, peacefully sleeping. I hurriedly cleared the herbs I had been cutting and gathered my cloak from the hooks by the door. I had no idea how long Cudir would be home, or why he was able to come at all on leave, but that wasn't any of my business now. Though I would be anxiously wondering all night what Faerlain had said about me.

Bracing myself for the cold, I quietly slipped out the door.

* * *

I was right. I spent the night listlessly tossing and turning in bed. What had Faerlain said of me? Was he well? Did he think often of me? Did he think of me at all? I felt impulsive and star-struck. The simple fact that he had mentioned my name sent my heart reeling. 

Unfortunately, when I heard the knock at my door, my common sense couldn't tell me otherwise and I flew to the door in a blur of skirts and dark tresses. As I had expected (or hoped, rather) Cudir was standing in the entranceway. The sharp breeze tugged at his dark hair and his uniform, but he smiled disarmingly and I invited him in, my heart in my throat. As he sat down and, bustling out, Mirlaic greet him warmly and offered to make us tea.

I sat opposite of him and gazed with admiration at his armor. It had been a while since I had seen its equal and I thought fondly of how handsome Faerlain had looked the last time we had seen each other. "I apologize for my intrusion." He began. "We were never really properly introduced, please forgive me for my lack of propriety."

I smiled at this apology, wondering why the guys here were so much more polite that the ones back home. If I was really dreaming, then this of course makes sense because I was thinking of perfect men. Chivalrous, honest, good-looking; though I was beginning to think this was just an elf thing. "Don't worry about it, I think you had other matters on your mind. Completely understandable."

"Well, I did come back for a specific purpose." He said. "My company commander appointed me messenger and tomorrow morning I'll be riding to several villages before finally meeting up with my company again at the palace. I'm leaving tomorrow morning after I report to the village elders about the news we've gathered about the war."

"I'm sorry you won't be able to spend more time with Elenowen... but why are you telling me all of this?"

Cudir retrieved a satchel that was fastened to his belt with leather ties. "So you would understand that, though my trip here was not made just to deliver this letter to you, it was one of the important aspects of it. Faerlain is my commander, he asked me to give this to you." He pulled out a thick batch of parchment, folded neatly with my name on the cover. My cheeks flushed with warmth as I took the parching delicately in my hands, wondering if it would disappear, wondering if I was only dreaming.

I glanced up at him, my mouth agape, astonished by Faerlain's letter and the trouble Cudir had taken to deliver it.

"As I said, I'm leaving in the morning. I can stop by if you'd like to send a reply."

I clutched the letter tightly , "Thank you- I will."

* * *

I was almost afraid of reading Faerlain's letter. Realizing that he was thinking of me sent shoots of excitement throughout my entire body. I sat by the window in my bedroom, holding the letter to my heart as I watched the snow fall. The fading light twinkled through the trees, making them sparkle- falling stars drifting through the trees. Sighing, I broke the seal on the parchment and, running my fingertips over the carefully printed letters, I began to read: 

_Victoria,_

_Pardon my boldness. Usually a elf asks permission from a maiden's father before he writes to her. Since I could not find yours, I hope Mirlaic's blessing will suffice. I have thought often of you since I last saw you and I pray you are well again by the time this letter reaches you. The days grow shorter and shorter and though I never feel the cold, I smile sometimes thinking of you shivering, waiting on the doorstep for me. I'm sitting by a warm fire now, and though lembas are a poor substitute for my mother's fine cooking, we shall never go hungry. _

_There has been little conflict lately, but rumors are flying throughout the camps though, to us, this war seems sometimes only a speck on the distant horizon. I wish, however, to speak of far more pleasant things, of music, of literature, of Mirkwood in the Spring. Lately these things had been of little interest to me and I find too often that, instead, my thoughts turn only to you._

_If all goes well, we will return in the Spring. But for the first time in my life, so short a time-span, feels like a lifetime. _

* * *

Faerlain spoke of how the forest grew darker and more foreboding as they retreated into its depths, searching for any enemies that they could. Of how the monotony of travel without confrontation was edging at his mind, goading his restlessness in a way he had never experienced. He said he couldn't wait to see me again. 

And it didn't take me long to write my reply.

* * *

_Faerlain_

* * *

It was eery, for but a few skirmishes we had hardly seen any orcs at all. For orcs especially, this was unusual. While the lack of action meant we had little, of any, casualties. But it also meant that we were beginning to feel more and more impatient for when we could return home. The knowledge that, even if we saw no action, we were still on active duty until, at least, the Spring Festival. 

I damned this war, as the days passes listlessly on. When Cudir finally rejoined us outside the palace, I clapped him heartedly back. "It is good to have you back." I told him as he began to pass out various letters to the men of our company. He called upon me last. I stared at the parchment he handed to me.

"What... didn't you think she would reply?" He joked as he studied my stunned face.

"I hoped that she would." I replied, concealing my relief as I slid the letter into a satchel at my side. "I wasn't sure if she would though."

Cudir laughed, "You too seem right fond of each other... why so much hoping?"

I smiled sadly. "I believe you've deduced on your own, my friend, that there is much more than just simply complications with our-" I paused, choosing the right word to say. "... friendship."

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

I would like to say that Faerlain and I wrote often to each other during that long winter, but it didn't happen that way. I did not hear from him again whilst snow covered the ground. The days passed slowly, rolling uneventfully into the other. Though I enjoyed immensely the company of Elenowen and Araviniel, receiving no further word from him besides the rumors that drifted from village to village was tormenting.

I continued with my drawing, working out it to stifle the boredom and restlessness that I experienced too frequently for my taste. I was healthy again at least, though a little thinner that usual. Overall, life had returned back to normal.

If you call living with a community of people that might not be real, falling in love with a billion year old elf, and preparing for a war that I knew nothing about.

Normal was the pervading silence that smothered the village. That's what was normal for me.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	14. Green Leaves

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**... I couldn't do _anything_. I'm so sorry...so very sorry."

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

Green Leaves

* * *

Eventually the snow gradually began to melt. The air still held its frosty quality, but I distinctly remember the day whereupon, riding home, I had felt the sharp splatter of rain over the feathery touch of a snowflake. 

One of the qualities of Spring's return to Mirkwood. What pleased me the most, however, was the mud. Because, though Elves look great on top of the snow, no one looks regal when sludging through the mud.

* * *

I continued with my drawing. There weren't exactly crayons or colored pencils in Gilloth, but I made out well with just plain quill and ink and something that resembled a thick lead pencil. If your at all interested in that sort of thing, the scenery of Gilloth was amazing. Even the forest had it's own beauty locked deep within the menacing trees, with their thick bark and dark leaves. I don't know why exactly I learned to draw. I guess sometimes I felt Gilloth was all I knew of this world, whether it be a dream or reality. It was just so strange, and I suppose drawing the things around me was my only way of escaping my confinement and exploring this place all around me. 

I would ride Talorta out everyday to the old willow tree where Faerlain used to give me lessons. There I would sit under it's comforting branches and draw everything and anything I saw that possessed a beauty of it's own. I had grown into the habit of stuffing a saddle bag full of my creations. This I would sling over Talorta's broad shoulders every time I went for a ride...just in case.

My particular favorite was one I had drawn of Turwethiel and Elenowen. They had been sitting by the stream, the elfling in her mother's arms. Little Turwethiel had been staring at the water with wide eyes and a face that only came once, when one experienced something wonderful for the very first time. Her silence that day was my only token of her amazement. Elenowen had been looking down fondly at her, her eyes bursting with love. Her dark hair shone as the sun reflected on it, framing her face so that she looked like an angel.

I never showed it to anyone. I don't know whether it was out of jealousy, or out of some emotion that I was unaware of. But most of my pictures, remained hidden deep inside me, a part of myself I could show to no one. Mirlaic once said, "A picture speaks wisdom and beauty with a thousand words." I guess she was right. Besides Mirlaic and Araviniel, no one knew of my new found passion. So I kept it that way. I spent most of my time alone, for ever the friendliest Elf cannot always comfort the tormented soul of a lost mortal. Too poetic to describe me I suppose, but it was how the words described me. And it was what I was.

"Talorta, stop eating my paper!" I scolded as his freckled nose nudged through my saddle bag which lay by my side. He froze, turning his great big head and staring at me through his large brown eyes. They were innocent eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. I wondered what words he would have used if he too could speak. I looked once more at the stream, I had been lost in thought, scribbling away at a picture without really noticing it.

It was of Faerlain.

I blushed, folding it quickly and shoving it into my bag. Rising, I brushed myself off and looked around. The time spent at the flet now was mostly for lessons from Mirlaic and Araviniel. I absorbed everything I could about Middle Earth, anything they could tell or teach me, I listened to. Sometimes I felt like a caged animal in this village, but if I imagined hard enough, I could picture this entire world that was still so foreign and new to me.

"I guess we should head back." I slung the saddle bag over his shoulders and with the assistance of a log, slid onto his back. He started back through the woods towards the village when I felt very cold all of a sudden, having the distinct feeling that I was being watched. We were near the borders of the forest when I suddenly heard cries from deep within it. I slowed Talorta and stared into its depths.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Silence was my reply. Dead silence. Which was strange, where had all the birds gone? Where were the animals that scurried about on the forest floor? Mirkwood was a dark place, but the forest was not dead. It as alive with all sorts of creatures and just then they all seemed to had disappeared. I nudged Talorta forward, the crying had stopped. But I shuddered again as we move on. And we left the forest with not a single sound coming from behind us.

* * *

"Victoria, have you seen Ana?" Elenowen asked as I rode into the village square.

"No, I was by the stream." I said, I was going to laugh until the expression on her face silenced it. She was worried.

"It's probably nothing, she's just out playing with her friends is probably all." She looked up at me, concern blanketing his face. "I've been looking for her for a while, she left after noon with our horse and hasn't come back since."

I frowned, "That's not like Ana."

"I'm sure she's fine..." Elenowen said quickly, "But its just not like her, as you said. She rode out towards the forest."

"I'll go take a quick look for her."

Relief flooded into Elenowen's face. "Thank you so much Victoria, you are a good friend."

I smiled down at her, whirling Talorta around and then cantered back to the forest. As we neared the dense trees, the utter silence sent shivers down my spine. "_Ana_!" I shouted, the air so thick that no echo could be heard in reply. We wandered further inside when suddenly I heard rapidly approaching hoofbeats. Elenowen's horse bolted from our left and crashed into Talorta's side. The horse's eyes were wide with wild fright as it fell to it's knees after it's collision, stumbling back to it's feet. And then continuing its mad bolt back to the village.

Talorta was breathing deeply and I patted his neck, the other horse probably knocked the wind from his chest. Luckily, Elenowen's horse was not large, known only for it's speed so Talorta wasn't badly hurt, only bruised. And since the horse had crashed into Talorta's shoulder, I was otherwise unharmed. Fear welled up in my throat as I spurred Talorta in the direction the horse had come from.

"Ana!" I screamed. What was going on?

It was then I heard wailing from further in, and I pushed Talorta forward. I noticed the growl from the bushes too late to react. Before I could do anything a huge monster emerged, it looked like an over sized wolf with a back problem. It's eyes were small and dark, it's fangs huge, dripping with saliva as it roared at me. Talorta reared, starting at the sight of it and backing up. It snarled and yapped as it circled us, and then... it charged.

I froze in fright and my gaze turned upward toward the thing sitting upon it's back. It had pale grey skin with a metal bar covering it's right eye and screwed into it's skull. I couldn't speak, and as I tried to scream, no words would wrench themselves from my throat. It wore black, funny looking armor with lots of pikes and sharp objects ejecting from it. A jagged sword was held out before it as it charged at me.

I don't know what happened, but I was frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe and with panic growing in my mind I realized that I was going to die. Talorta flattened his ears as the monster approached and lunged out at it with his front hooves. I slid from his back as I lost my balance and hit the ground with a painful thud.

My mind swam as I scrambled to return to the light. I could vaguely hear Talorta squealing, and the snarls of the monster as they fought. It was a living nightmare, I wanted to scream and to wake up. But I couldn't.

You never wake up from nightmares when you want to.

I struggled to push myself up...I grabbed a large branch at my feet as I straighted on my legs which were shaking violently. I couldn't move...I blinked. I was terrified out of my mind. And then something happened that will haunt me forever. Both beast and monster turned to me, shoving Talorta out of the way, they grinned.

My heart pounded fiercely against my chest, my lungs ready to burst. _I wasn_'_t suppose to face something like this._ It was like in a book I read once, fear quenches all thoughts or hopes of bravery. This world couldn't be real. I would wake up...and it would all be gone. But it wasn't gone, and I wasn't dreaming. For that demon was sure as hell going to kill me. The monster started to charge. I could think of nothing except my own fear stabbing daggers inside of me, I couldn't breathe, couldn't scream.

And in one final, desperate attempt, I ran.

Crashing through the bushes, and I could hear them following me from behind. I swerved, backtracking and heading for the edge of the woods once more. From then on I have always hated tree roots with a passion, for as I ran, one tripped me. I fell.

I faced the monster with the stick held out in front of me. And that was when I squinted my eyes tight. It would over any second now- I didn't even know how I could possibly defend myself, I couldn't. Fear crippled me and I found myself frozen as the monster's face leered at me through the brush.

_Three...two...one..._ There was a crash as the monster stumbled, it roared and snarled and its ghastly rider cursed in a guttural language I had never heard before. The stick was torn from my grasp, twisting the wrist which had guarded it and sending bolts of pain up through my arm. Something sticky...something wet was on my fingers. I heard a heavy thud that made me sick.

Right before I passed out.

When I opened my eyes again, Talorta was hovering over me. His freckled nose was nudging my still body with concern. I sat up, looking around. The monster lay dead, as well as his rider. My stick protruding from its throat. The grey beast looked like he had hit a tree, his eyes were open and staring unseeing at me with surprise, it's neck was misshapened. I took one more look at the corpses, and then at the dark blood that had run down my arm to my hand. Then I emptied the contents of my stomach with a wretching heave.

* * *

My throat burned, the taste of acid coating my mouth. I wiped my lips on my sleeve, sweat intermingled with salty tears coated my cheeks. I turned my pale face to the woods and called for Ana, feeling sudden panic as I realized I had no idea where she was. 

I carefully avoiding looking at the corpses. I heard the wailing again and I staggered to my feet, weakly scrambling up on Talorta's back and urging him shakily towards the cries. It was there, though those dark trees, that I found Ana. She was sobbing uncontrollably with one of her legs twisted horribly. She looked up at me with wild eyes as we cantered over to her and let out another cry. This time it was of relief as I dismounted and ran to her, hugging her close to my chest.

I couldn't feel anything except Ana, huddled in my arms, as we reached the village once more. I was hunched over in my saddle, my eyes starting to close as Talorta finally plodded wearily into the village sqaure. It was dusk now, and the monster's dark blood was smeared across my face and arms. I rode slowly towards to Elenowen's house, and upon reaching it I called for her. "Elenowen!" I shouted hoarsely, my arm stinging as I dizzily struggled to stay mounted. I called for her again, rousing the other villagers for their flets.

Elenowen flew from her door and gasped, her hand flying to her mouth as she fought to hold back a strangled cry. "Victoria, Ana!" She cried in alarm. I had trouble concentrating on anything besides clutching to Ana's frozen body and to keep from getting sick everywhere as my own fear curdled still within me.

Mirlaic followed her from the house, her face set in stone as Elenowen pried Ana from my rigid grasp and Mirlaic rushed to my side. Talorta started at the villagers as they congregated around us and I thought of how that beast had charged me. How I could think of nothing, could do nothing, but lay helpless as it had barred its fangs. More than ready to end my life.

I slid from the horse, crumbling to my knees and heaving again in the snow, though I was sure there was no longer anything in my stomach to throw up. The tears came again and I distantly felt Mirlaic at my side, urging my to get up. I shivered, "I couldn't do anything..." I sobbed. "... I couldn't do _anything_. I'm so sorry...so very sorry."

I don't remember much else, someone picked me up I think- and I clawed desperately at the dark blood staining my arms. At some point, Mirlaic whispered to me, easing my trembling hands. I remember her warmth as she gently washed the grime from my body.

I heard voices, saw hazy figures around me.

And then nothing.

* * *

I awoke late the next day, or so I gathered from the bright light streaming in through my window. I sat up slowly, wincing as a sharp reminder jolted up through my arm. Propped up on my elbows, I examined my freshly bandaged arms curiously. Both my arms were bandaged, the one I had sprained more tightly than the other.

My soiled clothes had been exchanged for a nightgown and I almost couldn't smell its stench anymore. Almost. I sat up all the way as I began to hear voices in the foyer just outside of my bedroom door. There was a dress laid out for me at the foot of the bed, but I felt too disoriented to try and put it on. I opted instead for a robe and swept loose strands of hair away from my face.

I shivered as I padded slowly across the cold, wooden floors until I slipped my feet into some slippers. I walked quietly from my bedroom, announcing my presence in Mirlaic's common room with the soft creaking of my bedroom door. There were several elves seated, some standing, by the hearth within. All turned to face me as I stepped out and closed the door behind me.

"Victoria." Came Mirlaic's gentle voice, floating across the room towards me as she appeared at my side. "You look better." She informed me quietly and I squeezed her hand in reply. "The elders have some questions for you." She told me and nodded towards the elves sternly watching me from their places.

One moved to let me sit, and I thanked him softly as I took the seat and answered whatever questions I could from them. There was only one monster- orc as I was informed. I shuddered as I realized that those _things_ were what Faerlain was fighting at this very moment. After I recounted the events to them as carefully as I could, they deduced that the orc must have been a scout. They asked me if I had really killed it, and I nodded.

They asked me I could find the body, to confirm their suspicions. "I could try." I offered meekly. Mirlaic squeezed my shoulders.

"Body or no, we need to be prepared for whatever comes."

"Agreed." Said one of the elders. "We'll build defenses immediately."

* * *

I had left deep scratches on my arms from my frantic clawing that's what the bandages had been for. After another day I was beginning to feel like my old self again and in far less worse shape that poor Ana, though she was healing fast as well. 

Gilloth built its defenses. While we had not received any real news for some time, rumors of attacks spread like fire throughout the forest. Everyone knew what kind of dangers awaited us if we were really attacked. (I myself had a much better idea of what this war was like now.)

I helped in any way that I could. The villagers were very methodical and precise about the whole business- it was obvious that they had done this before. The elder men sharpened their arrows and children sharpened sticks into miniature spears. For days, sentries were posted and the villagers remained alert and armed through the night.

The days passed. After two weeks the tension eased and though no one let down their guard entirely, life did begin to return to business as usual. But the remaining battlements surrounding the village served as a chilling reminder.

If the orcs were still a threat to us, than this war, which so many loved ones fought in, was far from over.

So _very_ far.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	15. A Festival

**JkDisclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**_Faerlain_?"

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

A Festival

* * *

I can't recall the exact time when I knew Spring had really returned to Mirkwood. It may have been one bright, day when a few elven boys came running out of the forest with various pieces of orc armor in their hands. They led several of the villagers to the spot where its carcass lay. Armed with several maps of the surrounding forest, predominantly of Gilloth, were found amongst its possessions. My account confirmed, several of the village elders came to Mirlaic's flet to thank me personally for my bravery. 

I would never say it, but bravery had nothing to do with that orc's death. I still had nightmares over what happened that day and though Ana's leg had long since healed, the scars on my arms had not yet disappeared.

Araviniel left shortly after the attack, following rumors of battles in the south. She wanted to help with the wounded in any way that she could, even though her training was not yet completed. Turwithiel grew, ever so slightly, in the months following her birth and Elenowen seemed all the brighter since her last visit with Cudir. The battlements remained erected even as the snow dampened into mud and the trees began to sprout leaves once more. My wrist had healed nicely after a few weeks and I was soon again going about drawing whatever I could.

I tried not to think about the way too often. If the rumors were true, then things weren't going well for us. We hadn't had another messenger since Cudir's visit, but that had been at least three months ago. The war, of course, was never spoken of besides in whispers amongst the villagers. There were too many of Gilloth's sons out fighting in it and their absence was sorely missed even by myself, a stranger still to this place.

But the rebirth of Spring renewed Hope within me and I drifted beneath Gilloth's star-trees not quite content, but temporarily satisfied. The return of life to the village was infectious. One couldn't help but be happy, if only for a little while.

* * *

Ana sat with my under the willow one day, by the stream. The water sparkled in the sunlight and I welcomed its long, overdo warmth. Ana, her feet bare, waded in the shallow water- her green dress tied up about her knees. I watched as she laughed, sketching the sparkle in her eyes and the mirth that tugged playfully at the quiet corners of her mouth. 

She was setting a few star-flowers afloat down the stream and I smiled as she tenderly caressed each one, persuading a soft glow from their cream colored petals. She looked up suddenly and I smiled as I noted the slight twitch of her pointed ears. "Someone's coming." She said, holding a hand up to shield her eyes from the blinding light.

I closed my notebook and peered around the willow's trunk to see the unannounced visitor. "Suilad, Victoria." Came Alphril's soothing voice.

Ana's body visibly relaxed, which had stiffened moments before at the approach of someone she didn't recognize. I stood as she stopped beside me, and, slipping my sketches into my satchel, I greeted her. Alphril nodded to Ana and the little girl smiled in reply.

"I thought this place was my secret, but you seemed to have found us easily enough." I told her jovially.

Alphril shook her head, her eyes glinting mischievously. "No... this spot has been known to many a young lover, thought it has been many years since I last rested beneath these boughs. Faerlain showed you this spot, didn't he?"

"He used to take me here for my lessons."

"I thought so, it always was one of his favorite places as a child. I imagine that hasn't changed very much." There was something in her smile that hinted at something lacking from her explanation, but I didn't think much of it at the time. She turned to Ana,

"Come, Ana. I should like for you to follow me home."

Little Ana looked up, bright eyes shining. "Why?" She asked, stepping obediently out of the water as she did so. Aphril gently plucked a star-flower from an overhead branch and tucked it behind the little girl's ear.

"I should like you to help me deliver something." Ana slipped her tiny feet into her soft soled shoes.

"To whom?" She asked, skipping forward and taking Alphril's hand.

"Are you stealing my friend?" I joked as Alphirl turned her back towards the village. She glanced back over her shoulder at me. "A package came today." She said. "For Victoria." She leaned down and whispered something in the little girl's ear and Ana giggled.

My eyes widened, I called for Talorta and scrambled up on his back as they continued walking. Once we had caught up I slowed him abruptly and stared down at Aphril. "A package... for me? Really?"

She chuckled and nodded. "It arrived this morning."

Ana skipped slightly. "Oh, lets do hurry up! I don't think I know of anyone whose received a package before."

* * *

I loved the way Alphril's shop smelled; of spices, herbs, new fabric, and sweets. It reminded me of Faerlain. I loved to stand there and soak it all up whenever I visited her, which was more often than not since Araviniel had left to help with the wounded. The shop itself never really seemed to change, the shelves stocked with fabrics, tools, sweets. It was like a little old-fashioned _Adams_ or something.

There was a long table towards the back that served as a sort of counter/register. And was set just to the right of a door that went into the back room where she kept extra supplies and any mail that came in through here. "Here it is." She said, I was sat down in the large chair by the hearth, vacant of any flames of course for it was perfectly beautiful out.

The package was actually a rather large wooden box. Made from what looked like white, Dogwood bark. Of this I wasn't certain however, because...well...do Dogwoods even grow in Middle-Earth? "Who is it from?" I asked her as she set it down on a small table before me.

She sat down opposite of me and set Ana on her lap. "You'd have to open it up to find out, wouldn't you?"

I turned it over, shook it a little. But upon hearing nothing, I peered suspiciously at it and looked up at her again. She was laughing, "Iell you look like a little Elfling on the winter festival. Go on, open it!"

I turned it right side-over, there was a leather binding that secured the lid. I untied it. Inside was a soft piece of large green leaves. I lifted them up, and then stopped, my mouth dropped in astonishment. It was a dress, and not just any dress. It was _THE_ dress.

Soft blue, like the stream under the willow shining in the summer sun. And what looked like flowers, star-flowers rather, were imprinted on the bodice and down the sleeves. It also had a belt woven of the same design, only in a pale silver, was wrapped around the waist. I ran my fingers over the silken material and I gingerly lifted it up. My eyes widened with wonder. I held it close to me, running my eyes over it again and again."It's beautiful." I whispered, quite at a loss for words.

"There's more." Ana said, now in front of me and pointing underneath where the dress had lain. There was a crown. A crown of soft green leaves and fresh flowers in an array of pastel pinks, blues, greens, and silvers. I set the dress down on my lap and then lifted the crown from it's place. I found that it had long strings of flowers that hung down from it and that would flow through my hair.

"Who did this?" I asked in astonishment.

Ana was gently touching the flowers of the grown and staring at it with eyes that were wide as my own. Then she peered inside the box and, reaching inside, pulled out some parchment. "There's a letter, Victoria." She said. I set the dress down gently on my lap and, upon reading my name inscribed on the front, my heart began to race as I recognized Faerlain's handwriting.

_Victoria,_

_We were stationed briefly at the palace and I saw this dress and thought of you. Hopefully I'll see you in it very soon, but do wear it to the festival in the meantime. _

_Always,_

_Faerlain_

Ana giggled and traced the flower designs. "That's very romantic." She told me. I nodded in agreement, still too stunned to speak. I traced flowers on the bodice again before gently folding it once more. Then I looked back up at her. "Then I'll have to go, won't I?" A grin seeped onto my face as Ana giggled and Alphril laughed.

"I just have one question, what exactly is this festival?"

* * *

"The Spring Festival is an ancient tradition of the Elves." Alphril explained as she served us some hot tea. "When young female Elves come of age, twenty years or so, they are presented to the village as young women." 

"Presented?" I asked her, sipping my tea.

"Yes, there is dancing and singing, and it would not be the first time a young Elf has proposed to one of the presented. You could describe it as a sort of, coming out. Saying to all that these maidens are adults in the eyes of the village and are old enough to marry. It is celebrated throughout Mirkwood."

We had fallen silent, thinking about the festival and I looking dreamily outside at my horse who was grazing contentedly next to the Elven mare's side. "When does the festival take place?"

"In the third week of Lothron." She looked at me and smiled, "That's in about four days."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Four days!?"

Alphril laughed, "Yes my dear, the preparations began last week. It is a very special occasion because it doesn't happen often, every century or so."

"But that can't be right... this is an Elvish tradition-" I stammered. I imagined every 'presentation' I could think of back home. We called them, 'coming out' parties. But me? In this dress? I couldn't even imagine it. "I can't be presented! I mean...it wouldn't be right..."

"Why?" Alphril asked, smiling at my speechlessness. _Damn, it wasn't my fault they wouldn't come out right!_

"Well first of all, aren't I just a little bit..young?"

Now Alphril laughed, "In the ways of your people, you are dawning on the age of womanhood. It is your time now."

"But...I'm...well, I'm_not_ an Elf, that's for sure."

"We have already discussed this with the Elders of the village. They feel like you have earned this honor."

"But...but..."

"Running out of excuses?" Mirlaic asked mischievously as she stepped through the door. I glanced at her, still too stunned for words. "We've been planning this for you for a long time my dear." I looked at both of them, and then at Ana. She was gazing expectantly at me. I sighed and then shrugged, "How I can I refuse?"

* * *

I woke early one morning the day before the festival. Mirlaic had spent the previous two days explaining to me what I was supposed to do for the ceremony, the things I should say, how I should act, etc.. I felt like it was all going over my head actually, but in the blur of the moment I hadn't really had time to think on any of it. 

It had only dawned on me this morning that the whole purpose of this festival was to prepare young maidens for marriage. Why was I even doing this then? For laughs? To have a good time? I would die before any of those maidens even had children, what then? I slipped outside to the forest and I walked barefooted through a small orchard of star-trees.

I let one tear slide down my cheek, but just one. Purpose or no, I was not going to let anything spoil this day tomorrow. I rubbed my arms, searching for warmth. And I missed the embrace of one who could have given that to me.

* * *

I felt like I was going to puke. I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking, my words refused to come out without stuttering. I couldn't think straight. Araviniel had faced me away from the mirror and I was squirming like a child under her and Mirlaic's steady hands. 

I couldn't see much of anything as Mirlaic laced up the back of the dress. Then Alphril set out to doing my hair while I sat silently trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach.

I didn't see much of myself at all that morning, I was too preoccupied with whether or not I was indeed going to be sick. "For goodness sake child, it's a festival! Not an execution."

"I know, I'm just nervous."

Mirlaic had lifted the crown from the box and had now settled it upon my head. I could feel her arranging it just so, and twisting my hair into perfection. "There." Ana, appearing at my side, took my hand, and upon standing, led me over to the mirror. What I saw... to make the biggest understatement of the year...was not what I had been expecting.

"Do you think she's ready Mirlaic?" Alphril asked, a smile spreading wide across her fair features.

I was staring dumbly into the mirror, my eyes were wide and unblinking. Who was that woman staring back at me through the looking glass? Where was Victoria? Vic I had been to Zachary. Zach...I wondered if he could see me now. About to be presented to a village of people who back home, didn't even exist. I hoped he was watching me now.

"She's ready." Mirlaic squeezed my shoulder. "Are you all right iell?"

"Yes Victoria, what do you think?" asked Araviniel.

"Frankly, who is that stunning creature." I said pointing to my reflection. "And where is that flea bag you call Victoria?"

* * *

The Festival opens with all the young female Elves lining up just outside the village square. They stand, one at a time, before the elders the Elders who are seated in a semi-circle in the center of the village. The female elf announced her name and her age. Then one of the Elders whispers a blessing in Quenya. (A language that was used only for special occasions and that I knew not one word of.) Mirlaic and Alphril were both Elders. After the blessing was given, the female elf was presented with a wreath of specially woven flowers that looked very similar to an Hawaiian lei. They were then given a name that will be used in their adult lives. 

There were eight maidens, I made it nine. No rules about mortals had ever been established, you only had to be single and at least nineteen. I was the very last in line and I swore I thought everyone could hear my heart beating fiercely against my chest.

_Just breath Victoria, breathe._

I could see Elenowen, Ana, and baby Turwithiel in the sidelines. I couldn't hear the words being said to the young Elves as each in turn were presented, but I didn't particularly care at that point. I didn't watch as the crowd clapped when each one turned from the platform, away from the Elders as a woman, not an Elfling anymore. Then, it was my turn. Mirlaic stood and approached me as I stepped up to the semi-circle. She said the soft, Elvish words with her hands on my shoulders.

"Don't be nervous." She whispered once she had finished.

"I'm not." I whispered back.

She smiled, then turned me around so I faced the crowd. "Never before has a mortal partaken in this special ceremony." She said, her voice firm and strong. "However, Victoria has become a part of this village. She is like a daughter to me and a friend to many. I ask you all, as children of the Valar to welcome her as she begins her new life here with us."

There was dead silence.

My heart stopped beating. I searched the faces of the Elves standing around, no one moved. Then, very softly, I heard clapping. It was Ana. Turwethiel, seeing her sister, did the same. Elenown grinned and then joined them. It was like a wave. Very soft as first, but then everyone was clapping as it grew. I could hear cheers, shouts of good will. Mirlaic was by now hugging me tightly. I had tears in my as I hugged her back.

"Welcome home Victoria, Welcome to Gilloth." Mirlaic said as she released me and looked deep into my eyes. Who would have figured I'd been so happy to be accepted here? I wasn't just a mortal girl anymore. I was Victoria, I was here because of who and what I was. I was me. Was this world even real? Frankly, I didn't give a damn...at all.

"What's her new name?" Shouted Elenowen and the crowd silenced as I looked up at Mirlaic. She in turn glanced at the Elders who nodded. She looked back at me.

"You are Victoria, my child, you forever shall and will be. But a part of you belongs here now. With us." She gestured to the Elves gathered. Alphril handed her a lei, woven of pastel green and blue flowers. Some of which were Star-Flowers. Then she looked at the crown, smiled and said, "You shall be called, _Tinuviel_." She said loudly. Then, looking at me she said softly as she draped the lei around my neck. "Daughter of Twilight."

The Elves clapped again and Mirliac kissed my cheek. "Thank you." I said, my eyes burning with a threat of tears.

She embraced me tightly, "You will forever be in my heart Victoria." She replied, rubbing my back. As she released me, an Elder stepped forward and faced the crowd.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let the celebration begin!"

* * *

I don't believe I have ever felt such joy as I stepped down from the semi-circle of Elders and hugged my friends as they all crowded around me. The music began and with it, the dancing. But suddenly just as the music started to get slightly faster, some of the female Elves started to shout. Their cries, muffled by the music, deafened in my ears as I saw one, all too familiar figure appear beneath the star-trees, flanked by several warriors. 

"_The warriors have returned! They've returned!_"

I hardly noticed anything at all as I stared at the figure who now approached, walking over to me and I, frozen in my place, could say or do nothing as I watched him.

"Hello Victoria." The someone said softly.

I blinked, this couldn't be real. I _must_ be dreaming. This wasn't happening. I couldn't speak for fear this fantasy would be cruelly torn from me.

"Are you just going to stand there? Do I not at least get a thank you for that marvelous dress?"

I finally found words, they came out in a whisper, I couldn't manage anything more. Oh please, let it be true.

"_Faerlain_?"

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	16. Dancing

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Do you trust me?**"**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

Dancing

* * *

"_Victoria_?"

I couldn't move. My eyes were fixed upon his face. A face I had dreamed of for so long. Oh, would someone please pinch me? If this was all a dream, let me never wake up. Even if I was to just stand here looking at him forever.

I don't know exactly what happened after that, but suddenly I was running to him and I jumped into his arms. He was laughing, and twirling me around. I clung to his warmth, basked in his presence. The familiar smell of horses and leather consumed me. Tears were falling down my cheeks and I didn't dare stop them.

"Now what are these?" He asked softly as he set me down once more. "Regret to see an old friend?"

I smiled, holding his arms tightly. "Never. I missed you more then words can say."

"Well milady, might I say first that you look exquisite in that dress." He held me out at arms length to examine me and then held my arm up so that I could twirl for him. I felt like a little girl, my dress flowing out in the circle, shimmering like the stream. "And secondly," He stopped my twirl and pulled me close to him once more. "May I have this dance?"

The music had started up again, I glanced at the couples who now danced in the center of the village. I turned to him again, took his outstretched hand and said, "It would be an honor, _sir_."

* * *

We danced jigs, reels, some that resembled waltzes and some traditional slow dances. I stared deeply into his eyes and he into mine. We feasted merrily, laughing and talking with our families and with out friends. He looked so handsome. He had most of his armor on, the thick leather tunic. His clothes themselves were darkly colored like the forest. His vambrace was engraved with a large tree, the end of the branches were stars. It was really quite beautiful. Two knives were strapped to both sides of his hips and his bow was leaning up against a tree a ways back.

I found that I couldn't tear my gaze away from him. I had so often recalled the image of his smile, the familiar twinkle in his grey eyes. The sound of his laughter, the way he spoke. The way he looked at me. It made me feel so warm inside, no stable boy or high school jock had ever given me that same feeling when I was back at home. I was so afraid that I would lose him if I even just looked away. The day passed like a dream, all blurry and not quite there. The only thing I was aware of, was him.

And we danced.

* * *

We were doing one of the slow dances, to a melody that I could neither describe or explain. It was gentle, like the first rays of sunlight after a spring rain. I was so tired I felt I would fall over at any time. But I didn't want this night to end. We had stopped dancing. I looked up at him for an explanation, my mind was going all fuzzy.

"You're slipping." He whispered in my ear.

My head had been practically resting on his shoulder. He was smiling at me and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired."

"You've had quite the day I can imagine." He said. We started to slowly dance once more.

"Dancing for hours upon hours is something we mortals can normally keep up with."

"You're slipping again."

This time I stopped altogether, swaying slightly and leaning on him. He led me away from the couples of young elves to a log/chair looking thing on the sidelines.

"Thanks." I said, sitting upon it with a sigh or relief. I sleepily watched the fire's glow against the darkening sky and I leaned against him, closing my eyes as I relished his presence... his warmth. We were silent, watching the elves dance and listening to the music. The sun had long since set and the village square was lit with colored lanterns which cast a soft glow on the dancing and celebrations. The dancing lasted till about midnight, sometimes continuing on till dawn.

The dresses of the elven maids swirled in the soft light, glowing like fairy wings. Most of the male elves were still in their warrior garb, similar to Faerlain's, but it only made them look more handsome. I sat still, lost in thought, as I dreamily witnessed the dancing unfold. My mind started to slowly shut down.

I hardly noticed it at first, I could gently feel his arms wrap around me. I glanced up into his face and my look was met with a reassuring smile. I moved over to him slowly, resting my head upon his shoulder as he drew me in close.

"Does this mean we're still friends?" He asked, resting his chin upon my head.

I smiled as my eyes closed. "Oh yes." I mumbled sleepily. "The best of friends."

Within minuets, with his arms around me and the comforting feeling that, for the moment, everything was perfect. I was asleep.

* * *

_Faerlain _

* * *

"She didn't last did she?" Mirlaic asked, walking over to where I was sitting by the fire with Victoria huddled, sound asleep, in my arms. I shook my head.

"No, she was exhausted. And I don't blame her." I looked down fondly at her. She looked so peaceful, there, even a smile upon her face as she dreamed. "Dreadful business... this getting presented and all."

Mirlaic chuckled. "Yes. Well, let me wake her. I will bring her home."

"No." I replied hastily, I stood. "I can bring her, do not disturb her yet."

Mirlaic did not question me, merely nodding as she gestured to the direction of her flet. "Come on then, I know Alphril is anxious to see you. You seemed...shall we say...slightly preoccupied today." There was a twinkle of mirth in her aged eyes. I didn't reply. I held Victoria's slight frame tightly to my chest.

"Her bedroom is in there Faerlain." Mirlaic said, pointing as we entered.

"Thank you.-" I said, walking through the open door, I smiled at the simplicity of the room. It was quaint, there were drawings scattered over the bed, on the floor, and by the window. A sketching quill here and there. I set her down gently upon the bed, tenderly removing the flower crown from her dark hair. I set it down on the small table by the bed. Bending, I reached down and scooped up a few of the loose papers that had fallen to the floor.

I didn't realize that she could draw, it must have been something new that she had taken up. The pictures were beautiful, sketches of the elves, the trees, of nearly anything in Gilloth. The people were the most fascinating however, and I studied those carefully.

I found several of Mirlaic and Araviniel, one of Cudir and his wife, one of Alphril. And one of me. I glanced up at her peaceful figure, then, setting the picture down next on the table by her bed, I picked up a blank sheet and quickly jotted her a note. I glanced at her again and gently pulled the blanket out from under her body tucked it in around her. Victoria slept soundly, the smile present still upon her lips.

I bent down, wondering what dreams satisfied her so and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I will never hurt you." I whispered, brushing a stray lock of her hair away from her face. I glanced around the room one more time. And then, wordlessly, I left.

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

I didn't even know I had been dreaming...or that I had even fallen asleep until Mirlaic was gently shaking me awake. "Time to get up iell, the sun has long since risen."

I opened my eyes, blinking the sleep from them and looking up at her. She was smiling, her hand caressed my brow.

"Is it so late?" I asked her, glancing at the window, sitting up, and noting the brightness outside with dismay.

"Yes my child, I let you sleep though. You've had quite the night."

I stared at her in confusion for a few moments before understanding (and recollection) slowly seeped back into my mind. "The festival..." I said, blinking again, I glance around the room. "How did I...?"

"You fell asleep, Faerlain brought you home." Wishing I had been awake when he had done so made me redden suddenly, so I instead occupied myself with stretching so Mirlaic could not see my crimson features. It was then also I noticed I was still wearing that beautiful dress he had given me.

"I made something for you to eat." Mirlaic said, walking to the door. "Get dressed and then come and get it." She walked out and softly closed the door. I pushed the blankets off my legs slowly and slid my legs of the bed onto the floor.

Rising, I exchanged my dress for a simpler one and quickly braided my hair. I folded my festival gown up tenderly and placed it in the chest at the foot of my bed. I would treasure it always. But...where was the crown? I glanced around the room for signs of it and spied it on the night table next to the bed. I walked over and picked it up carefully. It was then I noticed two things, a picture I had dreamily sketched of Fearlain and a note written in his hand. I picked up the note and put the crown atop the dress. Then stood still as I read,

_Victoria,_

_I trust you slept well? You did not last past one in the morning so I took you home. I had a wonderful evening last night. Will you meet me today at our old meeting place by the stream?_

_Sincerely,_

_Faerlain_

The note was written in Tenqwar which only made me more pleased upon reading it. I smiled and folded it up and slipped it into the right pocket of my apron. Of course I would go to him by the stream. How could I not? Ever since he had come back I never wanted to leave him.

Was this what love was like?

* * *

"I'm glad you came." He said, half running over to me from his former stance by the tree as I entered the clearing.

"Of course I came." I amused by his eagerness as he stood before me. "I wanted to thank you...for everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, for the dress, the dances," I twirled, laughing and giddy, "... for the moon that shone so brightly, for the gentle breeze..."

"I didn't do all that, surely." He said teasingly.

"Maybe not, but it seemed so." I ran up to him again, bright and energetic and I took his hand. "All of this... the dress..." I couldn't even finish. He had no idea what he meant to me. "It meant a lot to me Faerlain." I concluded softly.

He squeezed my hand. "Come."

I didn't argue as he led me over to the tree. He stopped and turned so that we were facing each other. He took both my hands in his, "I need to say something Victoria. Something that had plaqued my mind since the day I met you."

I smiled, but my heart had begun to race wildly. He was searching my eyes deeply, and I wanted to open my soul to him. I would have told him anything...anything he wanted to know. He had only to ask.

"You know...you know I would never...hurt you...?"

I blinked, what was he trying to tell me."Yes... of course I do."

"You know that I would protect you always?"

"I do."

He nodded, closed his eyes for a moment, sighing. "Then let me say this Victoria." He was now searching my eyes again, and I felt lost in them. He was so close to me, I could feel his warmth, his touch, his presence.

"I love you."

That's when I froze. I thought for a second I was going to pass out.

"I have loved you every moment of every day since I met you. Every hour, every moment, every day of every year. You haunt my thoughts and my dreams. I tried to ignore these feelings because I didn't want to hurt you. I _never_ want to hurt you." He gently caressed my cheek. "I thought I would die when I was parted from you. When we fought, I could think only of you. You were everywhere." He was breathless, his eyes flaring with passion.

And well, I was dumbfounded. _Stupid mouth, no words would come out! _I stared with a blank expression on my face, blinking. He loved me. He_loved_ me. He pulled me closer, slipping his arms around my waist, I did not resist him. I melted into him.

"Please Victoria, tell me I am not alone."

I looked up at him, still staring. I could find no words, they all seemed jumbled into a blur of nothingness. All of them meaning the same thing. I my head to his chest, maybe I should forget everything that was holding me back at this moment. I breathed deeply as listened to his heart beat, racing, waiting my answer. Did he realize our happiness could be only short-lived? Did I even care?

"_I love you._" I whispered

The smile on his face grew until I was sure it was touching the tips of both his pointed ears. He hesitantly lowered his head, asking me wordlessly. My breath quickened, warmth spreading through my like fire. His hand caressed my cheek, his fingers slipping into my loosely braided hair. Pressed against him, I felt nothing, knew nothing, except for him. My eyes meeting his, I stared into their depths, wondering when we had been melded into one another.

I closed my eyes, and I felt our lips meet. Gently, slowly, but did he taste _wonderful_. He ran his fingers through my hair, his lips exploring my own. We were one together, and I never wanted to let him go.

"Do you trust me?" He asked between breaths, his hand resting against the small of my back. I ran my fingers through his hair, stood on tip toe to reach his ear.

"_Always_." I replied breathlessly. He turned his head, gently placing soft kisses on my neck.

_That_ was the way I had always wanted to be kissed.

The way I had always dreamed of being loved.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	17. The Tale of Two Lovers

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Does it matter? I've heard enough.**"**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

The Tale of Two Lovers

* * *

We sat together beneath the tree, he leaned against the rough bark and I was pressed up against his chest. He had wrapped his arms around me and I had laid, quite contentedly, snuggled up to him. I loved to listen to him breathe, the realize that he was both my strength and my weakness. We sat silently for a long time, listening to our hearts beat and watching the stream trickle by. I traced the emblem on his tunic as he ran his fingers up and down my back. I knew what he was thinking, just as he knew what I was.

"It won't always be like this... will it?" I asked, thinking aloud more than asking the question. He didn't answer. Resting his cheek on my head, I felt him sigh.

"We'll enjoy every moment of what we have." He told me, his grip on my body tightened, as if he were afraid that I would slip away. "I_can't_lose you."

I tilted my head up to look at him and I planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "I'm not going anywhere." Unlike most couples, we couldn't contemplate our future. Not really. Because all we would have together would last right now. We would have to live for the present, because my life had a timer on it and his would drift on and on.

We would have to take what we could get.

* * *

I returned to the flet around dinner and I was pleased to find Araviniel seated at the table. I embraced her, laughing, before I took a seat beside her.

"Where have you been?" She asked, picking the leaves out of my hair. "I've been home for hours! Neither my mother nor Mirlaic had any idea where you and my brother had disappeared to." I blushed at this remark and avoided her questioning gaze.

"Maybe after dinner we could go for a walk. I feel like we have some catching up to do."

Araviniel nodded, and we thanked Mirlaic as she set two, steaming plates before us.

* * *

The star-flowers were glowing by the time we ventured outside. The sun had set and the last, lingering rays of light seemed liked they had been absorbed by the tiny flowers. I found myself trembling with excitement as I began to tell Araviniel about the festival, of Faerlain's dress... and about what had happened today. She remained silent through my story and when I was finished, she stopped and took my hands into her own. "Are you happy?" She asked earnestly.

I smiled hesitantly and shifted my weight. Being 'happy' was a temporary emotion. Being 'happy' meant enjoyment for a short period of time. It meant that discontentment was still guaranteed a place in your life. I didn't want it to be like that, but it was. And Faerlain... what would I ever do without him?

"Yes." I told her softly. "I am."

* * *

I spent every moment I could get with Faerlain. It was mid-summer now and the news had reached Mirkwood that the war in the east had ended. Most of the remaining orcs had fled from our forests in defeat and those that remained retreated to the forest's darkest corners where only the giant spiders lived. His company had returned.

The village was alive with the return of all those who had been away fighting and as the days wore on in peace, the battlements we had constructed around the village decayed, eventually fading into the surrounding foliage.

And I began to feel restless. A year I had spent in this place and, dream or no, I wanted a family here. I wanted to marry Faerlain, I wanted to have his children, I wanted for us to be content forever.

But such things were not meant for beings such as us. They never had been.

* * *

"Faerlain?" I called, rapping on the door of his flet with the hurried impatience of a woman in love. I think Talorta must have had a good time this year, because two of the villager's mares had just given birth to spotted foals. One, a little dark filly, looked as though someone had sprinkled star-dust all over her face and fuzzy body. The other was a white colt with incriminating dark blotches all over his rump.

I couldn't wait to show them to Faerlain, though I wasn't _exactly_sure how the owners themselves felt about such unusual colors. "Faerlain?" I called questioningly once more. When I didn't hear an answer, I slipped quietly inside. The store was vacant, but I could hear Alphril humming somewhere in the back.

"Aphril?" I called, closing the door behind me once I had slipped inside. I heard her pause,

"Is that you Victoria?"

"Where are you?" I said, crossing the threshold hesitantly.

"In the kitchen."

I walked over to an open door in the corner of the store. Poking my head inside, I looked about curiously. Alphril was seated at a small table in the back of the room under a large window. There were several candles lit, thought it was at least an hour past midday. I discovered this was because the window, as well as two others that accompanied it, had been completed covered with ivy. Alphril was scribbling away with a cream colored quill. She looked up at me as I entered the room.

"What are you up to my dear? Wandering after my wayward son?" I smiled.

"As a matter of fact." I replied. "Could you tell me where he's gone? Talorta's foals were just born and I wanted him to see-"

April chuckled and stopped me mid-sentence. "Such an uproar they've caused, I can imagine. But anyway, he and his sister were talking about something in his bedroom for a while. I think they were arguing... after a while they quieted down and I haven't heard them since." She paused, listening carefully. "I think they've gone out now, but you could check his room just the same."

I thanked her for her kindness and then turned the corner from the kitchen. I stopped at the first door down the hall, knocking, and then entering when I didn't hear an answer. I had never been in Faerlain's bedroom before, decorum, of course, forbade it. It was tidy, very simply decorated. Nothing adorned the walls, a small bed was positioned against one wall and a desk against the other. A chest sat at the foot of his bed along with a small bureau that stood opposite of it.

Besides the book that lay discarded upon the desk, I would have never guessed that he had been here recently, for it was so impeccably kept. I moved towards the desk and picked it up. It lay open to the page he had last read, which was the beginning of a chapter entitled: "Lúthien and Beren". The book looked aged and heavily paged through.

I glanced at the title on its spine and was surprised to see it was a collection of historical tales. I wondered, as I thumbed through them, why Faerlain had never mentioned this particular tale to me before. As I turned the pages, I began to recognize some of the others it contained from those he had taught me in our lessons.

It was not an especially long story, and I smiled at the thought of surprising him with this newly acquire information. I exited his room, book in hand, as I made my way back to the kitchen. "Alphril, do you think Faerlain would mind terribly if I borrowed one of his books? He's left already."

She glanced up, studying the book's cover. "Go right ahead my dear, he's had that book since he was a child, he must have read every page of it by now."

I thanked her as I slipped it into the leather satchel hanging and my side. I didn't find Faerlain upon a quick inspection of the village from Alphril's doorstep, but I could always find him in the morning.

* * *

It didn't get dark until quite late around here, being summertime and all. I walked to Faerlain and I's special place by the stream. The forest was lazily silent with the dull noises associated with the coming of evening. Since Faerlain had come home, I hadn't been here by myself. It was strange, listening to the gurgle of the stream and the feeling the warm summer breezes on my own.

I misses his presence at my side, feeling the warmth of his body and the tenderness of his kisses. I smiled contentedly as I pulled Faerlain's book out of my satchel. I had come here from Alphril's house and I was looking forward to reading my newly acquired treasure.

I opened its weathered pages to a passage on "Lúthien and Beren". I smoothed the page as it lay in my lap, tracing the ancient, handwritten tenquar with my fingertips. I could have had no idea what a Pandora's box I was opening as I began to read.

* * *

Lúthien was an elven princess, daughter of Thingol and Melian. One day, Beren, a mortal stumbled upon her dancing beneath the stars. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And he called her, 'Tinúviel, daughter of twilight'. But when Beren asked her father for her hand in marriage, Thingol sent him on a quest to prove himself (knowing that he would probably be killed in the attempt and then he wouldn't be of anymore concern). So Beren set off.

I found the whole story wonderfully exciting and romantic, until I reached its end.

"_At the feet of Hírilorn the great beech Lúthien met them walking slow, and some bore torches beside the bier. There, she set her arms about Beren, and kissed him, bidding he await her beyond the Western Sea; and he looked upon her eyes ere the spirit left him. But the starlight was quenched and darkness had fallen even upon Lúthien Tinúviel." (Simirillion, pg. 186)_

I slammed the book shut, shaken at the sudden end. There was a few paragraphs left but I suddenly couldn't bring myself to finish the rest. Lúthien would have had to live without him, forever. The story was so utterly familiar that it made my stomach tighten. I shivered, wondering how she could have possibly lived on without him. Her love, dying in her arms, and she-living on for an eternity. The very thought horrified me.

I hastily stood and shoved the book into my satchel. I hugged my arms across my chest, shivering as I thought about what I had just read. I didn't like it one bit.

It was then, huddled beneath the willow tree, that I suddenly heard raised voices approaching me from down the path. I rose, brushing the dust and leaves from my dress. And then I paused as I recognized the voices, it was Faerlain and Araviniel. Both sounded well... angry, and they were speaking rapidly in Sindarin. I listened instead, curious as to what they were arguing about.

"You can't do this Faerlain!" Araviniel was saying, following her older brother as he tromped through the brush.

"Why? Because society dictates that I shouldn't?" He replied, I had never heard him speak so coldly before. I held my breath, holding as still as I could to listen.

"Because everything that we _are_ dictates that you shouldn't, that you _can't._ What would it bring you? Nothing... nothing but a lifetime of misery and pain."

They had stopped now, so close that I could hear Faerlain's heavy breathing. "I would sacrifice my _eternity_ to have what precious time that I could with Victoria."

My skin prickled at the sound of my name, and I felt a sort of dark foreboding sweep over me as I realized they were talking about me. My satchel felt heavy all of a sudden and it tugged irritatingly at my shoulder. "Could you force that upon Victoria? Could you will her to bear the burden of your damnation for so short a period of happiness?"

"It would be her _lifetime_." He contested angrily.

"And it would pass in the blink of an eye for you." She replied. "Think about it, would you let her die knowing what she had condemned you to?"

"Such things have been averted before- I... I could fix this." He replied hoarsely.

There was a silence between them, Araviniel cleared her throat before speaking. "But so _rarely-_do you really think Lord Mandos would give you the same opportunity of Lady Lúthien of old? Do you really think folk such as we are given such chances?"

She lost me on that... what opportunity? Lúthien had been condemned to a bleak future, hadn't she?

"I pray for it." He answered softly. My heart swelled at these words and I poked my head ever so slightly out from behind the trunk. I could see Araviniel's features softening as she looked into her brother's determined face.

"Faerlain, you must understand, I wish neither of you harm or unhappiness. I love Victoria as my sister, but if there is any reason the two of you shouldn't be together it is this: she will _die,_Faerlain. And you will live on, forever. If you could spare yourself that pain, would you?"

He lowered his voice to a whisper, and I couldn't hear his reply. I didn't have to. I stepped out now from behind the tree, my hands grasping the tree bark until my knuckles whitened. My tears burned in my eyes as they ran rivers down my cheeks. I couldn't speak... I could find no words to comfort myself or him, as he turned to me with a tortured gaze.

* * *

_Faerlain_

* * *

"_Victoria?"_ Araviniel breathed in horror, her eyes widened as she turned from me to the lone woman standing by the willow tree. To _my_Victoria. She didn't have to say anything, her tears spoke for themselves. "How long have you been standing there?" My sister questioned nervously. As if it-

"Does it matter?" She replied brokenly. She moved from the tree, her gaze concentrated on my face as she did so. I could see her confusion, feel her despair. "I've heard enough." She clutched the leather strap of her satchel tightly, wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. My mouth was dry, the uneasiness I had felt ever since Araviniel had confronted me today about my decision set my heart racing.

I gulped, but could find nothing to say as she started to walk past me, her eyes downcast. I reached for her arm but she tore it away, her long, dark hair falling into her face as she whirled away from me.

"Victoria?"

She didn't meet my gaze, standing but a few inches away from my grasp. I _hated_ how this was hurting her. I wanted so badly to take her into my arms, so show her that we would find a way... but I couldn't. "Don't go." I pleaded with her. "Don't..."

Victoria didn't reply, she pulled an old book out of her satchel, one I immediately recognized. "I guess I know your stories now." She told me. I took it in my hands, tightly grasping the ages cover. I felt cold and, again, I could say nothing as she retreated to the village, her shoulders hunched in defeat. I felt desperation rising within me, a harsh reality shattering the whimsical, blissful love we had so cherished.

I glanced briefly at my sister, but her gaze remained fixated on the ground. I walked towards the stream and I heard her stir behind me. "Faerlain-" She called softly to me, but I said nothing in reply. I kept on following the stream, deeper and deeper in the forest.

I had no intention of returning to Gilloth tonight.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	18. What These Woods Hold

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Beren_lived_. The story didn't end with his death..."

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

What These Woods Hold

* * *

I didn't sleep much that night. Faerlain and Araviniel's conversation kept playing over and over in my head. Eventually I gave up any attempt at sleep and sat by my window, watching the sun rise with my legs pulled up to my chest. The sun burned on the horizon, streaming down where it could through Mirkwood's leafy canopy. I watched as the star-flowers gradually surrendered their serene glow to it. In the stillness, nothing so much as breathed during the earliness of the hour. 

I rose quietly, just before the sun had completely risen, and dressed myself. Slipping into the simplest dress I could find, I plaited my mousy brown hair and quietly left the flet. It was still too early, none of the others villagers had risen yet. I headed for the stable and called for Talorta. Laying flat on his side, nestled warmly in the hay, he grunted lazily at the sound of his name. I smiled ruefully, "Come on papa, let's go for a ride."

I really didn't the intention of going anywhere in particular, I just wanted to get away for a while. Perhaps the air would clear my head. Either way, anything was better than brooding away in my room. We set out down the old road that led, after about twenty-five miles, to the edge of the forest. For the past year that I had lived here I had never left the confines of the village. Maybe it was time for a change.

I thought about home for the first time in months. It was fast approaching autumn now, had they missed me? Had they lost another child in my absence? Did I linger there still? Had I died? But there was no one to answer my questions and instead Talorta plodded slowly along.

Faerlain... oh _Faerlain._ What would we do with the mess we'd gotten ourselves into? I closed me eyes, tilted my head back to let the brief patches of sunlight catch my face. I didn't know what I would, or could, do next. _How could I ever make this right?_

Talorta halted suddenly and I fell forward onto his neck. I pushed myself up, slightly disheveled, as I pulled my disoriented thoughts together. I didn't see anything that would have caused him to start, heaven knows the two of us knew the forest surrounding the village like the back of our hands. Though, as I looked around, I did acknowledge that we had gone out further than I ever had before. "What's wrong?" I asked him gently, patting his neck. But when I urged him on, he remained steadfast and resolute.

I sighed. "Are you going to give me trouble now-" I was interrupted when I heard a crash in the underbrush and an angered cry. Both noises sounded relatively close and my body stiffened as I listened for any other noise. Talorta pricked his ears, listening as I was, for any clues as to the cause of the noise. I dismounted, Talorta following me as I inched through the brush just off the road in the direction I had heard the noise in. I was met by the tip of an arrow pointed straight into my face as I halted and stared in wordless amazement.

"_Faerlain?_" I gaped in alarm as I recognized the weapon's owner. His clothing was torn and bloodied. He stood before me with fierce gaze, clutching his bow. He lowered it.

"What are you doing this far east?" He asked me hoarsely. He was breathless, with dark liquid of some kind splattered across his face and staining his tunic.

"I went for a ride... what's happened?" I took in the dark circles beneath his eyes, how he was hunched slightly with weariness. "Have you been out here _all night_?" He didn't answer my right away, he looked around us, his eyes darting as he gazed in and out of the trees.

"Talorta is here with you?"

"Just behind me." I replied, gesturing over my shoulder. I could see his multi-colored tail through the brush just a few feet off the road. His ears were rotating as he listened intently. Something was wrong. The forest was silent, eerily barren of all sounds of life. It reminded me of the orc attack we'd had months before. An attack I'd hoped I would never have to relive again.

"Faerlain?" I whispered, I couldn't take the cold, harsh look in his eyes. I didn't like what it meant.

* * *

_Faerlain_

* * *

I looked down at her, she looked so very small then. She seemed to wilted beneath my gaze. Nothing would happen to her, I wouldn't let it. I shifted my weight, concealing the pain from the wound in my leg and blocking her view of the carcass behind me. 

"Listen to me, go back to the village- push Talorta as hard as he can. Tell the elders to prepare the battlements." I breathed heavily and clutched my bow tightly. "We're under attack."

She said nothing as I hustled her back to her charge, glancing around me cautiously as I limped behind her. Talorta was standing uneasily just off the road, I knew he could sense our fear, Victoria's distress. She whirled to me and caught a glimpse of my limp. Her eyes widened perceptively as she saw blood staining the already dark fabric of my leggings.

"You're hurt!" She gasped, leaning toward me instantly to examine the wound but I caught her arms by her elbows and I stilled her movements.

"There's no time for that now. You will do this... for me?" I asked her.

She glanced upward, fearfully, into my face. "What will you do? You can't fight them all by-"

I pulled her to my chest, silencing her protest as I sealed her lips with a kiss. I tasted her, searching her hungrily, searching for the reassurance I wished I could give her to let her know, we would come out of this all right in the end. But I knew nothing could ease our fears of what lay ahead- if only she knew how difficult this was for me. If only she could understand how much I was willing to sacrifice for her.

We broke apart, breathing heavily and I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her fingers cling to my back. I wanted to hold her forever, to be with her always. But we don't always get what we want.

"Beren _lived_." I told her. "The story didn't end with his death... Lúthien appealed to the Valar and sacrificed her immortality for a mortal lifetime with him." She looked up at me and I searched her eyes. "We'll make it work." I told her desperately. "I would give_anything_ to be with you for one lifetime, then to spend an eternity alone."

She smiled through her tears. "Promise you'll come back to me in one piece?" She wanted reassurance from me, staring into my eyes, she sought for some knowledge that we would make it through this. "I don't have forever."

I kissed her once more. "I promise." I pushed her slender body up on Talorta's firm back and I pressed her hands to my lips. "Stay safe." I told her, reaching up and wiping away the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks. She chuckled,

"I think I'm the one who should be saying that to you."

I imprinted in my mind every beautiful piece of her, knowing well that this might be the last time we saw each other. "Go- we don't have much time. Take this." I handed her a curved scimitar that had been sheathed at by side. She clutched it tightly as I tied the leather strap around her waist. She stared down at me with a look of fear and anxiety. "Know that whatever happens, I love you, _my Tinúviel_."

She smiled at me, a beautiful smile, and then she was gone. I saw flashes of white as Talorta disappeared down the road, carrying my bride down the road and I listened for the sound of his hooves striking the earth long after they had gone from my sight. I clenched my hand, still damp from her tears, around my bow.

I headed into the forest, ignoring the stench from the carcass as I ventured further into the foliage- ready for a hunt.

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

My ride back to the village felt agonizingly long now, though I knew Talorta was practically flying down the old forest road. I clung to his back, his neck damp with sweat and his sides heaving as he ran. The villagers were milling about as they always did, and I spotted Alphril and Mirlaic speaking to each other in the village square. Talorta bolted through the village streets, darting past stunned villagers, before we came to a sliding halt in front of them. 

We had attracted a crowd and several villagers were grumbling under their breaths. "Victoria! What is the meaning of this?" Mirlaic demanded, as a healer and my adoptive mother, I knew she was immediately mark my pallid features and swollen eyes. But I - we - had no time for that now. "Faerlain's spotted a company of orcs. He sent me to warn all of you. We have to prepare immediately for battle."

"Where's Faerlain?" Asked one of the young elves, recently returned from the front with Faerlain as his commander.

I didn't seek out the questioner's face as shame and guilt burned my face. "He stayed behind, he's about ten miles from the village. He's going to hold them off for as long as he can."

"By _himself?_" Another demanded.

I felt that familiar pang in my heart, the same one that had plagued me when I had first seen him, torn and bloodied, in the forest. I nodded. "He sent me back to warn everyone. " I dismounted. "We don't have much time-"

Cudir emerged from the crowd, pushing his way towards me. "We will do so." He said firmly, and relief swept through me as I realized that Cudir would be able to give orders now. Any skepticism I had seen in their faces vanished once they heard him speak. Anyone with military experience and/or weaponry was ordered to suit up for the battle. Everyone else set to work clearing the fire pits we had prepared earlier in the year and strengthening the battlement's defenses. We hauled logs, Talorta dragging them into place, alone the wall. I wasn't sure what good it would do against our enemies, but the solidarity of it gave me comfort.

Our thickest walls were those facing the eastern road, and we worked furiously all day and making sure to keep a close watch upon it. The men began stationing themselves along the battlements with arrows fitted to their bows. Everyone else, except a few women and the children, filled in the gaps with any sort of weapon they could find.

The older children scurried about, making sure we had food and water throughout the day even though many found themselves too frightened. The children had made sure to fill the fire pits with oil so now we waited, our preparations complete. Someone started passing out little pouches of star-dust, a fine powder made from crushing star-flowers. She added some oil from the fire pits and wiped the fine paste she made as a result down the blade of her scimitar, one that matched the one Faerlain had given me, and dipped her arrow heads into it. "It serves as a poison if prepared just right." She told me.

Dusk began to settle and, all around us, the star-trees began to glow. The village was quiet but for the occasional clank of weapons and armor. Even our whispers seemed to fade with the absence of light. Cudir, our commanded in Faerlain's absence, stood directly in the center of the line, scanning the forest intently.

There had been no time to think before during our frenzy to prepare for the coming attack. But now, in the silence, waiting for our enemies as darkness settled in around us, my heart began to pound fiercely within me. I had killed an orc once before... accidentally. How could I possibly defend myself now? I had never even _used _a sword before. And then there was Faerlain- out alone somewhere. There were too few of us to go out and find him. What had happened to him since our meeting hours before?

"_Someone's coming._" Hissed one of our warriors stationed as a lookout toward the east. I bit my lip, holding in a whimper of fear as everyone froze. I didn't know what anyone had heard, or saw for that matter. Beyond the few yards of star-trees all I could see was the tricks my eyes played on me in the shadows. I heard a soft coo then, similar to the ones the morning birds made when they nested in the star-flower trees. But there had been no voices from the forest since before this mess had begun. To my astonishment, Cudir answered with the same cooing call and we waited in tense silence for a reply, which we received soon after.

"It's Faerlain." Cudir announced loudly to us. "Hold your weapons."

My heart leapt when he said this and I stood, staring out into the darkness for any traces of my beloved. When I saw his shadowy figure running towards us through the trees I gasped with relief. He was tired, he ran slowly, limping as he darted around the fire pits before slipping into our ranks through a small gap in the battlement. He was quickly approached by several villagers, but he went directly to Cudir's side- embracing as they met.

* * *

_Faerlain_

* * *

"Everything is in order?" I asked, Cudir smiled ruefully as we broke our embrace. 

"Ready as ever." I felt Cudir's eyes noting the clothes, damp from sweat, and bathed in blood and grime from a day's worth of fighting. I also felt his questioning gaze rest upon the bandage that was tied tightly around my upper thigh. "Rough going?"He asked.

I took a cup of water that one of the children offered to me and I turned to face the people. They were anxiously awaiting what I had to say, clutching their weapons tightly. "Just a scratch." I muttered lowly to my friend before addressing the crowd. "There's at least one hundred of them, perhaps more." I told them. "We are no strangers to battle. Keep the children indoors, we fight now to protect everything we hold dear, all that we love." I looked down the line, catching the stern, resolute gazes of both men and women who stood, ready to fight.

I saw Victoria, staring at me with my scimitar in her hand. She handled it like some sacred, foreign object- too heavy and large for her small frame. If I had not known, innocent or not, that the blade might be the only thing to protect her tonight, I might have smiled. "Be ready." I told them.

"They'll be here within the hour."

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

It was then that I smelt it, a sickening odor drifting towards us from within the forest. It stank of rotting flesh and sweat. "What is that?" I asked Araviniel as I backed up toward the line and sank down beside her. 

"Sooner then that." She said lowly, fitting an arrow to her bow. "_They're here_." Everyone repositioned themselves along the battlement wall and everything fell silent. "Have you every used a sword before?" She whispered to me, her eyes on the forest.

"No." I replied, following her gaze and searching for anything I could identify in the darkness.

"Maybe... maybe you should stay with the children." She told me after a moment.

I smiled, despite all, I still loved her. "Try to make me leave." I told her resolutely.

"_Light the fire pits!"_ Cudir hissed, his bow taunt with an arrow. I jumped as I felt body press up against mine from behind me.

"Ready?"

I relaxed slightly as I recognized Faerlain's voice. He gripped my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "As I'll every be." I replied. We stared silently into the forest as the fire pits lit up in flames, illuminating the whole village as they outlined its perimeter.

Breathing deeply, he strung his bow. We all waited in silence, and that's when I first saw the shadows take form.

"_They're coming."_

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	19. For What We Love

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Where is Faerlain?**" **

* * *

** Chapter Nineteen**

For What We Love

* * *

I didn't know that anything could suck up the light as those creatures did. My eyes were so unaccustomed to straining to see in the dim light that, at first, I thought the shadows I saw were just tricks of the light. But then there was so many... everywhere. The flames from the fire pits slowly began to reveal their demonic features and I felt my blood run cold.

"_I love you."_ Faerlain whispered from behind me and I tried to reply, but I found my mouth as dry as sand as I trembled with fearful trepidation. His warmth vanished and I shivered as I realized, once again, the very real possibility of this being the end for us. But I had little time to dwell on such thoughts, for as soon as they were close enough to see their eyes glittering in the firelight, they charged.

The archers let loose a volley, and then another- taking some down with every round- but still they came, their ranks thickening as they poured in from the forest. I heard them snarl, roaring battle cries and I was reminded of that day, long since past, when only God had spared me from certain death.

Without a bow, I was useless until they got closer. I could only sit tight and wait for whatever lay ahead. My palms felt sweat and the leather hilt of Faerlain's scimitar bit at my hand as I attempted to hold it tighter. I didn't realize that the fire wouldn't stop them as they charged our battlements- their armor burning as their stench and shrieks filled the night air.

The scimitar felt so heavy in my hands as my limbs locked in fear. The orcs charged the wall. Someone pulled my frozen body back from the battlements as they either rammed them or climbed overtop, using the bodies of their fallen comrades as ladders.

They were in the village.

Something warm splashed my face, something dark. I wiped it away shakily, watching as the battle raged around me. In a stupor, I could do nothing but stumble back to avoid the blows the opposing sides aimed at eachother. I saw Araviniel, swinging her scimitar at an orc as he circled her, snarling viciously. She screamed in pain as the orc's rusted blade caught her arm and she charged him.

I heard a children screaming... and a baby crying. _Turwithiel._ I whirled, looking in the direction of the flets and saw an orc ramming his body against the door of one where the children were locked inside. I can't really explain was happened to me next. Foreign as the scimitar was to my unlearned hands, it felt like power within my grasp.

Something changed inside of me, something dark surfaced. I felt hot all over, enraged that they would dare harm those children, furious that they would attack this place. I screamed with rage, the burning fueling my movements as my previously frozen limbs jerked to action. I swung the curved sword, running and screaming like a banshee. I raised the scimitar above my head and brought it crashing down as hard as I could onto the monster's skull, just as he'd managed to knock a hole in the door.

I whirled to the battle, engaging two more who had come to terrorize those they could while they fighting raged on. I swung the scimitar like an axe, cutting down whatever got in my way. It got stuck once, and I gripped the hilt with two hands- yanking it out of the orcs still growling body as its warm blood trickled down my arms.

I rushed forward, ignoring the shock I felt as I raised the scimitar again, heading for any beast that came closest to me.

I lost myself to it.

I barely knew how to use a scimitar, but, swinging it around like an axe, I hacked at anything I could before they could hurt me or those I fought to protect. I didn't listen to the sounds, the cries or snarls. The noise of the battle deafened in my ears. I only saw their eyes, glowing red in the firelight, their smirking grins. I _hated_ them.

The warriors had pushed them back now, forcing their retreat, inch by inch, to the wall. I kept swinging, my shoulders burning with each impact but I couldn't stop- I wouldn't.

"Victoria!" I heard from behind me and I whirled, startling Elenowen who jumped back, startled as my scimitar hit the earth with a dull thud. It felt so heavy in my hands... burning me with its death blows. She glanced fearfully into my face and what she saw there I'll never know. But immediately the fire within me cooled, even as the battle raged around us.

"Help me with Araviniel!" I glanced around, watching as the warriors chased the orcs over the wall and into the forest. I followed Elenowen as she ventured closer to the wall and down line. My eyes watched as her pointing fingers revealed the crippled body of my friend, laying groaning on the ground. My features softened as I ran to her, dropping my scimitar as if it had burned me as I fell to my knees at her side.

"We're taking the wounded to Mirlaic's flet." She told me. "There are others waiting there to help." The warriors were fighting the orcs in the star-flower orchards now, pushing them back into the enveloping darkness of the forest even as dawn began to break over the treetops. I looked at the carnage around me, it was over. Araviniel groaned, regaining my attention as she clutched her arm just above her elbow. Her lips trembled as she looked up at me, forming a brave smile as she did so.

"I feel rather embarrassed- I was barely out there for but a few moments and look at me. You've hardly got a scratch on you."

I offered her a small smile in reply. "Beginner's luck, though I'm sure you didn't intentionally get hit with a mace when you were fighting." I glanced at Araviniel, "Let's get her to the back." I could hear the sounds of the battle drifting further and further into the forest as we drove them back.

* * *

Mirlaic's flet was on the opposite side of the village and there were already several wounded there by the time we arrived. We had slung Araviniel's arms over our shoulders and as we rushed inside, we headed to my bedroom which had remained, at the present time, still empty. Laying her gently on the bed, Elenowen ran to get supplies while I tore the tattered clothing away from her wound.

She stared up at the ceiling while I carefully probed the wound on her arm, just as Mirlaic had taught me so long ago. I realized after a moment that my hands were shaking, and I breathed deeply in an attempt to calm my shattered nerves. "I don't think it's poisoned," I said after a moment, clearing my throat as my voice cracked. "... just broken." I cradled my hand, trying to ease the shaking and calm myself. "Mirlaic will set it once we've clean you up a bit. The leg wound isn't deep, not poisoned either."

She was becoming feverish, her fair face bathed in sweat and traces of the battle. She didn't utter a sounded as I cleaned and stitched her up. After I had completed the painful process, I bandaged her leg as best I could without Mirlaic. I was about ready to go get her to set Araviniel's arm when she spoke at last.

"I think its over." She said, listening intently for the sounds of the battle- which had all but disappeared. We had fought straight through the night.

"I'll go get Mirlaic." I told her gently, dabbing at her damp face with a cool rag. Just as I started to rise she reached up with her good arm and caught my wrist.

"I'm sorry." She told me, tears forming in her eyes.

"For what?" I asked in astonishment. "For getting wounded? What do you have to apologize for?" I soothed, misunderstanding her intent. She shook her head and gestured to the portrait of Faerlain that lay on the night table next to the bed.

"That day in the forest... he had intended to ask for your hand, that's what we had been arguing about." She clutched my wrist tighter and I sat back down. "I made a mess of things... and I'm sorry for what I said." She stared intently into my eyes. "I never intended to hurt either of you." I paused, remembering her cold words that day by the willow. "I know how much you love him." She chuckled ruefully. "I suppose I didn't help very much."

I shook my head and, bending down, I kissed her forehead. "You were trying to help as best you knew how. You are my dearest friend, there is nothing to forgive."

Elenowen appeared in the doorway with Mirlaic in tow, she was breathless. "Help Elenowen with the others, Victoria." Mirlaic told me calmly. "I'll see to Araviniel."

I nodded and followed her out. We scoured the battlements and the star-tree orchards for any wounded. Mercifully, we hadn't found any dead yet. For hours we stitched wounds, wrapped burns and sprains and watered parched lips. Alphril, along with the oldest of the women, minded the children and kept food and water plentiful for everyone. Some of the men had begun tossing the orc carcasses into the still burning fire pits around the battlements so that the stench of death permeated the air.

Late in the day, just about when dusk was beginning to settle, the warriors who had driven the orcs east and out of the forest began to return. The orcs had been forced into a swift retreat and there was not many wounded among the warriors' numbers, and certainly none dead. Elenowen, who had been sick with worry the whole day, cried out with joy and flung herself into her husband's arms when Cudir appeared. Several weary, but victorious, warrious followed him, all grimly taking in the damage that had been done to the village.

Though the battle had lasted only through the night before they had driven the orcs back, several of the murderous beasts had managed to set fire to the nearest flets. Not to mention the carcasses that lingered still both within and outside the battlement walls.

I searched their faces for Faerlain's as they trickled back into the village, and my heart began to race as I realized that Faerlain was not among their numbers. I ran to Cudir, who was now helping Elenowen with the wounded. "Where is Faerlain?" I asked him evenly.

Hoping he would point me in the right direction, the last thing I wanted to see was the surprised look on his face when he heard my question. "He hasn't come back yet?"

I stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"We got separated in the pursuit." He was on his feet now, standing before me with concern etched in his battle weary features. "He had a leg wound from before the battle even started. He was exhausted. I told him to go back-"

Faerlain... was wounded... on foot. And if he hadn't returned yet- it meant he was still out there, alone. _Alone_. I called for Talorta and my horse, whom I had not seen since before the fighting began, appeared before me out of no where. "You headed them east right? Towards the border?"

"Yes but-"

I didn't give him a chance to finish. Impulsive as ever, I vaulted onto Talorta's back and we galloped through the village and back down the east road. I didn't have time to wait for company.

Faerlain was out there, and he needed me.

* * *

It was getting darker as we raced through the forest. I couldn't see anything, so I clung to Talorta's neck, slick with sweat. I couldn't think of anything except him. Where was he? Was he badly hurt? Was he even still _alive?_ Some part of me wanted to believe that if he was gone, I would know, somehow. But with everything in my burning for him to be alive- I could hope nor dream of anything else.

My thighs ached from gripping Talorta's thighs so tightly and, suddenly, I wasn't. Talorta tripped, falling to his knees and skidding onto his side as I flew over his neck and landed in the dirt with a painful thud. I laid there for a moment, the earth cooling my damp, over-heated body. I chilled with sweat, both Talorta's and my own, and also blood from both the battle and the wounded I had been tending to all day. My head was spinning. Rolling onto my side, I pushed myself on my elbow slowly- knowing I had bruised something up pretty bad. My shoulder ached fiercely and, wincing as I sat all the way up, I clutched my arm in a fruitless attempt to ease the pain.

"What did you do that for?" I muttered, glaring at my spotted stallion who was laying still in the dirt, heaving. A quick inspection told me there was nothing wrong with his legs, he was just bone weary. I picked myself up, standing on unsteady legs and hobbling over to him. He lifted his head, knickering softly as I knelt beside him. "It's all right." I told him, patting his neck. "Rest for a while." A little ways past him I could see a dark mound in the road. Approaching it and kneeling beside it, the immediate foul odor that accompanied it told me that it was an orc.

I could see that the creature had been long since dead, there was blood still on his sword, clutched in a death grip in his hand. It wasn't black orc blood though, no. It shined a dull, dark red. I looked around, searching for its killer, but I could see no one in the coming darkness. The moon was rising, it began its graceful ascent as the sun faded from the sky. I stood again, searching for the trace of another presence, and I found one.

There was a trail of blood leading off the road and into the brush. I glanced back at Talorta, but in his exhausted state he wasn't going anywhere, and then I cautiously followed the trail. The person who had caused it had been sloppy, the trees were broken and the brush trampled where he had fallen, again and again. I didn't see anyone at first, but I felt my throat tighten as my fears ran rampant in my mind.

But somehow, even before I found his body, crumpled to the ground and draped over some tree roots, I knew he would be there. I knew that some divine intervention had allowed me to find him, had brought me to him. But as I knelt at his side and my hands hovered about his still form, I was afraid to touch him.

I was terrified to discover if I had made it in time, or if I was already too late.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED... **


	20. What I Would Give

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**I_love_ you. Always will, and I will _never_ forget you**." **

* * *

** Chapter Twenty**

What I Would Give

* * *

I didn't know what to do or what I would find as I rolled him over, his head in my lap as I pulled him close to me. His face was so pale... and as I moved to touch it, I realized that my hand was covered in warm blood. _His_ blood. There was an open wound on his chest, just below his heart. He laboriously taken breaths told me two things that, one, he was indeed alive. And two, that something had punctured his lung, that he was slowly suffocating.

That there was nothing I could do.

Ripping off a chunk of my dress, I pressed it to the wound, watching as his life, literally, slipped through my fingers. He gasped at the pressure I applied and his eyes fluttered open. He looked disoriented at first, and he looked about in confusion until his eyes settled upon my face.

"_My Tinúviel_... you came for me."

* * *

_Faerlain _

* * *

It was so difficult to speak. Every rattling breath felt like it was stealing all the air, like I was using it all up. I coughed, knowing there was something wrong within me. I couldn't really feel anything now, just her hand pressed to my chest, her fingertips resting almost upon my heart. I looked up into her beautiful face, awed that someone so wonderful had given herself to me so completely.

"_My Tinúviel_." I whispered again, then chuckled. "I'm sorry- I didn't come back- in the condition- promised."

She shook her head, bravely smiling though I could see her lips tremble. "You didn't come back at all... I had to come find you."

That's right... I remembered the orc I'd faced in the road, how his spear had pierced me before I had killed him. The pain flared momentarily at the memory and I took a deep, shuddering breath. Her smile had faded completely now.

"Talora is waiting for us, just a little ways back there on the road. We'll get him to take us back to the village- Mirlaic will make you well..." She started to slide her arms beneath my shoulders to pull me up, but I stayed her movement as I caught her arm.

"Don't." I said, grimacing as the pain flared. "No." I felt so weak now and so _very_ tired. But I wasn't done yet, I couldn't be. I couldn't leave her here, not like this. Desperation had taken over her brave front and she bowed her head in defeat, her hair shining in the moonlight as it fell in her face, hiding her tears as she began to shake with sobs.

"We drove them back Faerlain, I did everything that you asked me to." She said, I raised my hand, caressed her cheek and she took it into her own, pressed it to her kips. "We _won_. You can't leave me now, we have to get back... Mirlaic- and... a wedding." She was babbling now, my brows met, my heart aching for her. "We'll be wed in the spring, won't be Faerlain? Everything will be better."

"Wed?" I found something unmistakably funny about that for some reason. "I don't believe I ever asked you." I coughed, hard. Victoria wiped my mouth, not saying anything at first. She cleared her throat, wiping away her tears and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Well... no time like the present."

I closed my eyes as a new burst of pain shot through my body, I groaned. My jovial mood slipped away, the brave face I had been masquerading for her vanished. "Victoria-"

"Say that you'll marry me." She interrupted firmly, her eyes burning into mine. "Say that you'll love me, forever."

"Victoria-"

"Araviniel told me about the day in the forest... it's not too late-"

"_Victoria._" I said firmly, I gasped over a new bout of pain and I paused before continuing. I squeezed her hand.

"I'm dying."

* * *

_Victoria_

* * *

I felt so cold... and Faerlain's warmth seemed to be slipping away from me. I cried out, gasping for air as I hunched, defeated, before him. He spoke quietly to me and I could feel his strong hand caressed my cheek, my hair. His other, he placed upon the one I held to his chest.

"In his heart, he called her Tinúviel, that signifies the Nightengale, daughter of twilight, in the Grey-elven tongue, for he knew no other name for her." My cries quieted as he said this, those his words couldn't stop my tears or rase the terrible ache in my chest at the thought of having to live without him.

"I have, I will _always, love you."_

I shifted towards him, and, leaning down, I kissed him. I kissed him slowly, yearning to give him my life through our connection. "I will save you." I breathed into him, tasting my tears upon his lips.

"You already have." He whispered in reply.

Zach's death had been so sudden that I hadn't really known that it could steal someone so silently. But that was how it happened. The color drained from his face and his hand fell limp in mine. I felt his lips stop moving, his breath no longer escaping from them. He started to grow cold under my touch, I couldn't breathe.

- couldn't breathe -

I couldn't think, couldn't move, as my heart shattered. Utter desolation and loss clawed at my chest, physically tearing me apart. I clutching him to my chest, pressing my forehead against his as I sobbed. Then I threw back my head, screaming in agony to the heavens.

"_Why did you take him from me? _What did I do _wrong_?" I sobbed, pressing his lifeless body to my chest. "What do you want from me?" I looked down at him, he seemed so peaceful, his lips parted- his face still. He could have only been sleeping had I known better. "He is innocent- _I_was the one you were supposed to take. I was the one who was supposed to_die._" I felt anger, hotter and uglier than anything I had ever felt before.

"DO YOU HEAR ME? Spare him- take me instead!" I shouted. "Have mercy on him..._please..._" I closed my eyes, letting the moonlight, almost directly over head shine down on my face. "Please..." I begged.

"...please..."

* * *

When I opened my eyes again it was light all around, bright rays shining down from the moon. And then the forest had gone and there was only me and Faerlain... but Faerlain had not moved.

"_You are never forsaken_." A resonating voice said from all around me. I gazed around in wonder, wiping tears from my eyes.

"Who's there?" I managed at last.

I saw a figure... bathed in light... approach me. "_Did you not call to me?" _The voice asked.

I felt ashamed somehow... but I didn't care. I took Faerlain's hand tightly in my own. "Please." I begged. "Do not take him... take me. I should have died... not him." I gazed at his face tenderly. "Not him." I couldn't see the figure's face, but I knew in the silence that followed he was thinking about what I had said.

"_A woman's love_." He said softly. It felt like an eternity before he answered. "_You would give your life for this man?_"

_Elf._I corrected mentally... but out loud, I answered only with a simple- "Yes."

Silence again.

"_You are not of this world, Victoria Knightengale, perhaps it is time you returned_."

I gazed hard at the figure until the light radiating from him burned my eyes. I gripped Faerlain's hand so hard I feared it might break. "Sir?"

The figure knelt on the other side of Faerlain and though the light surrounding him was so bright that I could not see his face, I knew I could not gaze at him and I lowered my eyes. "_I will give you a choice, Victoria. You may return to your own world- nothing will have changed here. Faerlain will live on, here_."

I hardly dared to breathe as my hope soared.

"_Or you may choose to remain... and he will perish_."

I thought of my home... of my parents. I thought how I would give my life just to see Faerlain look at me one more time... just one more smile... one more day. "Why is this choice mine?" I asked, stalling before I answered.

"_You are a special woman._" He answered... but the way in which he spoke to me... I felt loved... I felt warm. Tears flooded my eyes.

"If I go home... he will live?" I repeated slowly, fearing I had heard wrong.

The being nodded. "Know this- you both will be unchanged. Faerlain will continue his life as if you had never existed. They all will."

He would never recall my name... my touch... my kisses. I breathed shakily. "Will I... remember?"

The being nodded. "_Far too much has occurred... this is a burden you will carry forever, my child_." He paused. "_But you will never be alone_."

I gazed at Faerlain, I had lost all sense of time but I knew, as of now, he was not breathing. That there was no life within him. Have mercy... I turned tearfully to the being. "I will return." I said. "I will go back."

This time the voice changed as I answered... and the being faded into the figure of my older brother. I gazed speechlessly at him. He held up his hand to silence anything I would have said. "The Creator has given you this choice... not me." He said kindly. He gestured to Faerlain. "We have to go... it's time to say good-bye."

He rose, leaving me along with Faerlain. I turned to look at him, memorizing every detail of his face, the way his dark hair shine in the light... the memory of his eyes... I spoke to him as strongly as I could, for the very last time.

* * *

"Hey." I said softly. I wanted to be strong for him, but I couldn't. Not on my own. I lacked the strength- lacked the will. I had to go and -again- I had to say good-bye. My heart ached with longing as I gazed at his tranquil, emotionless face. I leaned closer to him.

"I don't know if you can hear me... but I have an awful lot to tell you." I paused. "Well... maybe only one thing. I'm not really from around... here. Well... there... erm... you know what I mean." Could he hear me? Would he understand?

No... he wouldn't. He would never remember that I had even existed. He would find love... he would marry and have children. Do all things I would always dream of doing. I had wanted to be his wife, _I_ wanted bear his children. But those dreams were over now, as my life was here.

"I uh-" Tears burned in my eyes and my words lodged in my throat. "I'm going home." I whispered, caressing his cheek. ..._he was so cold_... "And I- I won't see you again... ever..." The words sounded hollow to my ears and it pained me to speak them. "I just want you to know-" I faltered... what did I want him to know? "That I- I love you-."

That was it... plain and simple. "I _love_ you. Always will, and I will _never_ forget you."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I found myself gazing into my brother's face. He gestured with a nod of his head upward. _"He_ says it's time to go."

I couldn't answer... I turned back to Faerlain and I found I had nothing to say... nothing I would remember him by. Except my love.

Only my love.

I kissed him... brushed my lips against his and I felt him slowly start to breathe.

* * *

Now I am standing beside my brother and Faerlain is fading from me as I go further and further away from him. The color is returning to his cheeks and I see him open his eyes... his beautiful, grey eyes... and he is gone. The white mist around me is fading and I feel empty... Zachary holds me tightly but I have no more tears. I feel numb.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. But he knows I forgive him... for everything. And he knows that I love him... even without me having said good-bye. "Say hi to Mom and Dad for me." He whispered. And then Zach is gone too. I imagine that I can see Mirlaic, Alphril, Araviniel, Cudir and Elenowen... baby Turwithiel and Ana, Gilloth is beautiful once more. They are _all_so beautiful.

I imagine that I see Faerlain smile... but it is all so hazy now. I feel a nagging weariness at the back of my mind.

* * *

_I looked up at the stars... the beautiful stars. They had a dreamy quality to them, and the mist from my breath floated up to them, blanketing them in puffs of steam as I breathed and the mist vanished. It was all blurry for some reason... and I couldn't understand much as a strange weight in my head whispered to me of sleep._

Someone was holding my hand. It was a man... and he sounded tired. But his voice didn't belong to my father. Over and over again he whispered to me, "_It's all right, I'll save you_."

But his voice was fading now... and soon I couldn't see anything at all.

You know how things look dark when you close your eyes? Well... it wasn't like that for me. Everything just kept getting brighter and brighter until, at last, I didn't feel the cold of the night or the burn in my shoulder... or the soothing voice telling me to hold on... _hold on..._

I knew I was getting increasingly weaker, knew with a strange clarity that I had been shot. "Hold on." He told me. "Just a little longer-"

_Faerlain._

The memory tore through me red hot, like a burn. I moaned in agony, both in pain and with the knowledge that I had lost him... forever.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	21. I Will Save You

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**Well, I would like to meet my rescuer.**"**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**-**One**

I Will Save You

* * *

There is an annoying beeping sound... and voices... _so many voices..._

Someone is crying... but I feel too weak to move. I open my eyes... someone is holding my hand. "Victoria!" They cry. "_Victoria!_"

"_She's coming out of it-"_

"_Get the doctor in here now!"_

My vision is blurry and everything is so... _confusing_. "Mom?" I ask groggily... my voice is slurred and my tongue feels like sandpaper in my mouth- as if I haven't used it in a long time. I can see her now... laughing through her tears. She is holding me to her, her arms encircling me in a tight embrace. Dad is holding my hand... as I had held Zachary's. But there are so many other people... and the tingling in my arms and legs _hurts._

.._.so confused... it's making my head hurt... my clothes feel scratchy and stiff... they have a funny smell..._ my shoulder aches horribly-

"You're going to be all right." My father says.. He squeezes my hand... my mom is still crying. Dad has tears in his eyes as I squeeze back... weakly. It's so hard to stay awake... so tiring.

More voices... loud voices. Fading.

I fall asleep into the comforting darkness away from the lights and the noise. I feel more peaceful then I have in a long time. But as I drift off... I feel the ache in my heart. A reminder. Because I made a promise never to forget.

I will _always_ remember.

* * *

I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while. I couldn't feel anything, but I couldn't think of anything else other than the realization that I would never see Faerlain again, and that pained me worse than any bullet every could. It's as if he had really died... as if my sacrifice had been for nothing.

When at last I did wake up, it was to the sound of my mother's voice which, strangely enough, reminded me a lot of Mirlaic's. She started crying when I opened my eyes, and I blinked rapidly, blinded by the bright light overhead. And, even though I knew I had been sleeping for a while, I felt completely and utterly exhausted.

"Where am I?" I whispered hoarsely.

"You're in the hospital, sweety." She told me gently, caressing my hand and pressing it to her lips. I heard my dad now too, he kissed my forehead. "You're through the worst of it. The doctor says you're going to be just fine."

I looked around me, recognizing the mundane trappings of a hospital room. I had a tube in my nose, another in my arm, and I couldn't feel my shoulder at all. My eyes started to close on their own. I felt so _tired._ I tried to force myself to stay awake, but it was so difficult.

"It's alright baby, we'll see you later." I fell asleep to my parents' smiling faces as my mother caressed my face, my hair.

The ache, I knew, would never leave me. But, I realized as I drifted off, it did feel good to be home.

* * *

I was ravenously hungry the next time I woke up. Hospital food isn't exactly what I'd call... mouth-watering... So my dad smuggled me in a sandwich from my favorite fast food place. French Fries... I had forgotten how wonderful they taste. I couldn't explain this to my parents though, they would have thought me insane. After having been in Gilloth for so long, dream or no, the artificial lights in my room seemed harsh- obnoxious even. They gave me headaches and I napped often until I readjusted once more to this life I had been disassociated from for so long.

I felt a little sore otherwise, but whatever the nurses were giving me completely obliterated any pain I might have felt and conveniently dulled my senses at the same time. I sighed as I sank my teeth into the delicious sandwich. The nurses could dope me up on whatever they wanted, it still wouldn't ease the pain that pounded within me.

I was alone at the moment, my parents hadn't left my side in days since I had arrived at the hospital. I'd kept them in a constant state of anxiety, especially since, for them, Zachary had been dead for barely a week when all this had happened.

My mother refused to leave the hospital, but I told her she should, at least, get a decent meal and maybe take a nap for a little while. This was the first time I had been fully conscious and my parents were thrilled that I was eating a decent meal. I sat them down that day and asked them to explain to me exactly what had happened, I was hoping their answers would relay something to me of what had been going on in my head all this time, but I doubted it.

"A convict escaped, remember we were talking about it at dinner that night? He had robbed a local store." My father began. "Turns out he stole a rifle. When you ran outside like you did, he had positioned himself in the middle of the road, hoping to take down a car. When the driver of the first car he saw didn't stop right away, he shot at it and caused it to crash. The car was damaged beyond repair, but the driver made it out. He was a marine, but he was also injured, and the convict held him hostage at gunpoint and made him march through the woods, our woods to the first house he saw."

"They were headed up the hill with the convict's apparent intention of raiding our house when you showed up. The marine tackled him when he heard him prepare to fire, at which point I had run outside and your mother called the police. The bullet caught you anyway, but, after disarming the shooter, he tended to your shoulder until an ambulance could arrive."

"Bless the man." My mother added. "He saved your _life_."

I blinked, amazed at all that had been going on here while I was off dreaming. For that was the only logical explanation I could come up with. A vivid dream, albeit, a _very_ vivid dream, it must have all been in my head. What other explanation was there? I hated to discredit Faerlain like that, but he would remain, literally, the man of my dreams.

The events of the past year, as real to me as any memory, had never happened. The people I had met, and loved, had never existed. I found that a harder pill to swallow than anything else that had happened to me, even the pang still fresh from Zachary's death hadn't hit me as hard as this. I cleared my throat and fought back the tears that burned in my eyes.

"Uh-_wow._ I don't know what to say..." I noted the black clothes my mother wore. My poor parents, losing their only son and then this mess. I could never explain to them what had been happening to me while they had sat here, by my side for the few days I had been unconscious. My mother kissed my cheek.

"We're just glad that you're now."

"Well, I would like to meet my rescuer." I said at length. "I need to thank him- for everything."

My father's face brightened. "I think he might still be in the hospital. He injured his leg in the crash I think, as well as dislocating his shoulder and bruising a few ribs." Dad rose. "I'll go ask the receptionist." Dad left the room and I turned to my mom. She seemed to have aged overnight. I couldn't imagine what the past two weeks had been like before. She smiled and stroked my hair.

"Zachary would have been so proud of you." She said quietly. I smiled, but didn't answer as I noted how her eyes watered. She cleared her throat, coughing politely before continuing. "Anyway, he's the nicest young man, this marine. It almost sounded like you had met him before- the way he kept talking about you.

I frowned. "I don't ever remember meeting a marine before... what's his name?"

"Frederick Gillin. Perfectly lovely, such a gentleman."

At this point, my father re-entered. "What a good man, he was released yesterday but he'd come back today to see how you were doing." He said. A rather tall man followed my father into the room, and my heart stopped as he stood in the doorway and stared at me from across the room.

His hair was shorter, buzz cut via military style, and his uniform was unmistakably modern. But that face, those _eyes_, I'd remember him anywhere. So I stared, dumbfounded, as he smiled. My parents continued talking, but I couldn't hear them. "Hello,_Victoria._" He said softly.

I had no words to say, I felt light-headed.

"Speechless, darling?" Teased my mother. "Didn't you want to speak to Mr. Gillin?" She glanced curiously at me, and both she and my father fell silent.

I found my voice at last, thought it was a tad hoarse. "Could I speak to Mr. Gillin alone for a moment?" I managed, my eyes wide in astonishment. My parents looked surprised at my request, but complied without question and left the room, looking curiously over his shoulder as she did so. I sat up, my bandaged arm laying stiffly at my side. I didn't know what to say, I figured that I _must_ have been dreaming.

Maybe I saw his face before I drifted off when he had saved me. It wasn't_possible..._ "I- I wanted to thank you." I stammered. He stepped further into the room, still smiling, approaching the bed with a definitive stride. He walked with a slight limp, and he had a cut above his right eye but, other than that, he looked fine. But he looked so utterly _happy..._ and I didn't even dare to hope.

He sat down in the chair next to my bed and he leaned in closer to me. I was alarmed at first by his boldness- especially when he reached out to touch my face and I could feel his warm breathe on my skin. "In his heart, he called her Tinúviel, that signifies the Nightengale, daughter of twilight, in the Grey-elven tongue, for he knew no other name for her."

My heart stopped and I gasped, jerking away from him to gaze into his face with wonder. "_Faerlain?_" I breathed incredulously. He smiled and stroked my hair,

"I told you I would save you, my Tinúviel."

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	22. Ever After

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Tolkien's work.

**Chapter Quote: "**You look _beautiful._**"**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**-**Two**

Ever After

* * *

I kissed him with all the life I had within me. He sat on the edge of the bed, pressing my body gently to his own. He ran his fingers through my hair and I pressed mine to his chest, firm beneath my fingers. I couldn't believe that he was real- that he was _mine._ We broke apart, breathless and I rested my forehead against his. "This is ridiculous." I told him, giddy with joy. "I wish I could hold you..."

He chuckled. "I'll do it for you." He said as he wrapped his arms around my body as best he could. I closed my eyes, relishing in his smell, his touch; sensations I thought I would never experience again. I moved back from him, taking in his face, his eyes.

I felt suddenly self-conscious in my scratchy hospital gown and very aware of the fact that I hadn't had a proper shower in days. "Look at me." I said, laughing even as tears slid down my cheeks. "I'm a mess."

He cupped his hands around my chin and gazed deeply into my eyes.

"You look _beautiful."_

* * *

Those eyes, those deep grey _eyes._After resigning myself to not only our perpetual parting, and then to his very non-existence, having him here- with me - felt like nothing short of a miracle. I ran my fingers lightly over his now rounded ear tips.

"How is this even possible?" I asked him softly, still unbelieving of this ghost before me.

He kissed me again, gently seeking my lips. "You sacrificed _everything_ for me. That kind of love is not easily forgotten."

"And this... this whole mess... everything..." I pressed my hand to the spot on his chest where his wound had killed him. "Was it just a dream?"

He planted a gentle kiss on my neck, his fingers tracing my shoulder blades. "Maybe." He said, kissing me again.

"But it was a good dream."

* * *

We don't really talk about it much. But, dream or not, Faerlain sacrificed his immortality so that we could have our eternity. His life, his family, Gilloth - all of it, gone. For me. For us, for our forever.

I was released from the hospital a few days after our reunion, I introduced Faerlain, erm, _Frederick,_ to my parents as a friend I had met over the summer. If they found anything unusual about our mysteriously formed relationship, they never said. I attended and graduated from a state university in 2003 with a B.A. in Art with the intention of teaching and, occasionally, freelancing.

Faerlain finished his four year tour in Iraq the same year I graduated, we were married shortly thereafter at ages 23 and 26 respectively. We moved to a large farm on the border of the United States and Canada where we raise horses. Talorta made the move with us as well and sired many handsome foals before he retired.

Faerlain went on to earn his Master's degree in History and got a job teaching at a local, community college. Two years later, we had our first child- a little girl whom we named, 'Estel', which means 'Hope' in Sindarin.

I quit teaching to stay at home with her full-time and did some freelance on the side. We were never particularly wealthy, but always content. In later years, we would go on to have four more children, two boys and two more girls.

* * *

"Faerlain?" I called, glancing ahead of me as my husband slowed. Still as lithe and lean since the day I'd met him, he had one of his old army t-shirts on, a faded hunter green, and a pair of jeans. He had our oldest son, who was two at the time, on his shoulders. Estel was walking beside me, holding my hand.

We lived in a lovely town, very small, and we were walking down main street one sunny afternoon when I noticed a poster hanging in the window of the college bookshop. It was an advertisement announcing the anniversary edition of a trilogy called, _Lord of the Rings. _That, however, was not what caught my eye. It was the poster itself, it featured a map with the words 'Middle-earth' printed in its center. He stood beside me, staring, and we exchanged glances when we both saw the name 'Mirkwood' printed on a forest.

He bought the trilogy immediately.

It has become one of our favorites since.

* * *

I painted the interior of our house with murals of what I could remember of Mirlaic's flet. There were my pride, I even sold paintings (after thoroughly decorating my house with a good number) of ones I had created of my memories of Gilloth. As the years past I stayed home, painting, caring for (and having) Faerlain and I's children. I began to write this story, which you now hold in your hands, after the birth of our last child.

Faerlain and I concluded it with the finishing touches on our tenth anniversary.

Not all stories sound like fairy-tales, and mine certainly didn't begin like one. Faerlain and I never question the unusual circumstances that brought us together, we just accepted them whole-heartedly.

We never 'dreamed' about Gilloth again.

And this is where _my_ story ends and where _ours_ continues. A story that belongs to the both of us, Faerlain and I.

We will live our happily ever after. For whatever comes now, we have each other. So far, the future is looking pretty good.

"_Among the tales of sorrow and ruin_

_that came down to us from the darkness _

_of those days are yet some in which amid weeping_

_there is joy and under the shadow of death_

_light that endures. _

_And of these histories most fair still in the ears of the Elves_

_is the tale of Beren and Lúthien." _- Simarillion pg.162

* * *

**FINIS**


	23. SF NOTES

**Disclaimer:** I own none of Tolkien's creations and only lay claim to my own humble creatures.

**Author:** Allora (aka) Lady Elora

**Genre:** Angst/Mystery/Romance

**Rating:** T- for violence and some adult situations.

**Beta:** Kiann

* * *

**Star-Flowers Ending Notes**

* * *

These notes are basically little tidbits of information on the characters of Star-Flowers, as well as a final note on the story itself. This is, all in all, my good-bye letter to both this story and the characters who made it so special. Thanks to my readers as well for their continued support!

**Dedication:**This story was a gift for one of my most avid fans, Cailey, and after a year and a half, it's finall completed. Thanks luv! I wouldn't have written this without you.

* * *

**Notes Index:**

Character Summaries

Plot Notes

Author's Notes

Upcoming Projects

* * *

**Characters:**

_**Index of Characters:**_

_Victoria_

_Faerlain_

_Zach_

_Cudir/Elenowen/Ana/Turwithiel_

_Araviniel/Alphril_

_Mr. and Mrs. Knightengale_

_Talorta_

_Mirlaic_

* * *

**Victoria Knightengale: **Victoria, as I said in the SIMA end notes, was one of the most complex characters I ever created. In SIMA she had some MAJOR character development, but in SF, (a much simpler tale on all accounts) the changes she underwent were very subtle. SF was about Victoria growing up, falling in love. The ending I took to further heights by writing a proper epilogue showing a teeny glimpse into her and Faerlain's married life. Victoria, as do all my protagonists, often reflect what I would do in situations or my own thoughts. Therefore, just as my other leading ladies in my fanfics, I will always hold her in a special place in my heart.

**Faerlain/Frederick Gillin:** Faerlain follows a pattern that all of my leading males follow, he is the embodiment of certain traits I hope to find in my own husband someday. Now SF brought out a new view of Faerlain for me. In SIMA, I had always had the intention of killing him off so he was rather under-developed in nature. I felt initially that he was just a crush for Victoria. All of this changed however in SF because now he was not only a main character, but also Victoria's true love. And he lived! Erm... sort of. - It was a lot of fun writing his POV's in the story since I never really let myself do that for any of my leading males.

On a separate note, when any of my Middle-earthian characters come to our boring world, I usually make a play on their names by finding a modern sounding name that looks similar to their own. Therefore in SIMA, Legolas became 'Laurie'- which earned him fame as I offered a nod to Christian Bale's darling character in the film, _Little Women_. In SF however, there is no special meaning whatsoever for Faerlain's modern name. At first I looked for something that meant 'free spirit', which is the direct translation of Faerlain's name but, when that failed, I settled for any name beginning with 'f' that I liked. I wasn't especially fond of Frederick... but it worked for its purposes. 'Gillin' was just a play on 'Gilloth'.

**Zachary Knightengale: **Again, Zach really didn't appear that often in this story. What he represented was what awaited humans when they died. If I may simply quote the notes from SIMA on Zach:

" [Zach ... he showed that, Victoria was terrified of death. She was terrified of it until the end when she realizes that it isn't something to be afraid of... but only an acceptance of the evitable and a journey we all take in the end. A farewell and a journey to a better life. So, even though he was dead, Zach ended up playing Victoria's big brother after all. And, I seem to have this strange fascination with older brothers. For some reason I always thought it would be awesome to have one... I don't know why... but I seem to have this recurring obsession with creating older brothers in my fanfictions. (Shrugs)" I rest my case.

**Cudir/Elenowen/Ana/Turwithiel:** They were such a cute little family. Unlike in SIMA, they didn't really have a big role in SF, but they were fun to play with anyway. I was also proud of myself for discreetly weaving my way around Elenowen's labor scene. Touchy subject... but I think I succeeded in making in a little more realistic than it appeared in SIMA.

**Araviniel/Aphril:** Araviniel was based, in part, on a childhood friend that I gradually grew apart from as we grew older and I eventually moved. I never intervened in any romances I had (pfft. Never had any. Lol.) But she was always very bold and stead-fast, which I loved about her and tried to bring through in her personality. She was fiercely loyal to both her brother and Victoria and did what she thought was right for the both of them. Aphril... cool mom. Again, lost her importance in SF but she deserved the honorable mention just the same.

**Mr. and Mrs. Knightengale: **I changed these two up a bit from psychotic parents to normal people, which I was very proud of myself for. I like to think that SF represents some of the growth I myself have undergone as a writer and I think I could say this is represented through their portrayals.

**Talorta:**Quoting from my SIMA Notes: _" Anyone who has read my past stories knows that I'm an avid horse fan. I own them, ride them, compete with them, love them... so in every story I've written horses, in one way or another, always make it into my fanfictions. Talorta was based on my former horse, Tuffey. Who now is retired and in the good care of my younger sister, Ashley. Who has been a faithful reader of this story from the beginning. Thanks so much Ash! Talora, based on Tuffey, is just a wonderful being and is a written tribute to one of God's most wonderful creations. :) I'll miss you Talorta!"_

**Mirlaic:**I don't really have much to say about Mirlaic. As with happened to most of my supporting characters, they lost the prominence they had in SIMA, but they were still fun to play around with. This was, after all, never supposed to take SIMA's place, just to satisfy Vic/Faerlain shippers.

* * *

**Plot Notes:**

SFwas never meant to be a complex, highly developed tale so I consider it more of a novella than a real novel. It is at least ten to thirty chapters shorter in comparison to my other works, but because of the nature of the project I think it turned out quite well. SF was also never meant to take the place of SIMA. I LOVE SIMA, it has to be my favorite fanfiction ever and, though flawed, it will always be my favorite. SF was instead the means to satisfy Vic/Faerlain shippers who really had their dreams shattered in SIMA. I hope I satisfied you.

The other thing I wanted to mention concerning SF was its connection to "The tale of Lúthien and Beren". This story really became prominent in SF and Victoria and Faerlain's story ended up mirroring the tale. I decided to take this course of action when, by chance, I was doing some research when I discovered that Beren called Lúthien, 'Tinúviel', which meant 'Nightengale'. Imagine my wonder when I realized Victoria not only had the same last name, but that her and Faerlain's tale was based of that!

From then on, I just had a blast! See how many references you can find to the original tale (if your familiar with it, and I highly recommend it!). I'll mention a few, Victoria sacrificing her 'life' for Faerlain Lúthien sacrifices her immortality for Beren. Faerlain realizing he loves Victoria when he sees her dancing in the woods before the fall festical Beren seeing Lúthien for the first time when she was dancing in the forest.

Good times, good times. Sometimes, I'm not even going to lie, at times, I find myself insanely clever. :)

* * *

**Author Notes:**

I'm not going to lie, I was getting tired with SF half way through when I was just revising chapters. I'm sooo happy it's complete, but I'm also kind of sad. I don't think I'll ever write a sequel to either story, but I think its alright like that.

I may or may not write little ficlets in the future about random scenes that just couldn't make it into the fiction. Examples: Faerlain's reaction to realizing he was with Victoria in her world, their decision to have children (wink wink, nudge nudge coughinnuendocough), some scenes in their marriage. But in the mean time, this story is over and done.

* * *

**Upcoming Projects:**

I'm more then dead serious on finishing _Fire May Burn, _my Fantastic Four fic. I think some of my readers might have been concerned that it was joining my fanfiction graveyard (See _With Silent Charm, Amid the Burning Plains, and One Dark Knight)_, but I was really just putting it on hold until I finished_Star-Flowers_. Now that this story is completed I fully plan to finish it and I already have a few chapters written that I just need to type up.

Over the summer I will be revising _The Spray of the Sea, _my PotC fic and completing its sequel, _When the Tide Comes In. _I will not be posting chapters for the revision or the sequel until I have it carefully planned out and 80 completed, but you can expect chapters by mid-July of 2008.

I know once I see _Prince Caspian_ that I'll want to complete my two Narnia fics, and the same goes with my Batman Begins fic, so you can look for updates for those stories too in the indefinite future!

As far as updating goes, I'm going to try and have a new chapter posted every Saturday. If this goal succeeds, I'll be very pleased with myself. Between work, school, team commitments, and working on my original novels I sometimes get sidetracked but, never fear, it will happen!

As far as revisiting the LotR genre is concerned, I'll probably start up again in a year or so as news for _The Hobbit _goes underway. In the mean time, I'm taking a break and, though it's been fun, I need it.

Thanks so much for all your support people! And don't hesitate to email me/leave a review if you have any questions or to pester me for updates. I love the support and it gives me the energy to write.

* * *

**Finis**

Started: 1-7-07

Completed: 1-18-08

Good-bye darlings! I will miss you all:)

-_Allora_


End file.
